KP's Another year older another year wiser?

Keeping_Positive

Dont worry I stopped that. Other than the 35 ebay fee mixup I stopped lending a few months ago which is why its bugging me know - limited patience!

Hard to be tough when she is on the phone saying work have mucked up, tax credits as well due to son going into sixth form. I dropped the hint that Im skint so she knows she needsto start paying. Illsee what I get today plus I have printed oof two sheets showing whats due for us to fill in each time. I hope that will focus her.

Cant see that Im doing too much been off a week ish already and done ....eeerrrr... not much . Dont worry mybody tellsme too easily if Ive done to much

hypno06

But your friend's tax credits and work pay issues are HER problem that SHE needs to sort out.....you have your OWN issues that YOU have to deal with.

It sounds harsh, but you HAVE to stop completely lending her money, no matter how hard it may be for you to see her struggle - she will soon find a way to work round her lack of money, whether that is being more organised, not spending so much, or finding ways of earning more.......

She has to have her own lightbulb moment, and while you are still either lending her money, or allowing her not to repay you what she owes, her attitude will not change.

Tough love is what you need to provide x

Keeping_Positive

I have stopped it was supoosed to be a temporary thing just the sob stories kept coming. I wont lend her anything now. It was when I had my bonus soI said I could lend a bit until my holiday in July. She is still a friend although I am wary so nothing more than the odd free favour which she does repay.

Keeping_Positive

Valued opinions just given me a survey that should earn £2.The one I did the other day for 50-150 has disappearred :mad:

Jo_R_2

Agree KP that you need to be firm with your friend. Am I right in remembering she hit hard times and you wanted to help out? You are a good friend to want to help but don't do it at the expense of yourself

I always think of the saying "people treat you as you allow them to". I don't think she is deliberately avoiding it but I think you may be giving out signals that it is okay, or that you aren't that bothered and she is taking advantage of that. Talk to her like you expect her to start repaying the money and talk of definite dates and amounts - in a nice way (as I'm sure you would!) Could you even pin her down to a standing order maybe, or say you will pop round on x day and time when she gets paid for a cuppa and chat and to pick up £x - that way it's all friendly but she knows you are expecting it.

shaun40400

:hello:KP,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:cool:

Keeping_Positive

Hello Shaun :easter_os & Hypno :wave:

No news on friend front but not to fussed right now. Shopping came in at £61.37 :j almost 7 less than I thought. £2 to DD1 for youthclub last night and £2 to DD2 for pocket money - was to be 3 but deducted a £ for the big tidy up strop the other day. She has done well since by washing up some plastic cups and drying up a few times .

taxi73

Sorry to hear that friend didn't pay you back...I agree totally with everything Hypno said.
That's great that the shopping came in £7 under.
I'm a geat believer that kids should do jobs for their pocket money.It never did my lot any harm.

Keeping_Positive

Found out just before dinner that DD2 spent the £2 this morning at the shops on sweets :mad:. Gave her a good telling off for that. I know she shared them with a friend but thats still too many sweets.

Friend has paid £35 so going to pay that off the MBNA card. Bal should be £835-15.50-35 = 784.50 with 25 dd due on the 3rd Sept. Would like to get that as close to nil as possible in the next few months think the 4.9% runs out in Dec.

Tesco have upped interest to 19.9% but no probs dont pay interest on that. Will be more vigilant though just incase. Bank does same day transfer so I tend to pay the same day I spend.

beanielou

I do that with my Tesco card too mosat of the time KP.