Told my son

So_Sad_Angel

Sorry to hear that MBDF....misconceptions of BR can be extreme.

Keep talking to her though....BR does not carry the stigma it used to...in fact hardly anyone notices these days.

Your Mum is still your Mum...whether you are BR or not!!

Angiexx

mustbedebtfree

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

Sorry to hear that MBDF....misconceptions of BR can be extreme.

Keep talking to her though....BR does not carry the stigma it used to...in fact hardly anyone notices these days.

Your Mum is still your Mum...whether you are BR or not!!

Angiexx

I'm hoping she'll calm down. I even tried to point her in the direction so she can read about people going through the same thing

So i have my fingers crossed, i didn't really need the extra stress but hey ho, mums will be mums

Richard_S

Hi Feelingfoolish,

I think you've definitely done the right thing. At that age there's not really any chance of hiding anything from them.

When we were facing the point of no return we waited until all our children were together and told them that we would in all probability be declared bankrupt within a couple of weeks.

There were a few probing questions, especially from the daughter who's a bank manager, but apart from that I think they were appreciative of us being honest with them.

With the benefit of hindsight, it hasn't made any difference to the "mechanics" of family life and when you think about it, honesty and being forthright has got to be the best option.

Best regards

Richard

Feelingfoolish_3

Thank you Richard, much appreciated, I believe in honesty and especially with my family, my son first of course and he has been lovely tonight

MBDF - I feel for you and hope your mum comes round

I spoke with my boss at work this week, had broached the subject many months ago as I wanted to check my job was safe, anyway as my decision is now made I put him in the picture, I feel ashamed as I feel I should know better with the job I do but stuff happens and he said he understands that I would feel like that as its normal but to understand that no-one would feel like that about me and he is right cos I would never point the finger at someone. Coming clean with people that matter in your life is refreshing and it releases one of the burdens we carry.
All the best x

seven-day-weekend

Feelingfoolish wrote: »

Hi

Decided to tell my son today that I am going bankrupt. He is 15.

I started off by asking him if he had heard of the word bankruptcy and if so did he know what it meant. He had heard of it but wasnt so sure, he thought it was when you didn't have enough money to pay your bills and that you might lose your stuff to the council - god bless him.

I explained very basically that it was when you did have enough money to pay the bills (gas, elec etc) but not enough money to pay your loans and credit cards. I also said that the only things the court not council was interested in was if you had a house or a car.

I then said that this was something that I was going to do this week but that our house should be safe but I couldnt promise however if we couldnt keep the house we could move into a relatives house (who is renting this out) and that it wasnt very far away and that I might not keep the car cos its worth £2k and they might need to sell it.

But I said that under no circumstances was he to worry, it isnt his fault and that I can pay the bills just not the debts and that they will be gone.

He was so good, he said would they come and take anything out of the house - he is thinking XBox, Telly etc I laughed and said no they take nothing out of the house. And then he said that probably lots of his mates parents might be doing this cos its happening all over at the moment isnt it. I could have kissed him except he wouldnt find that very funny!

So, need to keep an eye on him, made him promise to ask me any questions he might come up with.

Thanks for listening

x

Good on you for explaining things so carefully to him, and good on him for being so mature about it.

I have found that teenagers are pretty good about life-changing events if you treat them like young adults and explain what is happening

Wishing you well in your future.

Feelingfoolish_3

Thank you Seven, much appreciated, he's a good kid and also said they are learning about money at school which can only be good

Lost2

Erm I think I may be missing something here, but it's BR your
going it's not Cancer. The British still have a very strange attitude to wards Bankruptcy, as if you have some sort of disease, other country's don't think anything of it. I wonder why that is?
Myself I don't give a s*** it's nothing to do with anybody
when they start to keep me then they can make judgements about me till then they can butt out.:D

restofmylife

You sound like such a lovely Parent, I have two boys 10 & 13 and know where U are coming from - all the love and luck in the future xxx

peppa-pig

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

Told my Mum this week...dreaded it.

LoL all she said was...`go for it` & gave me a big hug....Mums are brilliant are`nt they?!

Angiexx

FF...well done...you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Hope my girls say that about me one day...

money_penny_26

talking of mums freaking out..tried to tell my mum 76.you would have thought i had just told her i was heading for the work house.we have been married col an i 35 years, her reply was. "i dont know lass havent you got on your feet yet? "poor mum not a hope of her understanding so i changed tack an told her it was a friend,to whom this is happening.told my son 23 years old he just said.cool