Keeping house like my mum

fedupandskint

When I had a car accident earlier this year, I was off work for a few weeks and it gave me the time to sort out my paperwork. It took weeks and weeks to go through my carrier bags stuffed full of unopened letters. Eventually I got there and filied it all away in folders in the desk.

I will never get in the same position again and even tho I let the paperwork build up over a week or so i always file it away.

My nan's house was crammed to the rafters full of old paperwork, food, clothes etc. That took some clearing I can tell you. My mum is not so bad, I think I take more after my nan!

This year I have spent on decluttering through charity shop, ebay and freecycle. My new rule is do I need it, do I have something already that will do?
The spare roon is eventually looking more like a room instead of sull of bags and rubbish.

It just takes time to get there, it's a long battle for me and all the stuff that has gone - I haven't missed one bit. Makes me think I could get rid of many more things in this way - I don't think I would miss that many possessions really!

billy858

My daughter must have caught something from me because yesterday she totally blitzed her bedroom. Wardrobe, drawers and everything. It looks so nice now. Normally it's the stuff of nightmares and even I try to avoid it. It was never dirty but just had stuff everywhere so you couldn't really walk from one side to the other. I'm sure I slept better last night as a result!

mrsJeckyl

Wow, this thread is just what I need. Decided recently to have a proper declutter of my house as it is beginning to annoy me now. The problem is I am a hoarder and have come from a family of hoarders. My mum's house has so much stuff in it, its ridiculous. The problem is, she has always been a hoarder and my dad used to keep it under control, but since he died, no-one makes her throw things away regularly.

I agree about the amount of stuff people have these days. The amount of books/ cd's / DVD's / videos we have in the house which have't been watched etc in years is stupid, plus all the things we keep "Just in case" or "for best" and I wonder why my house is over run.

Sweetpeanut

smashed fish tank (I have scar from age 9 from this tank, where I stood on it in garden, not realising it was there). Rusty metal things. More stuff round side. More stuff going rotten, including furniture. Possible to see marks on wall where she pinned me to the wall and threw lighter fluid over me and then set fire to it.

Closer inspection of front room will probably reveal the metre long stick she used to wallop me and the dog with, along with the iron she used to tell me she would mark me with if I told anyone about anything that happened at home.

Before anyone tries to say something about her being ill and needing sympathy, forget it. She's always been like it. She came from a well to do family, had a good marriage. She had no reason to be so nasty. She even got a job for a while as a dinner lady at my school, !!!!!! - and they knew what she did to me. One of my brothers had been on the at risk register, but they did nothing about me - she convinced them that it was all a misunderstanding. She learned - every injury I had was patched up at home, including those needing stitches.

To me, there is no excuse for filth and dirt. I don't have a palace by any means. I will not spend all my time cleaning, when I would rather study or listen to my children's music practice. I only get the polish out about once a month or two. But my place is not dirty. If I go to a home like the place I grew up, I always wonder if they hide the same secrets as my mother did. I'll bet that a clean house is a rare thing for a social worker to step foot in when rescuing an abused child. Not unheard of, but less frequent than a hovel.

So, if you believe that it doesn't really matter what your home is like, and that everyone will just see you for the person you are - be warned.[/QUOTE]
Jo-jo your mother sounds like 1 evil, filthy B**CH!!!! she should be locked up. And your right she doe'snt deserve any ones sympathy, so glad you turned out to be a better person than her, xxx

L.L_2

mrsJeckyl wrote: »

Wow, this thread is just what I need. Decided recently to have a proper declutter of my house as it is beginning to annoy me now. The problem is I am a hoarder and have come from a family of hoarders. My mum's house has so much stuff in it, its ridiculous. The problem is, she has always been a hoarder and my dad used to keep it under control, but since he died, no-one makes her throw things away regularly.

I agree about the amount of stuff people have these days. The amount of books/ cd's / DVD's / videos we have in the house which have't been watched etc in years is stupid, plus all the things we keep "Just in case" or "for best" and I wonder why my house is over run.

Have an extremely ruthless car boot sale. Remember everything is going to be worth something to someone - I do this once a year and always get enough money to get a nice big food shop with treats!

Mojisola

We have a friend whose father was a hoarder. When the house filled up, he bought a shed. When the shed filled up, he bought another, and so on. When he died, she had a house and seven sheds to clear out!

Everything was carefully stored and labelled. He didn't have a problem; he just liked to preserve things in case they were needed again.

Can I put in a plea for future generations? Please don't put all your photos on digital media. Even if you only get a couple of dozen photos printed of significant events, labelled with the names of everyone present and dated, this will mean such a lot to your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Look on some of the family history sites and see how excited people get when they find photos of previous generations and you will see how important it is.

LameWolf

WASHER wrote: »

My goodness, I hope you didn't think I was being rude, that wasn't my intention to anyone on this board. Have you considered a metal filing cabinet if you have the room so you don't have to lift an A4 box file, I have a wooden one which my OH says is pretty useless in the case of fire as all the important documents would be destroyed, but its great no bending, I even got my mother in law one as she finds it difficult to bend. I think you can find these things on freecycle - just a thought, I too have a disability and I find life a wee bit frustrating sometimes, my friend recommended something to me a few years ago as I couldn't hear the phone ringing (complete deafness in one ear and only partial hearing in the other) and it makes life a little easier, although I wouldn't really class mine as a disability, it can have its advantages when the OH says something I don't want to listen too, I simply turn to the poor side and constantly ask him to repeat what he said, he generally gives up in the end:D


Alert - I have done 6 hours ironing today and its all done, my OH almost fell over when I told him. It actually wasn't that bad once I started it, I feel quite pleased with myself, I may treat myself to a large glass of Shiraz:D

Washer, no I didn't think you were being rude, don't worry.:o Unfortunately we have absolutely nowhere to put a filing cabinet; we have a tiny bungalow - which is why there's so much stuff on the spare room floor LOL.

I do hope that having posted the embarrassingly long list, I might be motivated to try and think of a way to improve the situation!:o

Redlady..... wrote: »

How long do most people keep utility bills and bank statements?

I keep them in the files I've spoken about for a year; then they get "archived" and Mr LW puts them in the loft...... and there they stay, because he doesn't throw things out, and I can't get into the loft.

When I first moved in with him (2002) I did make him clear the loft and throw out anything over 7 years old (he was self-employed at that time) but I'm pretty certain that nothing's been chucked in the way of paperwork since.

Hmmmm..... I feel a Major Task coming on...... LOL

mrsJeckyl

L.L wrote: »

Have an extremely ruthless car boot sale. Remember everything is going to be worth something to someone - I do this once a year and always get enough money to get a nice big food shop with treats!

I was planning on doing one this weekend, but ended up being ill instead....

Odette

Im 23 and I have just moved out from my family home, Im noticing increasingly that I am about twice as clean as my mum ever was. My mum hoardes, is untidy and never washes her hands after using the loo :eek:.
Now my home I share with my boyfriend is intensely clean, and organised (not as much as Id like - moving soon :rolleyes:). Its just a nicer place to be than my mothers too-crowded house, even with less room.

thriftyscotslass

OMG :eek: Keep house like my Mum - never in a million years :eek::eek::eek:. I never go into my Mum's house if I can help it - it is filthy, it is absolutely jam-packed full of cr*p and it stinks of cat, cat litter, damp and a seriously soap-shy woman :eek: She insists she is coping and refuses to move into sheltered accommodation..

The last time I had to visit, I was seriously thinking of paying someone to gut the house when she goes. Like Jojo, my brother and my childhood was less than ideal and I have no emotional attachment to anything in the house, certainly no wish to bring anything into my home :eek:.

As a result, I am very organised and my house is clean. It is a bit cluttered tho' and could do with a bit of thinning out. Funnily enough, I'd made a start last week wuth ds's and dd's rooms - so I'm up for some more decluttering and organising :T.