Selling my house

debpeb

The ex has messed me about since day one - hence being my ex. He has reduced the price constantly to try and get a sale as he doesn't want to keep paying the mortgage on the house but he doesn't want me living here even though i'm main carer to our children. I did ask him to reduce the price even more but ended up getting a load of abuse, shouting and threats so I backed down. He wanted me to reduce what I got settlement wise but i'm the one who will be providing a home for his children as well as paying for their upkeep. If I was in his position personally, i'd go for the quick sale and worry about the debts later. He's in a position where he's living with his fiancee so he hasn't got to worry about paying off mortgages there etc. he just wants the cash to spend on what i'd call luxuries - holidays and new stuff.

debpeb

stokesley wrote: »

Hear hear. The OP is in the house, I imagine with no real incentive to sell, except to get it over and done with. The ex is (presumably) renting, and debt-laden. The house, as at 1520 on 27 August, is worth £163,000, assuming that this prospective purchaser is still around. The EA wants his commission.

Set up a meeting between the three of you - little tip: my OH once persuaded an EA to chip in out of his commission when there was a shortfall years ago - it involved nothing harder than a couple of hours in the pub to thrash it out. The way things are going at the moment, no-one is going to get anything, and the only winner is you, perched in the property...

Can I just point out that i'm not a winner at all in all of this. This time last year I was ready to move out of the marital home with the children (due to him cheating, lying and being abusive) and he told me he was happy to stay there and buy me out. The next thing I knew he had someone else, went to live with them and now will only pay £400 a month towards the house, bills and the cost of his children. He refuses to go halves on all the bills and instead goes round telling everyone i'm living here rent free, when in fact the truth of the matter is I pay quite a few bills, AND all costs for his children which he sees all of 52 days a year! So please do not tell me I have no incentive to sell and i'm winning in all of this as i'm the one who is now in debt because he pays as little as possible while saying i'm living here rent-free.

Also, he has landed on his feet and is now living in a nice little house near mortgage free, can afford holidays abroad, nights out etc. and is happy to laugh at the situation i'm in due to the fact I would no longer put up with his cheating, lying and verbal and physical abuse.

stokesley

debpeb wrote: »

Can I just point out that i'm not a winner at all in all of this. This time last year I was ready to move out of the marital home with the children (due to him cheating, lying and being abusive) and he told me he was happy to stay there and buy me out. The next thing I knew he had someone else, went to live with them and now will only pay £400 a month towards the house, bills and the cost of his children. He refuses to go halves on all the bills and instead goes round telling everyone i'm living here rent free, when in fact the truth of the matter is I pay quite a few bills, AND all costs for his children which he sees all of 52 days a year! So please do not tell me I have no incentive to sell and i'm winning in all of this as i'm the one who is now in debt because he pays as little as possible while saying i'm living here rent-free.

Also, he has landed on his feet and is now living in a nice little house near mortgage free, can afford holidays abroad, nights out etc. and is happy to laugh at the situation i'm in due to the fact I would no longer put up with his cheating, lying and verbal and physical abuse.

Hey, apologies for any misunderstanding; I was simply trying to point out that you may hold most of the cards here - I'm female, so am, naturally, on your side. Completely off topic, but I trust you've seen a solicitor to deal with financial matters/abuse.

I'm now a tad baffled as to whether he wants to lower or raise the price of the house, though.

All the best, and I hope everything works out for you.

pimento

I'd deliver his children to his fiancee's house and tell them that he will be looking after them from now on. That should focus his mind a bit.

debpeb

stokesley wrote: »

Hey, apologies for any misunderstanding; I was simply trying to point out that you may hold most of the cards here - I'm female, so am, naturally, on your side. Completely off topic, but I trust you've seen a solicitor to deal with financial matters/abuse.

I'm now a tad baffled as to whether he wants to lower or raise the price of the house, though.

All the best, and I hope everything works out for you.

Thanks. I get the impression that because of what he's told people that people do think i'm milking the situation etc. when the real truth is that i'm the one pushing to leave and he's put obstacle upon obstacle in my way to stop me - though to be fair this time the buyer pulling out wasn't his fault. I honestly think it's the fact that once we leave the marital home he'll have no control over me and despite him (and me) moving on he still wants that little bit of control and will not really move on adjusting the price as it suits him just as things are in a way.

I'm running into debt to pay for the bringing up of my children, I don't have spare cash to waste on fees only to find I get nothing out of it all, but despite all of this I know I have the respect of my children who have been absolute darlings through all of this, and I know money couldn't buy that :j

Lol, as for Pimento suggesting I take the boys over there to stay? No chance. Good idea but I couldn't live with it as I know they're quite fearful of his temper and although they're quite happy to sleep at his every couple of weeks or so, they have told me they feel they always have to be on their best behaviour incase he shouts at them. I know i'd spend more time worrying about them being there so i'd rather have the debt and have them here knowing they're happy.

debpeb

Had 2 viewers put in offers for £170k at the weekend!!! Typical isn't it! Fingers crossed now :-)

barnaby-bear

debpeb wrote: »

Some of them see the details of the house on paper, come round then pick faults with the kitchen (they've seen the pictures on the details), say the rooms are too small (the sizes are on the details too) and I feel after 8 months I can't take much more :-(

when people say too small - what they usually mean is too small for the price....