Feeling like a spare part

Need_chocolate

Is it just me, or do a lot of moms feel like this with the in laws.

My daughter is nearly 3 and myself and her father have spilt up once but we have since got back together.

But ever since she was born and before I feel like a spare part, all they want is my daughter and their son. When I was pregnant they told me to get rid and somewhat in my mind, I have never been able to forgive them, my partner did stop speaking to them but as soon as my daughter was born, they came round.

I never ask them to watch her, nor have they offerred the one time they did watch her, his sister made out as if I owed them, and yes although I was very grateful I didnt feel in my mind that I should be grateful but that she was their grandchild, it was like they were doing me a favour and not that they wanted to watch her.

THey do have a lovely relationship with my daughter which is nice to , its just Im fed up of constantly taking her to visit when they don't even bother with me when Im there.

Its silly things like they live literally up the road, and I take her to see them yet in 3 years theyve only been to see her once, only because Ive stopped taking her to visit, my partner( their son) does it now,but as he works in the week, he sees weekend as his time with her, so rarely takes her up there.

Recently my partner got a text off his mum to say , could he bring my daughter to their house as her friend was coming over and she would like to see her.

Am I being silly but I was quite hurt, it was like she only wants my daughter to show her off, but really doesnt bother with her else wise.

Sorry for rambling, but this has been hurting me and my partner thinks im over reacting.

Laura

flippin36

Hi Need Chocolate

You are not over reacting. I have had the exact same problem as you and it is very hurtful. I have never been excepted into my in laws (because of religion) and I have taken grandchildren for weekly visits and no one has spoken word to me but "hello" and "goodbye". I would get frustrated that my OH would just laugh it off as his family being "a bit odd", but it would eat away at me so I couldn't think straight, wondering what was wrong with me?

Anyway all I can say is it got easier as time went on. I stopped trying to make the relationship work and just accepted thats the way it has to be. No point in hitting your head against a brick wall. And in fact with time they seem to have warmed a little towards me (but I don't visit very often), I think they have excepted that I am not going to disappear into thin air and accepted who I am.

Give it time and don't try too hard. The hurt will lessen in time. Hope that is of some help.

welshmoneylover

You're lucky in one way they wish to see their GD, my mother won't have any of her GC in her house at all, nor her GGD, *miserable cow*

I can't wait to be a nanny, I'm going to have each and everyone of them in my house all the time!