Keeping house like my mum

pixieface_3

downshifter wrote: »

I remember seeing a discussion a while ago, I think it was on here, about how our mum's houses are always so clean and tidy, and I remember our house was always like that too when I was little, even when there were 4 children at home. My mum's house now is not only spotless but also tidy, no scuff marks on paint, well behaved garden, paperwork in order, no 'miscellaneous' boxes under the bed etc. I thought it was just because she doesn't have children around as much, or dogs, cats etc but she says that her philosophy now, at 82, is that anything could happen to her and she wants to ensure that she wouldn't feel ashamed if she had to go into hospital or even die unexpectedly (unlikely in the short term, she's healthier than the rest of the family put together!!), especially if strangers had to go through her stuff. So the house is clean, knicker drawer tidy, papers in order etc, the only thing she's kept are some love letters from my late father which she's made me promise to destroy without reading, which I will do. It's not clinical, still lived in. So I thought I'd look round my house with that philosophy in mind and wow, what a nightmare. I don't know where to start. I think my biggest problem is the 'miscellaneous' collection, I have misc drawers, misc boxfuls, misc shedful, misc everywhere. (Are these the same as hotspots?) While I can live with it, the thought of someone having to go through it all when I'm not here is scary.

So straight after work tonight I'm going to start, thinking of the most embarrassing things for others to find - probably actually emails and other computer things plus grey underwear drawer! My standards are far lower than my mums, or at least different, so I'm not likely to be shamed by the same things as her.

Has anyone else got anywhere else that would make them ashamed? I don't want a clinical, unlived in, pet and children - free house but talking to her did make me think.

DS

awwww bless your mum how sweet :A lol @ the grey underwear drawer thought there was only me what had one of them :eek: good luck wth the sorting x

Rockporkchop

downshifter wrote: »

... the only thing she's kept are some love letters from my late father which she's made me promise to destroy without reading, which I will do. DS

Oh what a shame she won't let you read the letters. I have got some old letters and a thank you card sent from my dad to my mum when I was born and it's one of my most treasured possessions.

I would love to live as your mum does, unfortunately my DH is a real hoarder and very messy. I would be mortified if anyone had to search through my house now.

downshifter

It's so nice to see how many people have been interested enough to reply to this thread, thank you. I was speaking to my mum tonight and asked how the house was clean and tidy when she had 4 kids running around. She said it wasn't, it was only my perception as a child that has slightly distorted my memory of it. Not sure that's true but as children we were all given jobs to do, certainly doing our own rooms and my parents attitude was that these had to be done, not like my attitude with my own kids ie if their rooms are a mess then that's up to them. We used to call my daughter's room a deep litter bedroom! She would blitz it then 2 days later it was ankle deep in clothes, magazines etc etc!

I was also so sad to read of people whose mother/parents don't keep a welcoming house (however dirty or untidy) - it's hard sometimes keeping good relationships with your children but I think it's worth working at, and having a home that they would want to visit is part of it, and having a home that they would feel happy about allowing their own children to visit is to me, so important too. I love it and feel flattered that my grandchildren like to come and stay.

As far as the love letters are concerned, no I wouldn't read them and they're not for public or private sharing. They're between her and my dad, they were madly in love until the day he died - far too young - and concern their relationship together just the 2 of them. Once when I was a teenager I read a letter he sent her - he often had to work away - and I was so shocked that parents would speak about such things!!! Def not for their children to read - far too personal!

Thanks all, - and for my part a large box of mags has gone to be recycled, and another large box of papers, old diaries and address books etc has been burnt. Made me feel really nostalgic to read some of the names and see some of the meetings, job evaluations etc I was involved with in my high flying career-minded days, but that was then before I became a.........
...........Downshifter

AlwaysHappy

What a great thread, sadly, I don't want a house like my Mums, it makes me shudder. We go and stay with her every month and every month its more of a challenge to escape the clutter. I ask her to sort it out but she says she will do it when she is ready.... My grandma died 15 years ago and her stuff has been in Mums house to go through all that time, Dad died 9 years ago and she still hasn't got rid of a single thing. The kitchen.... well, lets say I have refused to go into it for the last 10 years - if I did I wouldn't be able to eat anything, every surface is beyond cluttered, the cupboards are FULL and haven't been touched for over 20 years (no joke), I have tried everything to offer help, support, you name it but it only ends in Mum threatening not to see us again. I dread having to sort it out, but what do you do? I fight not to be like that though paperwork is my achilles heel, on the kitchen front though I am extremely organised, I have lists of my cupboards, freezer with expiry dates on etc, it must be my way of rebelling against my upbringing. Mum says she must have taken the wrong child home forty years ago!!!

Purse_String

My mum recently died and her house was full of stuff. She wasn't tidy and it has taken 4 months to go through it all.:eek: She kept everything and I wished she had been more organised as I feel it has stirred up endless memories thus making the grieving process harder. It also cost a fair bit in petrol to call at the house and take stuff to the tip (a lot of it was rubbish) at a time when I was watching the pennies. I had previously been reorganising my own house when my mum died so its felt as if I've been doing this all year! I decided in my teens that because my mum was untidy, my house was going to be more organised. Its has also now made me realise that I don't want my family to go through what I've been through. So I say to those people out there, persevere, it takes time and its worth it.

miserly_mum

AlwaysHappy wrote: »

What a great thread, sadly, I don't want a house like my Mums, it makes me shudder. We go and stay with her every month and every month its more of a challenge to escape the clutter. I ask her to sort it out but she says she will do it when she is ready.... My grandma died 15 years ago and her stuff has been in Mums house to go through all that time, Dad died 9 years ago and she still hasn't got rid of a single thing. The kitchen.... well, lets say I have refused to go into it for the last 10 years - if I did I wouldn't be able to eat anything, every surface is beyond cluttered, the cupboards are FULL and haven't been touched for over 20 years (no joke), I have tried everything to offer help, support, you name it but it only ends in Mum threatening not to see us again. I dread having to sort it out, but what do you do? I fight not to be like that though paperwork is my achilles heel, on the kitchen front though I am extremely organised, I have lists of my cupboards, freezer with expiry dates on etc, it must be my way of rebelling against my upbringing. Mum says she must have taken the wrong child home forty years ago!!!

Mum had a huge amount of "good clothes" hanging in various wardrobes around her house. She wore the same horrible manky old clothes day in and day out, including a loverly pair of navy cords that had been worn so often the corded bit had worn smooth.There were outfits she'd wore to relatives wedding 20 odd years before and hadn't been worn again. It really was such a waste

Anyway my now ex hubby and I got her very pi**ed one night (she could never say no to a free drink). In her sozzled state she actually agreed to get rid of some stuff and me and the kids managed to fill 5 black bags full of clothes for the charity shop.

The next time she went into the wardrobe she thought she'd been burgled :rotfl:

A bit extreme maybe but when she had to move a year or so later for health reasons there was a lot less crap to take with her

Mrs._Irwin

My Mum moved abroad last year and I've still got boxes of stuff in the garage I haven't been through. Some of it is stuff I thought she'd got rid of and there's my old school work that I know I told her to chuck years ago.
She's always been very clean and organised, but keeps everything.

LameWolf

pixieface wrote: »

awwww bless your mum how sweet :A lol @ the grey underwear drawer thought there was only me what had one of them :eek: good luck wth the sorting x

There's something to be said for only having black underwear imho.:D

Mrs._Irwin wrote: »

My Mum moved abroad last year and I've still got boxes of stuff in the garage I haven't been through. Some of it is stuff I thought she'd got rid of and there's my old school work that I know I told her to chuck years ago.
She's always been very clean and organised, but keeps everything.

I had a ceremonial bonfire with all my schoolwork pretty much the day after I left school.

celyn90

milann wrote: »

Scrapbooking has a lot to answer to in my house - I'm convinced the hobby turned into 'collecting the stash' rather than the making of the scrapbook. DD's old room has turned into my craft room - but I spend more time 'sorting' it than I do crafting in it

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Are you me??!! I have all of the underbed storage full of things like this! I don't craft as much as I should, sometimes I pull it all out, look at it, then put it back :rotfl:

Buttons are my failing. I have kilos of them .....but they are soooo shiny..... I keep telling OH that it's cheaper than handbags

Rebecca15

My parents have recently moved to a much smaller property, they had a good sort out before they left and got rid of everything!!! But I was gutted to find out they had chucked out all the photos bar a couple of me and my sister when we were little. I have no photos at all of me growing up to show my Daughter. I was very upset that although she has found room for boxes of shoes etc she threw away my past onto the tip. (Sorry sounding a bit bitter now).

Anyway my Mum has a fetish for cleaning and not one thing in her perfect house is out of place. It is her hobby and she loves it. When she comes to stay with me (kids, dogs etc) she says if she had to clean up the amount of dog hair that I have to do every day she would be suicidal!! When she comes to visit I move loads of my clutter into my neighbours house ( they use it for a holiday home and are not here much) so she dosen't start chucking stuff away.

R