Very Depressed - is this normal

larzie30

Hi All

I went br on thursday last week, was my birthday over the weekend and everyone fussed around me especially my lovely other half. The thing is I am so depressed, i can't stop crying and I just want to go to bed and not wake up. Now I know this is all very dramatic but it is honestly how I feel. I keep reading on here how people feel a weight has been lifted and so much better etc and I wonder if there is something wrong with me. Now rationally I know it is a fresh start and that things will get better from now and that everything happens for a reason, i also know that there are people in the world with far more serious problems than this, and also I am very lucky in many other ways, so why can't I just snap out of it. I don't even know when my or interview is yet so can't even stress about that. Has anyone else had this or am I the only one?

Thanks for reading.

L

Bethankim

Huge hugs petal,

your reaction is normal, not everyone feels relief, although it will come. You have been through a very very difficult time, you had to cope and you did.
this is your bodies natural reaction to all that stress, and it may sound odd..but jumbled in their somewhere is the loss of the life you had, it may not have been eprfect and you know things had to change but you need to adjust to what life will be like now.

give yourself a bit of time and go with it, it may be your feeling a sense of failure too, we spend so much time doing all the practical things before BR we tend to forget our emotional needs. be kind to yourself , give yourself a little bit of time and step by step you will feel brighter.

If though the feelings last longer or get worse go see your GP its not uncommon for depression to set in and getting help early will mean a quicker recovery.

beth
xx

So_Sad_Angel

larzie30 wrote: »

Hi All

I went br on thursday last week, was my birthday over the weekend and everyone fussed around me especially my lovely other half. The thing is I am so depressed, i can't stop crying and I just want to go to bed and not wake up. Now I know this is all very dramatic but it is honestly how I feel. I keep reading on here how people feel a weight has been lifted and so much better etc and I wonder if there is something wrong with me. Now rationally I know it is a fresh start and that things will get better from now and that everything happens for a reason, i also know that there are people in the world with far more serious problems than this, and also I am very lucky in many other ways, so why can't I just snap out of it. I don't even know when my or interview is yet so can't even stress about that. Has anyone else had this or am I the only one?

Thanks for reading.

L

Awwww L Honey.....just want to give you a big <<hug>>:grouphug::grouphug: ( sorry could only find the dodgy ones !! )

You have been through so much in the last week....& prior to that you had an awful lot of worry. It takes times to clear the mind & be able to move on. In a way this is now your `recovery` time & you need it. Give yourself a break & listen to your body....it is telling you to rest now to be able to leave all the stress that had build up behind.

:coffee::coffee: Relax & get a nice cuppa & tell yourself its OK to feel like this....don`t give yourself a hard time & above all give it time.

Maybe a chat with your GP can help. It is normal to feel disorientated...you have been through a lot Honey.

Angiexx

ps I`m out today but do PM me if you need to chat.

So_Sad_Angel

LOL - I`m not as quick at typing as you are Beth :D:D

fiveyearplan

Hi Larzie - I never felt that overwhelming feeling of relief either - we still had OH's debts to sort (and still do!) and house to worry about. You are still on the BR rollercoaster and it does take time. Start to think of all the positive things BR means to your situation and please don't feel a failure. I know I'm certainly not!!!

As Bethankim advises above if you feel the depression is deeper go and discuss it with your GP. Things will get better!

fiveyearplan

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

LOL - I`m not as quick at typing as you are Beth :D:D

neither am I it seems!

MicheH

Hi, I went br 4 weeks ago. Was it an immediate weight lifted off as i waled out of court. to be honest no, i was just relieved to get out of that building and the stress of having to go to court was over. Going br is extremely emotionally draining both before court and for a time after. I'm still not at the 'gung ho, live is brilliant stage' but I don't regret going bankrupt at all.. as the days go on every thing gets easier believe me.

I'm turning 30 on Sunday and not sure how that is going to hit me. I want to wave bye bye to my 20's as they have left me in a right mess. I want to be positive about the 30 mark being a new start and a change for the better. I really don't know how it is going to go as I do get 'down' rather a lot.

I have to come to terms withthis big B on my head, but who cares.. I keep thinking it's a blip on my record.. what record. Who knows, after a year all my br will be is a tick next to a question 'have you been bankrupt' well, yes I have and I've delt with so much more than just a tick next to a word.

If you want to go to bed and have a cry. Do it! Yey for the blanket show!! BUT then get up and think as positively as you can. There will be knocks and hurdles but it won't effect you emotionally.. I just feel frustration now because i'm dealing with insurances and utilities.

We're all here for you, keep writing on the boards. It really does help x

iquit

Morning larzie, sorry you are feeling down at the moment. Bankruptcy is a minefield of conflicting emotions and we all experience different ones. I have read of people being elated and others feeling depressed - it is all normal. I think the process is a bit like bereavement stages (1 denial,shock & isolation 2 anger 3 bargaining 4 depression 5 acceptance). Visit this site to let off steam whenever you need or want to and please don't feel that there is something wrong with you for feeling the way you do. Things will get better and sharing will help you cope. Belated Happy Birthday - I went BR on my birthday, I used it as a marker for the start of a new debt free life.

So_Sad_Angel

Ooooh forgot to say Happy Birthday L ! :bdaycake::bdaycake: keep smiling Sweetheart.

& Happy Birthday to you to MicheH. for next week. ( I`ve not baked you a cake yet:D )

Angiepange

Larzie I have felt just like you do since my BR, I just wanted to turn the clock back and have driven my DH mad with 'what ifs'. I am finding it hard to come to terms with but some days feel more positive than others.

Worry for the future esp the house situation is probably my biggest concern at the moment but I think you just have to take it one day at a time and get thru as best you can. I hope you can gather strength and positivity from people on this board, reading posts on here is really helping me cope.

My OR interview is tomorrow and the build up to it has been so stressful for me. I am hoping once it is over I will start to feel a bit more 'normal' again!! My thoughts are with you, you are certainly not alone in how you are feeling. Take care of yourself.

Angie xx

kew63

Hi Larzie

So sorry to hear you are feeling so depressed. Along with the others can confirm that after BR (hubbie went just over 5 weeks ago) isnt the instant relief you always expect, and I commented on here that it's a bit of an anti-climax, you expect lots to happen and it doesnt.

Concerning the depression, a few years ago I ended up being diagnosed with anxiety related depression, basically the high levels of stress that I was under at the time sent me into quite a meltdown. The stress that you have gone through in the months & weeks leading up to the point of BR could easily have caused the depression you are feeling.

You might as the days pass start to feel better normally, but if you still feel the big black cloud looming & constantly want to hide under the duvet then you do need to get yourself along to the docs.

They may or may not prescripe something, but most important is they will & can help you feel so much better.

Most important is be kind to yourself, you've been through one of life's horrors and it completely natural that it's taken it's toll, but you are on the better side of the path now and it will slowly & surely get better for you, if you need a little help on the way, take it. If you are having a crap day do something that makes you happy, whether that's a chocolate brownie & a favourite DVD, or getting out for a walk, seeing friends that make you happy. Stuff that makes you feel crap, you may not be able to permenantly ignore but dont feel guilty if on a bad day you say "no thanks not today".

Take care, go see that doc and really hope you will be feeling better very soon.