In need of advice please, head is spinning

PauloYorks

Thats a relief. No i havent paid them any money bar my board money and all my debts are in my name

script

Paulo,

With a bit of luck your parents need never find out about your BR.

We all understand your concern - because parents are (usually) from a generation who couldn't borrow - credit just wasn't available.

And they don't always understand the financial pressures of living in todays world.

And the "older generation" so much love the phrase "we saved for the things we wanted."

Luckily for them - their incomes let them save a bit.

And the other comment we have all heard (x1000).

"if we couldn't afford it, we didn't have it."

Maybe, and I'm just guessing, but what if credit had been available to previous generations- they might not be in a position to have that slightly "holier than thou" attitude.

They too would have been marketed very aggressively by the Banks - who know full well that our incomes never let us pay for all of life's essentials - and yes maybe a few luxuries.

And we start the debt spiral desperately trying to keep everyone up to date by having to borrow more...

Anyway.

A quick story...

A friend of mine petitioned for Bankruptcy as she was mortified that her parents would find out.

It was in the days when all bankruptcies were advertised in the local paper (now days it's very, very rare).

And her parents did find out.

And yes they were a bit upset.

She just listened to their comments. And then said...

"Well whatever you think of me, I decided to take full responsibility for my actions. And do the honest, decent thing for myself and my creditors. I didn't want to get any deeper in debt. And I didn't want my creditors to spend their money chasing me for money that I just don't have"

She then took a deep breath and continued..

"I've paid the price and petitioned for my own Bankruptcy, so that everything can be properly sorted out"

I think she also mentioned...

"I don't owe any individuals any money - just the banks and credit card companies, and over the years I have paid them back a lot of money. And they'll get tax benefits on the outstanding money in my bankruptcy."

The ending to the story?

Her parents became very supportive and understanding.

But what if yours do find out and don't understand?

Well you've been responsible, honest, and done the decent thing - and you can't ever do more than that.

And you always have your g/f.

And the future will be so much better than it ever would have been.

PauloYorks

Thats a sound post. Thank you very much. Just wondering. How did her parents find out? That is a grear post though, thanks

script

Paulo,

Someone pointed out or mentioned the BR Ad in the paper to them.

But do remember now days BR Ads very rarely appear in the local papers.

It's extremely unlikely that you'll get an Ad.

PauloYorks

we dont get the local paper anyhow mate. I didnt know if they had seen her post or something. I just want to keep it private if I can. I am going to start getting advice tomorrow and Friday then really kick on with whatever is suggested. Its time to get my life back on track after two years of worry

script

Good for you.

You'll be amazed just how much better you'll feel.

PauloYorks

yeah once i get all the advice I need etc I will and then if I do have to go BR ill get it sorted out and start again. Will be like been back at school, no responabilities! (spelt badly wrong) thanks again

tadsa

I would say - take the plunge and tell your parents. Even if they go ballastic initially it's got to be better than constantly worrying that they will find out. BR is worrying enough but worse without the support of those close to you.

tadsa

I meant ballistic not ballastic