Phobia help

michelefauk

I hope someone can help me. For some years now I have had a huge phobia about bridges, driving over them in particular. I am not scared of heights nor of water, but driving over a bridge or any type of flyover makes me feel sick. I see the edge and just have this irrational complete terror that i am going to go over the edge. Normally I can keep this under control, but yesterday it came to a head. I had driven over the Severn Bridge to take my DD1 to Cardiff airport (wasnt too bad driving over although I was shaking somewhat and had to take deep breaths) but on the way back as soon as I started thinking about the bridge I completely lost it. I had to pull over and phone my other half who was at work and I was practically hysterical on the phone, the thought of driving over the bridge was almost making me pass out in fear, I can only describe it as completely paralysed with fear, i was shaking, my teeth were chattering and I was crying my eyes out. In the end my poor OH had to drive home from work, then get the train to Wales to come and get me and drive me home. I felt so ridiculous, he was fine about it as he knows what I am like about bridges but I feel so ridiculous today. I am not scared of many things and would say I am a strong person in all other respects and I really dont want this fear to take over me.
I will always have to visit Wales as that is where my OHs family live, but how do i get over this all consuming feeling of terror? I dont remember when it started, just that it has been there for years.
Is it possible to be cured of this type of phobia? WOuld my GP be able to help? Someone suggested hypnotherapy, but would this be very costly?

elsien

You could ask your GP to refer you for cognitive behavioural therapy. I think that has a fair success rate for the phobia/anxiety type attacks you've been having.
The only thing is that I'm not sure how widely available it is at the moment and there may be a bit of a waiting list. I'd suggest your GP as a starting point anyway before you start paying out for things that may or may not work.
In the meantime, are there any support groups near you that you could hook up with? They may be able to offer some practical suggestions.

neveah

oh you poor thing ,big hugs ...i live just by that bridge ....i a kinda in your position i am having counselling and medication for anxiety and panic attacks and for a long time put off seeing my gp because i felt silly ..i had to get off rides in theme parks and aeroplanes and last night i was like you described over a spider ...its awfull and you know it's irrational but it can't be helped but your gp will help you
pm me if you want to talk and take care xx neveah

taliwillow

Hi,

I have a very similar problem to you, just that mine is with stairs or anything else that involves me being off the ground and large machinery (which sounds very strange i know) such as aeroplanes, tanks, factories with things that are taller than me in them. I think you are very lucky to have such an understanding partner as my husband gets really annoyed about the impact it has on our life as he doesn't get it at all.

I have tried hypnotherapy but it didn't work for me but everyone is different. I have also had cognitive behavioural therapy and it has helped quite a bit. I'm most certainly not better, but I manage to control things a little bit more although my phobia hasn't been tested for a while as I tend to stick with places I am familiar with due to the fear of having a panic attack and embarrasing myself if I came across stairs that i wasn't comfortable with.

It is really hard for people who haven't experienced such an irrational fear to understand but it is so so real when it's happening and then you feel like a fool afterwards. I hope you can somehow improve the situation and if you want to PM me then please do.

Taliwillow

paddy's_mum

Poor you .. but you are not alone.

What is the focus of the fear? Fear of falling? Of drowning, if you go off the bridge? Fear of being trapped, perhaps in the car? Fear of death? Of losing control? Fear for the well-being of any of your children who are alongside you?

Putting your finger on what exactly you are afraid of may help you to deal with it. It's not a happy situation, is it?

squirrelchops

I fully appreciate how you feel. We were in France a few days ago and I decided to have a go at the driving so iwasn't scared of driving abroad and it is useful in case of an emergency.

Anyway, on the autoroute the speed slowd to 90kph and ti went to 1 lane. I wondered why and realised when i saw the word 'viaduct' leap out at me. i was so scared i said to OH....'pleae talk to me about anything'......he started asking me how to bake a cake. i gripped that wheel so hard and could feel my body going into shock. After i was shaky but continued.

However, about 20 minutes later i saw the words 'viaduct' again. I screamed 'i can't do this' and pulled over to the side of the motorway. OH had to direct me to pull up handbrake, get into neutral as i just froze. I cried and everything but then felt a wally as going over the viaduct I felt fine looiking down but OH did day it wasn't so high.

However, every bridge or flyover we came to i began to feel anxious. It has completely spoiled the good feeling I had about being able to drive abroad.

That night when i went to bed I woke up and couldnt get back to sleep. Every time I shut my eyes all I saw infront of me was a viaduct sign and felt the impending panic.

michelefauk

Thank you for all your replies, and it is comforting to know I am not alone!
Elsien, I am going to ring my GP this morning and make an appointment for next week, I am not sure about any support groups in my area but hopefully the GP might know.

Neveah, that bridge is definately the worst for me, maybe because I have to go over it fairly often as my partner is from Wales and we visit his family quite often, normally he drives which is a shame as often he would like to have a drink with his dad when we are there and he can't as he has to drive back, I always keep my eyes firmly shut when I am a passenger!

Taliwillow, can you tell me a bit more about the CBT? PM if you would rather. My partner is great about it, thank goodness, and my older children (they are 17 and 15) just think it is funny! Although my youngest who is 4 was very upset at the state I was in on Tuesday, quite rightly so as it is not nice to see your mummy crying and I am determined not to let that happen again.

Paddy's mum, I really don't know what the focus of the fear is. I am not scared of water as I am a strong swimmer and besides, it is the same if I am going over a flyover with roads beneath me or driving around the side of a cliff, just sheer terror that I am going to drive over the edge somehow, as I am approaching the situation I can feel myself driving slower and slower until I want to stop, on Tuesday when I was trying to force myself to do it, I knew that I would get half way across the bridge and get slower and slower then stop and not be able to go on, the thought of being stationary on bridge is just as bad as driving over it. I have no idea where it comes from, my mum and dad cant shed any light on it, so it is not as though something happened when I was little that I have forgotten about. I can go on the roof, in the loft etc so i am not scared of heights, am ok about flying in a plane, I dont like rollercoasters but they dont summon up those feelings of terror, I just dont like them. It is so hard to describe what frightens me exactly, if I shut my eyes I can just see myself going over the edge. I know it doesn't make any sense. I am a sensible, normal woman who isnt scared of spiders or many other things, just this!

Squirrel chops, that sounds dreadful, poor you. I so know how you must have felt. May partner always says he would love to take me driving down to the Florida Keys, but I think it would be my idea of hell, just one long bridge!

Thank you all for not thinking I am insane, and it is nice to know i am not the only one x

alared

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/index.php

One thing you can do right now is to sign up for this free course.
Where you`ll find excellent advice and help,but look especially for the audio recording that teaches you to relax and how to control your breathing.
There`s also info about CBT.
The sooner you start the better you`ll feel.
You`re not alone,everyone`s got a fear of something,Ms Alared jumps a mile high and screams at the sight of the tiniest spider.

I don`t mind them,especially MONEY spiders.

michelefauk

Thank you so much for that, will take a look

belfastgirl23

I had hypnotherapy for fear of flying (well prob more so a fear of enclosed spaces really) and it worked pretty well for me...might be worth a go. I had three sessions at a cost of about £250. I'm now a bit uncomfortable about flying but nowhere near what I was before..

And don't feel you're alone with it, it's surprising when you get talking to people how many of them have phobias...

poppyolivia

oh no thats awful!!...My husband is the same but not as bad...no matter of the weather if we have to go over a bridge we have to put the windows up and his knuckles are white while driving.

My son whos 4 is terrified if ceilings...if they aren't flat he freaks out but at only certain ones..we went into an asda while on holiday and he seriously couldn't move he was begging for help...I tried to lift him up but he went balistic, he kept repeating that his feet had to be on the ground...people were staring but I'm getting used to it now...its more if they are tall ceilings with metal...he says he feels dizzy and is going to fall but needs to stand...

I think everyone has a phobia to some extend but yours sounds pretty bad and I hope you get all the help you need, good luck xx