Suckered Punched

CAFCGirl

Hi All,

This is a bit of a dreary one from me, and I do hope I don't drag anyone else down with me!

I feel like I'm letting the side down here but I've just hit a brick wall. I know I haven't been doing the whole DFW thing too long, but in all honesty Im starting to feel like I'm just not cut out for it.

My head doesnt seem to follow my heart. I desperately want to be free of my debts in the next two years, which I think is reasonable. The SOA went up recently and I've been really trying to make cut backs where I can. I've got a system set up with flatmate so her share of bill money is sent to my account on 1st of every month, so dont have to chase her for it, which is what happened with last flatmate!

I think I have a distinct lack of organisation. I did the spending diary and ascertained that I buy things solely to cheer myself up, and to break up the boredom that is my life. I work for a company which looks like it'll be going bust in the not too distant future, and I haven't been there long enough to get anything from it.So have been hunting for new jobs.Had one interview, with follow up with area manager, and had another today.

The follow up one made me think I'm not cut out for the job I applied for and the second one made me feel like I'm going to be her dogsbody, and was offering less money than I get now! Oh yeah defo gonna jump at that one!

I just seem to eat money! I'm disappointed that I still haven't been able to get my comp fixed so that I can actually start selling on EBay. I have piles and piles of stuff to go on, and I see it as money just sitting there!

I have a fairly small flat, well the kitchen is anyway, which means I'm continually popping along to Tesco's! I live within the city centre so mooching around town on day off is typically the done deal. I try to limit myself, as if I just try not to buy anything I end up getting so frustrated that I just blow the whole budget out the window.

Today for example I've spent £20! £18 was on a pair of beautiful earrings to complete a set I have, which I wanted to cheer myself up from the tragic interview with woman from hell, and £2 was on little present for boyf!

See, I'm guided solely by emotion here. I told this was dreary!

I know I'm probably just hitting the wall as it were, because I feel like I'm not making a dent, or enough savings, and part of me just wants to jack the whole thing in!But then I just want the weight shifted!

HELP ME GOD! Or other significant higher being whoever you may be!

Thanks for listening xx

heppy23

I find that in life you need to be able to see progress.
It is easier to set yourself small goals and keep seeing results rather than setting big ones that you never seem to reach.

Rather than saying "i want to be debt free in 2 years" you would be better off making a detailed plan. it's a long slog but it will help you.
Rather than saying "I want to pay off X debt" say "I aim to reduce X debt by Y amount by X date".

Doing it that way you can see progress. Write them all down on a chart and tick them off. Give yourself gold stars or treats at each success.

Emmzi

CAFC,

going through job hunt myself just now - it's pants, isn't it?

The worst thing for me is the uncertainy of income. Very easy to get into 'why bother, I'll be skint anyway...'

However - you know you need to get a new job (of some sort) and spending cash now will only make things worse in the future...

Get some feedback from the interview you had today, *if* you don't get job (and you still migt - fingers crossed for you!). Then you'll know what to do better next time.

Just try and not increase debt for now, get money put by in case you have some time between jobs.. and when you are ore settled, replan your DF date?

Take care,

Emmzi

heppy23

With regard to the stuff you want to sell on ebay, do a bit of research and see what stuff will sell really well. Put a few of these items up and seeing them sell will push you on. If possible list one item every day. Shouldn't take you long and you will always be able to see things progressing (and the money will slowly be dripping in).

scottishspendaholic

Hi CAFC Girl,

I really feel for you - I totally GET how you are feeling. I'm a classic case of buying things to cheer myself up and sometimes don't like my life very much, because being in debt stops it being fun (or so it seems) and suffer ACCUTELY from friends jealousy.

I don't know if this is a good suggestion or not - but is there anything productive you could be doing with the time off that you have? Could you babysit or dogwalk or housesit? Would you like to take up a new (cheap) hobby like writing or painting or a craft like knitting or sewing? Or sometimes when I feel as cr*p as you do now, I just go to bed for the afternoon with a good book.

I know life is cr*p just now and I'm feeling pretty rubbish today knowing that its work tomorrow and for the next forever and forever, but one day that lovely holiday or nice babies or big house will come and it will all seem worth it, I hope and promise.

Sorry this isn't very positive, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Please don't give up. Maybe you could set yourself new weekly, monthly and yearly goals - I do this all the time and constantly revise mine. I know what I want to achieve in 2007 and 2008 because its the only way I can stay upbeat and get through the days.

Love

scottishspendaholic x

CAFCGirl

Thanks peeps.

Think I'm just having a feel sorry for myself looooooooooong weekend since I was working the whole time and feel quite under the weather.

In that short time though, I did get my finger out and phone I.F, who had offered me a LOB CC transfer at 4.95% pa, which apparently is quite good from what I heard on here. I sent back my agreement over 2 weeks ago and still haven't received it.Was getting a bit worried some b***er had stolen it from my post (I love Royal Mail, really!). Found a contact number and they searched their systems for me and told me the pin had been generated and it should be with me by the end of the week. OHHHHH and they've given me a credit limit which allows me to transfer the whole balance from Abbey CC (which is at 22.9%)!!!!

So that to me has just given me a little lift, its a small step, just like you said Heppy!

Job hunt has been pants but I guess at least I'm getting the interviews. The one today offered me the job but I just wouldnt enjoy it, and I wont put myself through unnecessary unhappiness.At least I've got income for now! Former colleague told me about a job going in her company, and she's put me forward for that so just need to jazz up cv for her.It's a job I think I would really enjoy in fashion retail, as opposed to gift retailing, which is where I ended up.Bad choices somewhere along the lines!I think the one thing thats raising eyebrows in my interviews is that I've had 4 jobs in 4 years, but each has been to step forward, and upward in pay and position, but they seem conscious that I might do that to them.Just need to find some good spin to put on it!

Its probably not as bad as it seems. I generally get one thought in my head and it spirals out of all proportion, I dig my own holes and I dig them deep!

However must find a way out, so any suggestions for things I may have missed. I'm gonna have to find the energy and time to do these things if I wanna do them right, so please peeps, hit me with it!!!

LookingAhead

Hi CAFCgirl. It's pants when you have to tackle your debts and the root causes of them....we know....we all know....:sad:

Giev yourself a talking too! (Write it down in a diary if you can).
Tell yourself you can either carry on with this (with the support of us of course) and look for challenging ways to save money/make money....setting yourself targets and goals no matter how small...you will become addicted at some point I guarantee it.

Or, you give up and let things spiral even more out of control. £6k isn't to be sniffed at I know and I feel for you that you are in any debt. But it gets worse if you don't tackle it until you run out of all options and then you really will feel !!!!!!.

I have to go off now (OH has made lunch) but will pop bck soon and see if there are ideas I can post that will help inspire you again to get back on track and look at this differently. It is about changing your attitude as well as keeping your purse in your bag!

Don't give up yet.

L.A. xx

CAFCGirl

Thanks Scottish,

I always love your posts lol!
I've got today, tomorrow and saturday off work, so whilst the money is still coming in I had best enjoy whatever time I've got there!

I always find myself sitting around doing nothing!I just get so bored with the hum-drum.Although before I got more money conscious I didnt really go out anyway, so why it seems like an issue now is beyond me!!!

I've been trying to get into soap and candle making, so that in the future, I can just make peoples bday/xmas presents.Quite sad that I've already started on xmas presents really!Theres always things to do, just never seem to want to do them LOL.Sounds terrible really I know.

However this evening and tomorrow I will make a more concise effort to get on with some housework, my own wallowing does not need to be emphasised by a mingy flat as well!

CAFCGirl

Giev yourself a talking too! (Write it down in a diary if you can).
LookingAhead

Thanks hun. I have given myself a suitable slap round the face. Sometimes its good to just get it out and off the chest.

Its even harder because the boyf doesnt really seem to understand, he's not even paying his credit card bills! But thats a different story and none of my concern lol

I feel a bit tight fisted when we go out because I've always paid my way and treated him etc but now its almost like saying, if you want us to go out you have to pay lol, but then nice girls finish last.

Like some other posts mentionned the DF in two years did have a form of plan to it! But they all seem a bi out dated and I've fallen by the way side with weekly budgets etc, I aim for as many no spend days as possible.

I've been taking my lunch into work with me every day,although my BOGOF cans of coke have now run out, so thats disappointing!

I'm terrible when it comes to food shopping too.Just generally pop out each evening up to tescos for whatever is needed.I'm trying a store cupboard challenge for May, but we have no freezer stock lol, so its all tins, and no bulk!So I pop out for one thing, and end up coming back with a whole entire meal!Which defeats the object.

OK so baby steps all the way.
Goals for today
Do washing up
Go into work to cash up their tills for them, pick up mince out of fridge that I left there yesterday, make spag bol.Have everything else indoors.
DO NOT STOP
DO NOT PASS GO
DEFO DO NOT COLLECT £200, although would be nice!

MushyPeas

I think that is v. organised doing stuff for crimbo Reminds me that I need to do it as well....I have so many things I've bought over the years to make pressies with so I might as well do that...more money saving

Chin up, come on here whenever you feel the 'urge to splurge' and we'll put you right!!

CAFCGirl

Its just unfortunate that I can take this forum board round in my pocket when I'm in town.

If it werent for the fact that I bought earrings which I cant return, I'd have take them back.Oh well done it now.Must find another £18 worth of stuff to sell on ebay when I get that fixed!!!