Help!

spendaholicinseattle

Hi all

I am pretty despairing at the moment. I am a compulsive spender - I have battled all my life with this (among other things). I find myself very fearful around money and looking at my bank account - it takes a big effort for me to do it - I get very stressed and feel panicky about it. Bills and statements pretty much don't get opened. Anyway, my money is crap again at the moment and it all feels a bit overwhelming. I know compared to some people my problems are pretty insignificant but I am seriously stressed. I am spending yet another holiday on my own in my home town feeling down in the dumps, while all my colleagues jet off to nice places, and I want it to get better!

Sorry if the above is a bit emotional, I am just sick of my situation. I have downloaded the budget planner but not used it yet - too scary right now. I need among other things:

- to sell my car (need some advice and help with this)
- to pay off my credit cards
- to work out what i actually can afford
- to get out of my overdraft

etc etc

I know fear keeps me stuck, but I just feel overwhelmed right now.

Any help or support would be great!



ps not in Seattle!

Horace

Hi and welcome

When you are feeling up to it, it would help if you could post a statement of affairs - follow the instructions on it to post it to MSE https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

You need to try and bite the bullet and open up all the letters from the bank, the credit card statements etc so that you know how much you owe and then you can work from there. If we had an idea of what is owed then we are better placed to give advice.

As for holidaying at home - try and view your town from a tourist point of view and maybe walk around it, find some cheap and free things to do - that way you aren't spending.

penelopedee_2

Just sending you a virtual hug - others will be along soon with more pratical advise but until then, you've doing the right thing as people here are brilliant with their support.

If its any consolation my post and bills regularly makes me cry but I force myself to open and deal with it, just to try and keep some control on the situation. At least it frightens me enough to think twice about pulling the cards out even if I'm too frightened to face it all in one go. I'm happy to nag you if you feel the urge to splurge.

Shoe_Gal

No practical advice to offer, there are others who will be able to help, but wanted to wish you luck and tell you that the support and advice here are fantastic

spendaholicinseattle

Thanks so much you guys, it really means a lot that you replied. I know I need to get over my fear and face up to it all... I find it very hard.

I am going to try and do the soa I think, just have to put up with the feelings I know I will have around it.

Deeks_2

Hi Spenda,

Just wanted to say a quick hi, can't offer advise cause I'm in exactly the same shoes as you (probably not as expensive, but you get my drift )

I've only joined the forum today and am so impressed with the amount of people offering help or just a sympathetic ear.

After weeks/months feeling depressed and putting my head in the sand, I now have hope and a bit of determination to get out of my mess

It's early days Spenda, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel

Keep believing

(stop spending though )

spendaholicinseattle

Hi all

I am going to try to do a soa today, just thought I'd say.

spendaholicinseattle

Aaagh still haven't done it yet. I am having difficulty facing this. Ironically it is probably not nearly as bad as some people's problems. But it is big for me.

geranium72

Just wanted to say welcome - I know it is tough - but you are here now and amongst friends

Do the SOA - that's just one thing - and then we can start working on the rest

Just think if you tackle this now then you will be in a position in the future when you can go on nice hols and be able to pay for it in cash - not credit cards!

spendaholicinseattle

OK finally did it. Have paper all over my living room! I am going to have to get a filing system sorted.

I don't know what my flat's value is really - 110,000 is a positiveish guesstimate. I got rid of 23K ish of debt by remortgaging it 2 years ago... and now I am in a mess again.

What do I do now??

BTW the "secured debt" listed below is my HP agreement for my car.

God I feel crap.

One category edited in bold below

b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b]

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2073.39
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2073.39

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 587.4
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 191
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 100
Electricity............................. 49
Gas..................................... 39
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 23.4
Telephone (land line)................... 74
Mobile phone............................ 73
TV Licence.............................. 11.95
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 36.5
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 285.09
Clothing................................ 65
Petrol/diesel........................... 157.6
Road tax................................ 12.91
Car Insurance........................... 37
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Cleaner....................... 55
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 7
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 46.83
Contents insurance...................... 11.76
Life assurance ......................... 31.86
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 15
Entertainment........................... 200
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 2110.3


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 110000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 9500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 119500


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 104000...(587.4)....5.19
Secured Debt.................. 11000....(191)......6.35
Total secured & HP debts...... 115000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Virgin Credit Card.............841.33....25........2
Abbey Credit Card..............1115.87...25........0
Overdraft......................0.........0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........1957.2....50........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,073.39
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,110.3
Available for debt repayments........... -36.91
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 50
Amount short for making debt repayments. -86.91

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 119,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -115,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -1,957.2
Net Assets.............................. 2,542.8

dancingfairy

Well done for doing your SOA - now at least you know where you stand.
You are only overspending by 32 pounds a month according to your SOA so it's perfectly possible with a few cut backs you will be back on track.
Hmm - let's have a look:
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 587.4
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 191
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 100 this seems quite high - are you getting your single person discount?
Electricity............................. 49 this probably could be cheaper - have a look around on the comparison sites and see if you can save - and also try low energy bulbs, not leaving anything plugged in, turning lights off when not in the room, etc
Gas..................................... 39
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 23.4
Telephone (land line)................... 74 woah - how on earth are you spending this much?
Mobile phone............................ 73 ditto? is this contract or pay as you go? these really are massive
TV Licence.............................. 11.95
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 36.5 a luxury really
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 285.09 for one person - what are you eating? you really need to be looking at 120 ish pounds or less
Clothing................................ 65 a month?
Petrol/diesel........................... 157.6
Road tax................................ 12.91
Car Insurance........................... 37
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 7
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 46.83 seems really high - shop arounf.
Contents insurance...................... 11.76
Life assurance ......................... 31.86 seems high -shop around
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 15
Entertainment........................... 200 this is really high as well.
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 2055.3


Your main problem is that you are trying to live the life of someone who earns twice as much as you do. It does appear that you are trying to keep up with the Jones .
There are loads of areas that you can cut back on and some without too much pain - ie by shopping around you should be able to save quite a bit without sacrifices.
I would also try a spending diary as I would guess that money just dissapears form your bank account on food at work/crisps/drinks out /food out/chocolate bars/ cigarettes/bus tickets/lipsticks/ cd/dvd's - well everyone seems to have a weakness for something - a spending diary should tell you where some of your missing money is going.

The good news is you have a good salary and some sacrifices now and you can get that debt under control.
Good Luck
df