I think I am big in trouble-call to national debtline

dollparts

I've been all this forum this week, have had a lot of my queries answered (thanks everyone)

I had a few issues that popped up today so thought I'd give the Nat. debtline a call. Aside from the fact that it wasn't what I expected (they did the talking and asking q's and I just answered)

I thought I had most things clear and have paved the way forward regarding BR.

It seems I was wrong. And worst still I could be in trouble with OR if it ever gets that far.

There are three things that have ocurred to me tonight that I'm absolutely terrified about now

1) I was slightly ticked off by the advisor from NDL for falling behind with mortgage whilst still managing to pay DMP with CCCS.

2) I have still got soon2be exhb's debts on my DMP (originally set up in joint names) so have in fact been paying his debts as well as my own and could've been reducing my own debt faster.

3) I am ashamed to admit but have used credit as recent as 4ish weeks ago to buy daughter's school uniform and shoes. I also bought a winter coat for myself because last years one was wrecked and I got it in a sale.

This is not an excuse, please don't think that but the truth of the matter is I was just rolling from one month to the next paying the minimums on everything. I suppose I would say that I didn't consider myself to be in serious debt because I was managing to pay each month and not fall behind. I have a payment arrangement in place with mortgage lender and have been keeping up to date with that. Still have arrears mounting up but they are being good about it so far. So all in all, the bells didn't ring and I lived in hope ex would find work and start paying again.

Furthermore, I have to confess that when we set up the DMP I only included debts that we were behind with (I didn't 'get' that it all had to be included-especially as we were only behind with certain things) Therefore I continued to use credit alongside paying my DMP. Yes, I know it's a mess and I have been incredibly foolish, ignorant and shortsighted.

I can hand on heart say that I have only considered BR in the last week. This was brought about when I discovered that my mortgage lender would not consider splitting the shortfall between me and ex when our home is sold (in neg equity approx 40k). He's not worked since April, not contributed in 2 months and has paid no maintenance for our daughter. I spoke to CCCS last week and they told me BR was my only viable option and to call them if I needed help etc.

I'm now frantic my BR won't be granted because I have used credit so recently and unsecured debts have been paid whilst mortgage has fallen behind.

Just as I have adjusted to the idea of BR and it's consequences I realise I may not even be 'good enough' for them either.

If I am refused BR, I think I will crack up.

I'm not playing the sympathy card here but I've had my fair share of crap to deal with in the past 2 years (hb walked out-he was unfaithful) I've had major surgery for a brain condition and I suffer with anxiety, prone to depression and have major sleep issues.

I'm not offering excuses here. I'm woman enough to hold my hands up and tell all what a fool I've been.

Please, can someone honestly tell me if what I have discussed here is seriously going to give me problems being granted BR? I've been throwing up all night with the worry. I thought I had made inroads this week in finding a permanent solution- I can wear losing my home, my financial liberty but I fear I'm losing my mind now too.

So_Sad_Angel

dollparts wrote: »

I'm not offering excuses here. I'm woman enough to hold my hands up and tell all what a fool I've been.

Honey...I have said this many times on here but `you are where you are`

We all make mistakes whilst thinking we are doing things for the best. My exOh (of 27 years) has refused responsibility for the mess he has caused & I have been frantically trying to do whatever I can to pull myself out of the mess he has left me & the kids in !!

If BR is the way forward then so be it. Bite the bullet & move on. I know there will be a few people reading my post & thinking....`yeah but she is`nt BR yet`....but I will be soon enough.;)

Hold it together Sweetheart ....the OR appreciates that we all do stuff just to keep afloat sometimes. If you need to chat just PM me.

Angiexx

damoandclaire

So Sad Angel has hit the nail on the head there.

There would have to be some fairly have to be good arguments for them not to grant you your bankruptcy and quite honestly, I've not heard of it not being granted myself. Specially if you're doing it voluntarily and paying for it.

For me, it was a turning point in terms of getting my life back on track, being able to concentrate on my family rather than money worries. I used credit as little as a month or so previous to me going bankrupt. The OR will not really be interested in how you got to where you got but more importantly, how you will go forward. The reasons are all put in place on the BR forms and I'm sure theres people on here (one in particular but can't remember the name) that will help you out with that.

Please don't worry any further about this. The whole process is very short (in most cases - certainly was mine) and the OR are very good at what they do and more often than not, are very nice to deal with - they are always willing to help.

I'll second SSA, PM me if you have any questions or just wanna talk about it

MicheH

Hi, I'm just going through the early stages of BR myself (and DH) but wanted to tell you about our experience with OR on BR order day. We spoke to him about our current accounts, we had a short discussion about the fact that we HAD to use credit card for family's food a couple of times right before BR. I'm talking £40 a week for a family of 4 (inc. a baby) so it's not like we're taking the mickey. We were concerned because the amont that was on forms we submitted was not what we owed and were desperate at the OR thinking we had stolen the money so to speak because we knew we were going bankrupt. I'm still worrying about this it was a whole month from submitting the forms to waiting for a BR date, thats a long time when you havn't spare cash for feeding a family. He said not to worry and talk about it more in the interview. It put my mind at ease somewhat but I still worry simply because I feel like i've stolen. I guess the OR can sniff out a real cheat and we're not one, we were simply trying to survive and I hope he'll understand.

God I hope he does

antarctica

Hi there, please don't worry.

You are not being told off for your behaviour. you made the best of a bad situation and did what you had to do to survive.

They will not deny you BR because you used credit recently, if so then I think a lot of them would never be granted! (including mine and OH's)

If you need to go BR then do it. It's not easy but it's a lot easier than what you're going through now.

A
x

antarctica

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

. I know there will be a few people reading my post & thinking....`yeah but she is`nt BR yet`....but I will be soon enough.;)

Not at all, you give great advice and support and obviously know your stuff.

:T

A
x

Tinytim

Dollparts, as others have said, we have all been there. We certainly used credit right up to the point of bankruptcy, including making sure that we had drawn out enough cash from our overdrafts and credit cards to feed the kids in the immediate aftermath. So far the OR hasn't said anything (I had a face to face interview) and even if he did, I wouldn't lose sleep over it. When it comes to choosing between creditors and your child, there would be very few who would critisise you for choosing your child, including the OR

If you are definitely going BR, you really shouldn't be paying anything to your mortgage or dmp, or any other debts, as all will be included in the BR (I think you said there is already a substantial shortfall on the mortgage, and you are going to be repo'd anyway).

The thing to remember in all this is that the OR is a civil servant who has a very specific task to do. He is not there to pass judgement, or even have an opinion on your actions. His job is to ensure that as much of your estate and income is distributed to your creditors, whilst making sure that you have sufficient left to maintain a sustainable standard of living. As part of this, he will look to see if there is any indication that you have deliberately tried to substantially worsen your creditors position, or tried to keep assets from them. Paying a lump sum off a loan to a family member, or selling a car for the fraction of its cost are the sort of things he is looking for - not whether or not your have bought school uniform & shoes

In practice, I do not think the OR delves into your finances in quite the depth we think they do. I do know that in their report to creditors, they ask the creditor whether they feel there has been any improper behavour - after telling them it is very unlikely there will be any distribution. I really can't see the credit card company bothering to make a fuss over your winter coat when they already know they won't get anything back anyway.

MicheH

Thanks for that Tinytim. Its great to read your words and put into perspective our high speed thoughts of worry. It's so easy to get railroaded into thinking we've behaved improper when we went/going BR because we just couldn't survive and had to borrow in the first place.

Thanks again

dollparts

You guys are all terrific. I could never have hoped to expect the kind of support I have received from people that know what they are talking about because they have been or are in the same situation.

Thanks for all your advice and support. I must admit the advisor from the national debtline scared the hell out of me-an example:

'ok, so based on what you have told me I am wondering why you have been paying your unsecured debts and not your mortgage? Surely someone would have advised you that you have made a big mistake there?'

I was beside myself then, and to make matters worse she stopped me mid-sentence saying it was 9pm and would have to cut the conversation short because they were closing!

I know that BR is my only option. I will accept any restrictions they place on me, move on and learn from it.

All I have to do is work out the finer details, find a place to rent and hope to hell NR hurry up and take the property from me. I say this because I need to claim HB and can't do that whilst I still legally own my own home.

Tinytim

dollparts wrote: »

'ok, so based on what you have told me I am wondering why you have been paying your unsecured debts and not your mortgage? Surely someone would have advised you that you have made a big mistake there?'
.

This is exactly the point. If you don't have anyone to advise you then you will not know that paying unsecured creditors ahead of secured ones is a mistake. There are thousands of people who pay unsecured creditors before secured, or even before things like council tax and utilities, simply on the basis that they are the ones who give the most harrassment.

It would seem that you may have been unlucky with the person you spoke to, as normally ND are very good; perhaps the fact it was 9 pm on a Friday had something to do with it You will not experience this sort of thing from the OR - they really arn't interested in making judgements.

debt_doctor

dollparts wrote: »

'ok, so based on what you have told me I am wondering why you have been paying your unsecured debts and not your mortgage? Surely someone would have advised you that you have made a big mistake there?'

Well you were ringing for advice wernt you ?

The adviser ought to keep her unhelpful opinion to herself.

You have done nothing that will affect your BR, were not perfect, we have to make difficult choices, many of which we have no control over anyway. All you have done is try to survive, no one will have a go at you for that.

Best,

DD