Brand new to this and need help!

mrscmr

yep we had our house valued at 485k but our mortgage is 360k and they wouldnt lend us any more. so we just pleaded poor and then they gave us a 6 month hol! bless them and all other creditors i have spoken to have been good too! november will be our time for paying again.. :-(

CASR25

No problem.
It's our choice - she is reluctant to take it. I wanted to have a full say like the other mums do, almost treat her as an employee not grandma - if you get me!
She is an ofsted registered childminder - it's her job. Our daughter takes up one of her spaces - she could get double what we give her, we've had to fill in a contract etc.
She's not taken anything over the last few months and when our son arrives is still taking my daughter free of charge and then only wants to be paid for the one once I'm back at work.
Hope that makes sense.

kittiej

Yes but if you're in dire straights then you need to cut back as far as possible, even if it's a temporary glitch.

You're taking out credit in someone elses name and using credit to survive.

Do you really want to go through a DMP or IVA? I think not.

It's a nice idea paying your way but you need help.

CASR25

No we really don't want DMP or IVA & yes, it's terrible we took out debt in my mum-in-laws name - the lightbulb is on, we know we need help - we've made my mum aware of our situation today, until I return to work in jan she's not taking anything.

Today's the first day of sorting it I'm sure!

kittiej

What did you spend all that money on?

Are you absolutely sure you can't sell anything else?

I'm not so sure that two weeks before you're due to have a baby is the best time to be thinking about all of this.

You know if all else fails your debts will still be there in six weeks time lol.

Honestly don't stress yourself, not at the moment.

Concentrate on your baby.

CASR25

Too many things! I'm sure we can if we try.
I know - and you're right! Think it's been the realisation that he's about to arrive that's triggered this!
Thanks x

kittiej

Don't panic, you've wised up to your situation.

Don't do any more, not at the minute anyway cos it's not good for you.

I know you're in a tizz but it's only money - nothing more, nothing less.

TBH I would have felt so much easier if your OH had been posting on here.

Stop, honestly stop now.

No more, it's time to prepare for your son.

Forget everything else and relax.

Take care and I don't want to see you on here talking about debts for a good few weeks.

Francesanne

kittiej wrote: »

I'm just wondering why you have to pay your mother for looking after her grandchild?

I don't get that sorry.

Her Mum's a childminder and she's being charged a reduced rate. Her Mum has to make a living too & pay her bills.

Poosmate

Sorry kittiej but I have to disagree with you. Casr is obviously very worried about her and her husbands finances otherwise she wouldn't have posted. if she stops posting and dealing with it do you really think she's going to be able to "relax" and get ready for her new baby son? I think not and once the baby is here she will be overwhelmed for a while (even though she's been through it before with her daughter).

At least on here she has some kind of support mechanism where she can sound off and write down plans and ideas, she can be proactive.

I'm sure she'll be running round like she's on speed very soon when/if she gets to the "nesting" stage. My friend was lol! On the day her baby was due she was up a ladder painting the ceiling! She washed all the curtains in the house and cleaned it from top to bottom! She was crazy! She went into labour a day or two later.

Casr, please don't worry too much about your finances but equally please don't bury your head in the sand. You've taken the biggest step so far in having your lightbulb moment and realising you have to do something, if you put it off now, when will you come back to us?

Take care and hugs.

Poo

CASR25

Still going to stay on, do agree with Poo - its making me feel better knowing we're not the only ones and there is hopefully something we can do! My husband is helping me write these posts - were in it together. Im hoping the sorting out of our money is part of nesting!!!!

Thanks to you all - looking forward to hearing everyone's advice!!!