Little brothers Birthday money

TheEffect

I'm 18, work full time and live with my mum and older brother (20). My dad, step mum and two little brothers (3,4) live about 2 hours away and I get to visit them about once a month (I don't drive, and therefore get a coach to see them).

It's my little brothers 5th Birthday this weekend and I'm just about to get on a coach to go and see them all. I asked my dad what to get my little brother for his Birthday and he said don't worry about it, but you can get him a bell for his bike if you like.

I went and got him a bell for his bike, a big card and put £10 in the card for him, however I know that my dad and step mum are going to say 'Oh you didn't need to do that, you need your money, offer to give it back and will probably go on about it for the whole time I'm there.

I like treating my little brothers/family or friends when it's their Birthday, and it's not like I can't afford it. I just feel very awkward giving my little brothers, dad or step mum anything for Birthdays/Christmas or even buying them flowers or a bottle of wine when I visit, as they always tell me I shouldn't be spending my money on them and not to.

Anyone else have parents like this? I wish they'd just let me give/treat them to what I want and they not constantly try and give it back/tell me I shouldn't.

I know they really appreciate it. When it's my dads or step mums Birthday, I told them I'm taking them out for dinner (and paying for it), but they wont have any of it.

Stubborn parents can be very annoying!

I'm getting on the coach now, so I'll reply/read over some of your responses (I have a few hours to kill) :rotfl:

delain

buy the boy something wrap it up and give it to him, it's your choice, it's your money.

And it's always worth it to see the face light up on the day

Could you have spoken to him on the phone to ask what he wanted?

And it's lovely to see someone your age wanting to part with money for younger siblings, especially in a step family

Zazen999

As long as you treat both boys the same, then what's the problem?

I have 2 nieces and when it is one's birthday - both get presents but one gets a card with £ in it...i couldn't visit and only give a present to one niece.

Becles

Rather than the £10, could you take him to buy a gift? That way he gets the fun of picking something from the toy shop and you get to spend it.

Or you could take them on a special trip to a local attraction, or the cinema with pop and sweets, or somewhere like Wacky Warehouse where they can have a soft play then a meal.

Katie-Kat-Kins

I think it is the cash, they feel uncomfortable taking cash, I'd feel the same. Buy something or take him out, in addition to the bell buy him some toy cars (all little boys love cars and can never have too many!) or something else, or as someone else said take him somewhere fun.

Bear in mind that little kids don't understand or appreciate getting money, they enjoy wrapped presents.

If you turn up with a wrapped box they can't offer it back to you either!

stargate222

Do a 'pretend strop' and firmly tell your stubborn parents that you love them loads, they are special people who gave you a great upbringing and they are not to make you feel guilty about showing them all how much you love them. Then give them a hug!

Try it!

P.S. Get him a bell and some other bike bits like those things that go on the spokes

UKTigerlily

Aww you sound lovely! I can sympathise, I have only a few people to buy for (Mum & Stepdad, Dad, Nan & Brother) & my Mum & Nan will always say i'm *naughty* or shouldn't have etc & it takes the fun out of it cause I love buying for people & seeing them happy! I just say it's my money, I don't have kids or loads of nieces & nephews to buy for so why not spend slightly more on them? (Not hundreds, about £30 each)

It's kind've worse because my Mum & Stepdad have 16 nieces & nephews & a few great nieces & nephews & 4 kids, brothers & sisters (Stepdad has 5 siblings, Mum has 2) & so spend a fortune!

starbump

It's only natural for parents to want to give you money and avoid letting you pay for stuff. So long as they treat all 4 kids the same, I'm afraid you'll just have to put up with it and try racing them to the bill whenever you eat out. (A good trick is to pay the tab while they think you've gone to the toilets.)

Chinkle

Do they feel bad because they can't afford to reciprocate when its your birthday?

Maybe they just like to say that to show how grateful they are. How insistent are they when they ask you to take it back?

I think it's fab you both give gifts and take time out to see your much younger brothers.

bestpud

I think you should buy him something too but if not, how about a gift card instead, for a shop where he is bound to find something he likes?

Taking him out somewhere is a great idea as well.

picnic

why not offer to take him shopping for the afternoon. into a toy shop and tell him to pick.....