DH - head and sand....

jesster_2

Donedoingdebt wrote:

Emmzi, how could you? Male pride indeed! Seriously though it could be that he's well aware that he owes a frightening amount & he just doesn't want to face up to it yet. It's funny how owing say £40000 without being in control of it is very scary but owing the same amount when you've sorted out a definite plan of payment & feel in control, whilst not great, is a lot better. I never thought I'd look forward to my MBNA bill everymonth, but now as I see it coming down every month I can almost smile.

That's really true. Although I'm now living like a total tightwad, I strangely feel 'richer' because I know that I can genuinely afford to spend what I have allowed myself to spend. That's better than the vague worry that'd always be nagging the back of my head when i spent willy-nilly before!

rkh001

You are right. He is embarrassed and feels that at the age of nearly 50, he should have been sorted. But I try to help, not criticise or condemn.
Something I have to live with until such time that he faces it.

dottyanne

Keep trying to get through to him - youre a team at the end of the day, my Oh leaves me to do the finances on my own and never used to even pay attention if i was stressed about not having enough to cover bills - a few months ago I think i was ready for a nervous breakdown and just cracked under the pressure..........I tried to stay focused - printed out a SOA and handed it to him and left him to read it - since then altough things havent changed that much he seems to have a better perspective of where i'm coming from and I think it did me a world of good to stop hiding it and sharing the burden with him.............