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Help scared and worried
Comments
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BeautyandtheBeast wrote: »I would just like to say that You cut your cloth to suit.
I would like to tell you that my shopping this week came in at £29.31. Thats 2 of us!! It can be done but you have to make you money work for you and start spotting the bargains.
I'm going shopping later, would usually spend £90-£100 so we'll see what I can do today!0 -
SkintNScared wrote: »I'm going shopping later, would usually spend £90-£100 so we'll see what I can do today!
please avoid M&S food hall - know their food is scrumptious but its not feasible any more.
as for your hair - what style have you got that it takes this much upkeep?
p.s - im not being mean but you need to think about this:
Do your friends (the girls, the lads at the golf course) know about you change in circumstances - because you need to be careful that you dont carry on with the pretence of everything being as it was when you were both in employment. You need to make cut backs and Haircuts should be one of the first things to go.
As i say im not being mean and i dont want to upset or hurt your feelings - i just think you might be doing yourself more damage by 'keeping up ith the neighbours' so to speak.O/S Debt: PL £[STRIKE]15207.34[/STRIKE] £9884.55; HSBC £4060.99; Tesco£1430.15; M&S £5990.17; Virgin [STRIKE]£5158.69[/STRIKE] £4210.14; Egg £4619.00; O/S = ££30,292.42 AIM - To Be Debt Free 56 months0 -
Even better - do not go shopping.
Open the cupboards, check the freezer and fridge.
Write a list of what is in each and then go over to the Old Style Money Saving forum and post up your list.
Try to live off the contents of these for a whole month, with small amounts of milk, bread and fresh vegetables.
Whilst you are there look at weezl's thread. That will give you a few ideas.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
SkintNScared wrote: »No PPI on the gym membership or golf club I'm afraid. I don't even think that was an option. Hubby has 9 months left to go on his membership.
Didn't see anything I liked for less than £1,200. There were a few things around the £1,000 region but probably not big enough for us.
I can't really not have my hair cut! It would go wild. I don't think I could get it much cheaper than £70 or if it was a little bit lower it wouldn't be really worth it?
Car wise, surely anything not new or nearly new will just cost a lot of money to repair when it goes wrong making it no cheaper than a new car??? The smallest decent car new will be about £10k which is not a lot in car terms, especially compared to what we have now.
You really have got your head in the clouds....... I'm not sure you are ready to face this and whether all the help people are offering is doing any good as at the moment all you are doing is chucking it back at everyone!
You don't NEED a nice or big house, you need a cheap roof, a one bed flat that you can afford to pay the rent on from your job seekers allowance. You won't pass the credit checks for a £1200 a month house anyway. LOWER YOUR SIGHTS
You don't NEED a hair cut either, who cares if your hair looks wild, the only place you are going is the dole office and the housing office - they don't care! Tie it back, or find a hairdressing college to do it for a tenner, that is what plenty of people do.
You are truely crazy if you think a new car is the answer. If you buy a £10k car new it will loose £2k the minute you drive it off the forecourt in pure depreciation. If you buy an 8 year old car with a years MOT for £1500 chances are it won't cost you anything in maintenance for a year an probably no more than a couple of hundred come MoT time. My DH has a 12 year old polo it has never cost more than £250 a year in repairs. Most servicing can be done yourself with a haynes manual from the library too if you buy an older car. Oh and get a 1L for fuel efficiency.
Seriously you need to give yourself a real talking to. You are heading for trouble and you are too blinded by materialistic goods to be able to see it.
Read the other boards on here you will soon see how little you can get by on of needs be. Sorry to be harsh but I think you need some one to come and shake you by the shoulders!0 -
SkintNScared wrote: »No PPI on the gym membership or golf club I'm afraid. I don't even think that was an option. Hubby has 9 months left to go on his membership.
Didn't see anything I liked for less than £1,200. There were a few things around the £1,000 region but probably not big enough for us.
I can't really not have my hair cut! It would go wild. I don't think I could get it much cheaper than £70 or if it was a little bit lower it wouldn't be really worth it?
Car wise, surely anything not new or nearly new will just cost a lot of money to repair when it goes wrong making it no cheaper than a new car??? The smallest decent car new will be about £10k which is not a lot in car terms, especially compared to what we have now.
I know this has probably come as a big shock to you and well done for being brave enough to post on here.
I have 4 kids and I feed myself and the kids on £40 per week, so it can be done, in really hard times I have fed us all for £30, luckily I am out of debt now so I can afford to spend a little more.
Housing benefit WILL NOT pay for you to live in a £1000 per month cottage. You can only afford a 1 bedroom flat and that is all you will get the money for. There is plenty room for two in a one bed flat.
Where are you going to find the money to buy a new 10k car? You simply cannot afford it. You cannot afford new, and you cannot afford 10k. There are plenty of good used small cars for less than 2k although not sure where you are going to find even 2k from. My last car was a nice little fiesta, full service history £1800, one owner low mileage, not a thing wrong with it in the time I owned it and passed its MOT no problems.
Haircuts is obviously a big issue for you. You can still have it cut, I pay £39 every 6-8 weeks at a hairdressers (and thats expensive for a lot of people).
I think you still havent truly had your lightbulb moment. I understand it is difficult to go from that kind of lifestyle to one we are all suggesting but you have no choice. Having looked at your SOA I see that even with a HUGE income you were still spending 2k more than you earnt each month, in a year that is 24k you were adding to your debt.
You can not afford £250 per month on entertainment. You cant really afford anything, but there are plenty on things to do that are free or very cheap.
I wish you the best of luck.November NSD's - 70 -
Go to the cupboards and fridge and freezer and write a list of everything that is in there;
Be truthful - post the contents on here or over on Old style board and im sure we can make a few meals up!!
Also Shop online rather than walking around - thats another way to cut your food bills (worked for me!)O/S Debt: PL £[STRIKE]15207.34[/STRIKE] £9884.55; HSBC £4060.99; Tesco£1430.15; M&S £5990.17; Virgin [STRIKE]£5158.69[/STRIKE] £4210.14; Egg £4619.00; O/S = ££30,292.42 AIM - To Be Debt Free 56 months0 -
as has already been said I don't think you have come to terms with what needs to be done.
You obviously move in high earning, high spending social circles, it can be very embarrassing to be the first one to say you can't afford it, but you may find your friends are also living above their means, which is what you have been doing for some considerable time to run up such large debts.
You can turn this round, the good things are you and your partner have both been high income earners, so hopefully the new jobs you get will also come with good salaries, don't know what your jobs were, but is it anything you can do freelance or on a self employed basis to get some money rolling in asap.
Only you can decide whether to follow the advice on here, but having the baliffs turn up at your door and remove your goods is much more embarrassing than admitting to your social peers that you can no longer afford your lifestyle.
i wish you the best of luck, unfortunately you can't always have what you want in life, once I understood this, my life changed for the better, I'm sure yours can too.Debt Free Dec 2009non-smoker 19th Nov 2010Trying to lose weight 40lb/42lb
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Skintnscared, I think you need to read and re-read the advice on here very carefully and really have a think. Look at the numbers.
You were both used to a pretty affluent lifestyle (which in reality you couldn't afford) - golf clubs, nice groceries, social life, haircuts every month (don't you end up bald if you have it cut that often??! I get my hair cut three times a year at Aveda and that's enough for me. Just let it grow long in between. Not cheap, but works out the same as lots of cheaper and less skilfull cuts).
That lifestyle is now gone. You have the trappings of it around you, but it's an illusion. You now need to wake up and really focus on what has happened to your life. Yes, you may get a nice job soon and avoid the bailiffs, but the real, scary important fact is that you have MASSIVE debt. Even with huge cutbacks and rethinks of lifestyle, it is going to take you years and years to pay back your excessive spending. That era is over.
The only way it will stay over is when you realise that our consumer society doesn't make you happy. Buying stuff doesn't bring you satisfaction, it just makes you want more stuff. It's a really hard thing to accept because it's all we've ever known in this country, it's how this country functions, and it's something I still struggle with, but it's so liberating when you finally have that lightbulb moment about lifestyle. I have to say I don't think you've had yours yet but I wish you well and I really hope you both find new jobs soon.0 -
Lots of people are losing/ have lost jobs at the moment - myself included. Tell people you both have. Don't pretend you haven't. And then tell them, that you're on an economy drive until you get a new one. And tell them again every time a friend asks you for a day/ evening/ haircut out. Make a joke of it, even if it doesn't feel like one. Turn it in to a personal challenge - how little can you live on?
And don't buy a new car. It's a false economy. Besides, without a job you won't get finance.0 -
Hey SnS
More tough thoughts, sorry hon:
SkintNScared wrote: »Well, the Estate Agent has just left. He reckons we should put our house on the market for £465k and look at offers around £450k. He bought with him some rental details of smaller properties if we were going to go down that route and there is a lovely cottage to rent for £1,200 a month which is much cheaper than our mortgage.
Much too high rent. With no wages coming in you need to be looking at 'rent which will be covered by housing benefit' levels of property, as most of your house sale income will have to go to paying off the old mortgage and associated fees of sale - IF you can sell it quickly for the evaluated price. It's a buyers market at the moment, and as you need a quick sale you may have to accept a lower price than you could otherwise hold out for. THEN you have to live of the rest plus your husbands redindancy AND keep paying your debts until you find employment. So you are looking at one bed flats or similar for now.
Hair cut is a social thing, I go with a few of my girl friends and we have it done as a group, I could probably lose the tidy up every other week so thats a saving of £30 a month there.
Whoba, I get my hair cut every few months for about £22... (and yes, I am a girl with a fashionable haircut) You just can't afford this money.
Entertainment - husband is locked into golf membership at £120 a month. We both have gym membership (renewed in May for 12 months) at £107 a month.
Then make the most of what your membership gives you for free, and you'll have to consider this the only form of entertainment you are allowed.
Have got husband to phone up to see if we can return the cars that are on HP and get a cheap car until we are sorted, it doesn't need to be very big because there is only two of us so we could get something around £10k new I guess.
Sorry, but £10k is NOT cheap and you really can't afford to go for a new car - they lose SO much their value in the first year! My first car cost me £550 second hand and was absolutely wonderful. My second (only acquired when the first one went to automobile heaven) was one and a half years old, low mileage and cost 6k, and I could only afford it because I saved dang hard to be able to afford something which would last me for years!
Now going to go and attack the utility companies to see if I can get the bills down.
Thanks for your help and suggestions so far
I know that's not what you want to hear. I know you are desparate to keep up the pretence of normality, at least on the social front. I know you are scared of what your friends are going to think if you can't keep up with them. It's what's driven you to the overspending in the first place, isn't it?
But you can't do that. You can try, sure, but as you can't afford it you are just digging yourself into a deeper hole, and deep down, you know where that will lead you. And you're scared of that, too.
Question is, what is it worth being more scared of - the opinion of your social circle, or where your debts could land you?
*hugs*
~JesNever underestimate the power of the techno-geek...0
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