My mother died on Tuesday...........

booklover

Hello

My mother died on Tuesday; it was so sad and i feel numb and don't know what to do.

She died from heart failure and kidney infection. Thankfully we were with her for the before she died. it was so hard to watch her in pain and with severe breathing difficulties..

She owned her own home and has some money ( a few thousand). I have 2 sisters and don't know where everything is kept..

She lived alone but we visited her everyday. She had a will, so i contact the solicitor on Monday to find out about that. I don't understand probate.

Also, do we continue to pay for everything eg. her bills, eg phone, and the funeral which was yesterday which will be about 3k

I am so numb and confused about everything.

I just want my mother back again but not suffering.


Fiona

wannabepennypincher

I don't know really know how to help but couldn't read and run.

Sorry to hear about your loss, thinking of you and you family at what must be a difficult time.

Hopefully someone will come along and help you out ((hug))

Francesanne

Fiona, I'm so so very sorry to hear about your Mum and I can imagine how you're feeling. There's nothing I can say to ease the pain of losing someone you love very much. My Mum got taken into hospital very suddenly and we were sick with worry but thankfully she's over the worst. We all know that we're going to lose our parents at some point but that doesn't help ease the pain of loss. It's very early days yet and you're still in shock. Get together with your sisters and deal with all the formalties together and you'll have each other for support. You're going to be kept busy for the next couple of weeks and that actually helps keep you sane but you need time to grieve and don't feeling guilty for letting your feelings out. Take good care of yourself. xxx

ailuro2

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=344578

this is the sticky from the top of the forum - it's what to do when a partner/spouse dies, but some of the info you require should be there.

andygb

Fiona,
Very sorry to hear about your loss. I think that you have done the right thing by posting on here. There is bound to be someone who can help you out, by pointing you in the right direction. Sometimes when things like this happen, it is not easy to think clearly, there are just too many emotions clouding the issues.
You should also stay close to your sisters, and think if there is anyone close to the family, who you trust, who can maybe help you or give you advice.
As far as the household bills go, yes they will have to be paid, but try to get a system running to ensure nothing is forgotten. You will have to find out about bank accounts, pension and any insurances which may have existed, and also about any outstanding debts which may have to be paid.
I hope that you get it all sorted out, and remember, it is better to share these things in order to lessen the burden.

Andy.

Oldernotwiser

You need to find out who she's apponted as executor (it might not be the solicitor) as that will be the person who's now responsible for her affairs. If the death hasn't been registered yet be sure to get several copies of the death certificate as many organisations will need one.

booklover

thanks so much everyone; you are very kind and helpful.

I phoned the solicitor and it seems that we three sisters are the executors. My youngest sister was closest to my mother having lived with until 8 yeas ago ( I left home to get married at 21, which is 25 years ago ).

My sister visited my mother almost every day and did so much for my mother,. I visited about three times a week. Fortunately we all live close to each other and my mother, only 5 minutes by car.

My sister told me that my mother had no debts, ( I would have been very surprised if she had any.)

But we cant find some important documents eg, insurace poliies and bank books...

When will we have to pay for the funeral as i think it will cost about 2.5k, plus we have had other related expenses?

We ae so confused and dont know who to turn to>>>

I miss my mother so much..........


Fiona xx

Oldernotwiser

It isn't usually complicated to be an executor, particularly when there's more than one person to do it. Many people find that keeping busy doing things at this time can actually behelpful.

Many funeral directors will allow you to pay for the funeral when the estate is settled or any money paid out can be reimbursed lare as long as receipts are kept.

You'll need to open a special account to pay money in and out and usually do this with your mother's own bank. Obviously you mustn't draw money out of her own personal account as this will need to be closed immediately. You can also decide whether all the sisters act together or whether you decide that only one of you will act.

racer256

Just wanted to send you big hugs I would be lost without my mother so I can not possibly try to understand your loss. I want to send you and your family all of my love xx

simpywimpy

the funeral director will give you a week or two to get yourself together before he sends the bill. They are usually very sympathetic and if you explain you are waiting for some docs they won't mind hanging on for payment or will even arrange a payment plan.

Just one call to the benefits agency will stop all benefits she may have been receiving.

You arent responsible for any of her debts personally though they should be settled from the estat ie house proceeds or savings.

There is no rush to go through probate and if you feel up to it, you can get the form online and do it yourself if its straight forward. It might save you some money on solicitors fees.

Im so sorry for your loss. It does get easier to live with. Focus on the positives in that you were with her at the end and that she is now free from pain and ill health.

Best wishes xx