Help with wording!

frannyann

Hi guys
As I look through this forum I have noticed you are all very helpful, so wondered if you can have a think on this??

Me and H2B are not having a wedding list, as we have everything we need and don't want 'stuff' for the sake of it, so instead have set up a JustGiving page for a small charity we both follow on Twitter and feel would benefit more. Most of the people coming to the wedding will be okay with it, but a few (older) people may feel a bit 'funny' about not getting a present. So not sure how to word this

'We don't have a wedding list but instead would prefer donations to Jessicas Trust at www.justgiving etc, however (this is were we are stuck!!) if you wish to mark the day with a gift ...... (see really stuck??)

Any help would be great!!

Mme.Hibou

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/bridal-registry-advice/qa/charitable-donations-instead-of-wedding-gifts.aspx?MsdVisit=1 wrote:

Q.

My friend will be marrying for the second time and it will be a very small, late-morning, informal garden wedding. She does not want gifts. If, however, guests feel so inclined, she would most like a donation to a charity in her mother's memory. Everyone invited knows of her mother's recent death, but is there a way to indicate, other than word of mouth, that if guests do wish to give gifts, a donation to the charity would be most appreciated?


A.

Etiquette-wise, really the only way your friend can encourage donations to the charity is through word of mouth. Even though it is assumed that guests will give wedding gifts, you can't ask for them -- in any form -- outright, and so putting a specific request on invitations would be inappropriate and even presumptuous. The best thing for the bride to do is to communicate her wishes with her close friends and family, and have them spread the word. The fact that it's her second marriage, however, may work to her advantage, as more people may be inclined to give money rather than material gifts. She can then turn around and give the money to the charity in their names. Also, if people ask where (or if) she is registered, she and her friends and family should then feel comfortable in telling them about her donation wishes.

Found this on another website, maybe just say nothing?

frannyann

Lydia82 wrote: »

Found this on another website, maybe just say nothing?

Thanks, was wondering whether to say nothing and just give web address if asked for a wedding list. As its 2nd time around for me, I am not too fussed, but OH family are very old fashioned and 'will' expect a wedding list!

Mme.Hibou

Are you putting a 'fact-sheet' or something into the wedding invite? How about just putting the justgiving address on there and when people click onto it to see what it is, have a bit of an intro into why you've chosen that specific charity.

Tigerlilley1980

My friends just did this for their wedding. The best man sent an email to everyone saying that ??? and ??? have been together long enough and have everything they need for their lives together, so if you would like to give a gift please donate to (charity). Please don't feel that you have to though as your presence on the day is more than enough!

HTH Tiger xx

frannyann

Lydia82 wrote: »

Are you putting a 'fact-sheet' or something into the wedding invite? How about just putting the justgiving address on there and when people click onto it to see what it is, have a bit of an intro into why you've chosen that specific charity.

Tigerlilley1980 wrote: »

My friends just did this for their wedding. The best man sent an email to everyone saying that ??? and ??? have been together long enough and have everything they need for their lives together, so if you would like to give a gift please donate to (charity). Please don't feel that you have to though as your presence on the day is more than enough!

HTH Tiger xx

Thank you both for great ideas, going to merge the two I think. Put a little slip in the invite, giving the web address and using that wording the best man used! Think that will be okay?

frannyann

Just a thought, how do I deal with the 'oldies' (mainly OH family) who we know will be a 'bit' off at the 'wacky' idea and want a present to actually give us??

Mme.Hibou

frannyann wrote: »

Just a thought, how do I deal with the 'oldies' (mainly OH family) who we know will be a 'bit' off at the 'wacky' idea and want a present to actually give us??

Are they likely to give you a present though? I haven't received a Christmas present from my grandparents since I was about 13 years old, I've always been given money as they'd have no idea what I'd want, this has always been their choice. We're not stipulating anything on the invites, I can't imagine we'll receive presents, if we do, we'll receive them with thanks, same with money. If people want to give a charitable donation in our name then that'll be fine too, if they don't want to spend anything, I'll just be happy for them to enjoy the day with us.

Don't worry about it.

frannyann

You're right, need to stop worrying about it! Silly thing is this is the only thing we are worrying about. Its actually OH parents, they are in their 70's and we know they just won't 'get' the whole 'no present' thing!

ETA, Everyone else thinks its a great idea, and are looking forward to seeing their name on the donation page!

frannyann

Settled on printing a little slip with the web address on and leaving it at that. We will pop them in the envelop and leave people to decide what they want to do.

Witsend_2

Frannyann if you send me a PM with your names and the reason for Jessicas trust (a little history about Jessicas life) then I would be more than happy to write you a little poem to place in your invitations if it's not too late. Best wishes for the big day.