I want a divorce

Valli

RickHoughton wrote: »

We have no assets, no house or anything worth a lot of money. We do have 2 children though
The only thing i stand to lose is some of my navy pension, but I've been told that I can get a financial disclaimer for her to sign to say she doesn't want any of it, which she has agreed to. Is that correct??
If I was to go through a solicitor I been told it could cost in the thousands, due to legal fee's etc.

If you and your wife mutually agree things it will be quicker and easier BUT your wife will be expected to be given a share in your pension especially if she has no pension provision of her own - otherwise, down the line she'll have nothing and rely on benefits so systems have been put in place to prevent this happening! You could go to mediation (try NCH) and they will help you come to an agreement - again courts LIKE you to go through the mediation process. You can get free half hour session with solicitors but tell them that's what you are looking for. Sit down and write down all assetts and debts then you know where you are starting from. Get a statement showing pension value from your pension provider.

You will both need solicitors. She will probably get legal aid for her part, you probably won't.

Reading between the lines it would appear that you think if she sues you for divorce she will have to pay; if you sue her for divorce (your words - 'she's in the wrong') you would have to pay. It doesn't work quite like that.

You can sue her for divorce on the grounds of adultery. She can sue you for irretrievable breakdown/unreasonable behaviour - but then she has to come up with reasons...or you can wait two years and go for two years separation with consent.

I sued my first husband for divorce on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour and costs were claimed from him.

iolanthe07

She's in the wrong.

Terms like 'innocent party' and 'guilty party' and 'he/she's in the wrong' aren't used any more because the courts realise that these sad events are rarely black and white.

janninew

RickHoughton wrote: »

Both kids are in school, and my house is rented through the navy. She gets various benefits, not sure what ones now, but we used to get WFTC and CB. We're not going to go through CSA. Is that a good idea though??

Kids are 8 and 6, both live with their mum, and yes I do pay for their upkeep.

We're kind of on friendly terms at the moment, only for the kids sake really.
As she's not working would it be better for her to apply for the divorce and claim legal aid, or for me to bite the bullet and shell out for it. She's in the wrong. Not sure if that makes any difference though.

Hi Op
If your wife isn't working and can get Legal Aid it would be cheaper for her to divorce you. You need to find a solicitor who does fixed fee divorces so you know exactly what you will be paying. My husband had an affair but he still divorced me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour! It wasn't pleasant, but if i had divorced him it would have cost me alot more than the 299.00 that i paid. At the end of the day the result is the same, we are now divorced.

This is my situation though and yours may be different because you have children. The next thing i think you should do is see a solicitor who offers a free half an hour. I did this when my husband first left just to get some intial advice. If you can both agree on things and not get to emotional (hard i know!) it will make things much cheaper and the divorce will go through much quicked.

Wishing you well!
Jannine

RickHoughton

Valli wrote: »

If you and your wife mutually agree things it will be quicker and easier BUT your wife will be expected to be given a share in your pension especially if she has no pension provision of her own - otherwise, down the line she'll have nothing and rely on benefits so systems have been put in place to prevent this happening! You could go to mediation (try NCH) and they will help you come to an agreement - again courts LIKE you to go through the mediation process. You can get free half hour session with solicitors but tell them that's what you are looking for. Sit down and write down all asetss and debts then you know where you are starting from. Get a statement showing pension value from your pension provider.

With my pension, its all determined on what rank/rate i leave the navy at, and how long i've been in for, if i do 22 years, and leave at PO, it will differ alot, from leaving at 25 years as a CPO. She's already said she won't touch it, but i just need that bit in writing. If she doesn't, do the courts take into account what her household income is??
And does the amount of time we've been divorced count? When it comes to claiming my pension, we'd have been divorced for around 14 years, (thats assuming I leave at 22 years) more if I stay in, if i get divorced this year. So will she still be entitled to any of it? Especially if she gets remarried.

Valli

The courts usually go for a pension sharing agreement...so they would look at the value now and work it from that. They won't take into account future contributions BTW. It might also make a difference if you have more than 11 years contributions so far.
As I say the idea of this is to make sure both parties have pension provision.

This would be a question for your solicitor, so write it down and ask for some of those free half hour interviews because you might NOT like the first solicitor you contact! Get some idea of costs too as they can vary considerably.. Does SHE have a pension? That will make a difference - not least because you're entitled to a share of hers...

janninew

RickHoughton wrote: »

With my pension, its all determined on what rank/rate i leave the navy at, and how long i've been in for, if i do 22 years, and leave at PO, it will differ alot, from leaving at 25 years as a CPO. She's already said she won't touch it, but i just need that bit in writing. If she doesn't, do the courts take into account what her household income is??
And does the amount of time we've been divorced count? When it comes to claiming my pension, we'd have been divorced for around 14 years, (thats assuming I leave at 22 years) more if I stay in, if i get divorced this year. So will she still be entitled to any of it? Especially if she gets remarried.

Hi
My husband had a pension when we got divorced which i didn't want to take from him (i don't have one yet). We both had to sign a Consent Order which is drafted by your solicitors, this puts everything in writing. Mine contained what was happening to the house and who was taking what from the house. There is a section in it which states once its signed and agreed by a judge is final, neither of us can claim anything off each other in the future, even after death!!

This has to be agreed by a judge though (even if you both have agreed to it already!) If the judge feels something is unfair or one of the parties is getting a bad deal he may not agree to it. Mine was agreed to as i kept a bigger portion of the house and contents and he kept his pension and business.

Its quite complicated so get that appointment made!!

Jannine

vikkiharris

I didn't think you could get legal aid for divorce proceedings... My husband didn't consult solicitors when he divorced his first wife and did all the paperwork himself. They were able to agree on finances and maintenance for his son she relinquished any claim on his pension so there was no need to involve solicitors. It was much, much cheaper and a lot easier than he thought it would be.

Valli

you can get legal aid for divorce proceedings BUT
it's dependant on your income and the forms are complicated AND if you are granted legal aid you may be required to repay some or all of the legal aid out of any settlement you receive.

Incidentally OP hang on to all your bank statements, wage slips etc I had to provide a years worth with Form E...

RickHoughton

Looking on the internet, people are saying its pretty easy to get a cheap divorce without having to involve solicitors, but there isn't alot of information on how to do it lol.
Does anyone know how and where I start? I can't seem to find anything.

Valli

I'd toddle off down to your local library because there are books on DIY divorces..