living together - how to budget

Woodsylou
Woodsylou Posts: 67 Forumite
edited 11 August 2009 at 6:30PM in Debt-free wannabe
Hi

I wrote a few weeks ago about some problems im in, and you really helped, thank you! i'm slowly working through it :)

now i have another question. my boyfriend and I are living together in my flat, but at the moment i pay all the household bills and then we kind of live togetehr and pay for bits as we go. obviously this isn't ideal because im skint!

the problem is, he earns about £600 a month less than me (take home) and he has a lot of bills.

how do we work it all out so it's all fair and we're both paying our way. i don't want him to pay half and be totally skint, but i need it to be fairer. any advice/help would be greatfully received!

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Comments

  • Hi there,

    What we did when we didn't combine everything was to split the household bills etc 1/3rd to 2/3rds as I earned approx. double my DH's salary. Therefore for example he paid 1/3rd of the mortgage, electric etc and food. Everything else we wanted/ needed had to come out of our own salaries which include debt repayments.

    Becks
    LBM: 20/01/09 Total Debt: £104,050
    Curr Bal (25/08/12): £46,109 (55.6% Paid):j
    DMP Start Date: 01/03/09
  • lindsloo
    lindsloo Posts: 252 Forumite
    Hi

    Me and my partner had similar issues when we moved in, unfortunately one solution doesn't fit all. The solution that suits us is as long as we both have the same disposable (if there is any) as each other we didn't have any arguments.

    Together we produced a sheet which listed of all the bills that came in, what our income for the month is and how much money we both have left. Every month we sit together and agree who is paying what bill so our disposable amounts are pretty much the same every month.

    This might not work for you but it does for us, we've been using it since October and since then we've never fought over money.

    PM me if you like and I'll email you the sheet we use.

    Good luck
  • Woodsylou
    Woodsylou Posts: 67 Forumite
    thanks. that's what i was thinking, as long as at the end of the month the bills are paid and we both have a simliar amount left to 'play' with, that's good. thank you!
  • TotallyBroke
    TotallyBroke Posts: 1,540
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    Because the flat is yours in name then you should be paying all related costs for it, so Mortgage/Rent and buildings insurance. Council Tax should be split 75% to you and 25% to him. All other bills should be split 50/50.
    When and if you choose to buy somewhere together then the saying "whats yours is mine and what's mine is yours" comes into play. If you sell your property to put as a deposit you can draw something up with a solicitor to say you own 20% more of the property than your OH as the deposit was paid solely by you.
  • My boyfriend and I have got around this problem by opening a joint account for any joint costs. All of our direct debits are set up from here, and we also use it for joint costs such as food and rent payments.

    Each month we each deposit money into the account proportional to our salaries. For example if we chose to put 50% of each of our wages in; If I earnt £1000pm I would contribute £500, whereas if he earnt £1500pm, he contributes £750.

    The total amount we contribute is sufficient to cover all expected bills etc + enough to account for an expensive month (eg high electric bill in midwinter). If we end up with a surplus, we can either choose to both put less in one month, or use it as spending money on a joint holiday.

    The rest of our wages can be spent on personal things/savings/paying off personal debts. It is our own choice what other bills we have in our names - if I want to have an expensive mobile tariff then that is my choice and I pay for it myself!

    I should add that I don't think this arrangement will suit us forever. When we become more settled eg buy a place together / get married / have children, then I believe that all wages should be centrally pooled - especially if one of us were to go part time / give up work to look after children!
  • Woodsylou
    Woodsylou Posts: 67 Forumite
    this is where i have problems, because of debts, if we were to do that (50% wages thing, proportionate, which i think is a great idea!) my other half would end up with about £10 left a month, because he has more loans/debts than me. so we've done it so that we both have the same amount of disposable income left at the end of the month, but that means im paying about 85% of all costs, which i have a feeling i will end up resenting. and i don't really know what to do about it.
  • MyopicMoo
    MyopicMoo Posts: 274 Forumite
    Could you try pooling your money? Cover bills and debts and then have whatever is left split between you? It depends really on whether you feel your relationship is a very long term one and therefore you won't mind covering debt payments together. If you don't want to do this, then perhaps he can look at trying to increase his income so he can pay his way. Good luck - I know it can be tricky.
    Ebay challenge 2010 - £525
    :idea:August 2009: Debt _pale_: [STRIKE]£55895.56[/STRIKE] £43069.65 - £12825.91 paid off so far (23%)
    Council Tax Arrears Paid £6023.67/£6581.64 (92%) :j
    2009 (5 months) £5753.53 paid / 2010 £7072.38 paid so far
  • how about going to a budget planner over at cccs/payplan to see how much you need to be setting aside for all the various bits and pieces then decide what you want to do with the remainder.
  • Woodsylou
    Woodsylou Posts: 67 Forumite
    MyopicMoo wrote: »
    Could you try pooling your money? Cover bills and debts and then have whatever is left split between you? It depends really on whether you feel your relationship is a very long term one and therefore you won't mind covering debt payments together. If you don't want to do this, then perhaps he can look at trying to increase his income so he can pay his way. Good luck - I know it can be tricky.

    yeah that's basically what we are doing, and it's definitely long term. i think i should just get used to it now, eventually when we have children my wages will drop dramatically and he'll be paying for the both of us (once loans are settled of course!!!) so it's give and take. :)
  • When DH and I first moved in together we worked out what all our household bills would cost, added on the shopping and a contingency fund and agreed to pay that money into a joint back account out of which the direct debits would be paid. Initially we paid the same, our salaries weren't so different that they weren't largely accounted for by my higher commuting costs.

    We have kept the same principle of paying into the joint account and the remainder is pocket money ever since but the amoounts and proportions change.

    You could try it the opposite way round, if you wanted to where you take out a set amount of pocket money.

    What you do about the debts and your different income levels really depends upon the relationship. Not sure how comfortable I'd feel in your position subsidising your OH when you already own the house etc. Looks like you are putting significantly more into the pot than he is...... does he make up for this in anyway?
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