I got DLA renewal forms today....

tireesix

And I am scared to go through this again.

When I first applied, I had a horrible Doctor visit my home.

I suffer from depression/anxiety, fibromyalgia and EDS hypermobility type.

When the Doctor came round to examine me, she asked if I was anti depressants, I said no (I hate the damn things but keep ending back on them), she said it might be a good idea and asked if I would be alright about her contacting my GP to advise them that she thinks it would be a good idea. I said yes, thinking it would be a good idea to go back on them.

Next day I went to see my GP for an appointment I had made a week or so previously, only to be asked a load of questions about my ability to care for my children. I was asked whether I hit them, abused them etc, whether I was capable of caring for them. GP said she had to ask these questions even though she knew I had no problems with caring for my children, unfortunately, the medical services doctor had said that she was concerned about my abilities as a mother.

Thankfully, it went no where in the end, everyone who knows me and the children know that children come first, all the time. Everyone is always impressed by how polite, happy and good natured they are. I get comments no matter where I go with them, so I must be doing something right lol.

Anyway, to be honest, what that doctor did not only angered me, but scared me to the point of nearly peeing myself and I don't want to allow someone back into my house to allow it to happen again.

The other thing is, she wrote a bunch of codswollop in the report.

She said I ignored the baby when the baby was crying - I didn't ignore the baby. The baby was up and down and all over the place. She was teething and simply not happy, she was in the middle of a tantrum (I say baby but she was over a year old, 18 monthsish), so I after trying everything, I put her down so that she could calm herself. All she was doing on my lap was kicking me and causing me to hurt more and generally, making the whole apointment even unbearable than it was.

The doctor claimed I was on antidepressants even though she asked me whether she could call the doctors to suggest that I go on to anti depressants.

She claimed I had poor oral hygiene - I smoke (shoot me now), so my teeth are somewhat stained. The other thing is, the EDS seems to cause me various tooth problems, I am forever getting abscesses etc, I have tried sonicare toothbrushes, oral b electric tooth brushes, various tooth pastes and NOTHING helps. I hate the way people see bad teeth and assume you don't look after them.

She kept commenting on the state of our flat. We were living in a 1 bedroom flat with 2 children and the bedroom was too small to fit a double bed in so we slept in the dining/sitting room. We never planned to have 2 children in that stupid flat, however, my GP and I were trying to find a contraceptive I didn't react too and that would work for me. i go through bouts of vomiting for no apparent reason and also major IBS on top of reacting chemical contraceptives. As a result I now have 3 children, 2 unplanned. So yes, the place was a bit of a state because it was small, with 4 people living in it 24/7. It wasn't disgusting etc, it was clean and tidy, it just had beds in the wrong place and there was the odd kiddy scribble on the wall and also, we had the curtains that go out onto the street permanently closed, simply for our privacy, there was another window directly oppsite the window that opened onto the street, so even with net curtains up, you could see pretty much everything going on in the place and I wasn't comfortable with that.

She stated that I got up and down in a normal fashion, I rarely get up and down in a normal fashion, I usually end up flopping down or easing down and generally support myself getting up.

Apparently, even though I was diagnosed by 2 rheumatologists and had a physios who loved how flexible I was (I am a good model for showing to physio students apparently, I always get poked and prodded in hospital by the students because its such a great learning experience :rolleyes: ), apparently my joint problem is caused by my mood.

Apparently I am able to do everything. I guess I do do everything, because if I don't, the family goes hungry and lives in a tip. I wish there was a box they could tick that says 'can do but would be better off with help as takes an awfully long time to do'.

Apparently my gait etc was all normal when she checked my mobility and walking, never mind the fact that I was in a plaster cast after having ligament surgery just a couple of weeks prior to the appointment. How on earth could she tell how I was walking when I was barely able to walk at all and was on crutches?

So, yeah, I worried stiff.

My medication has changed, I am in a lot more pain these days, I still have to get on with doing everything because my DH can't and I am effectively caring for him (I wish he would get DLA but after his experience he has decided not to go near it ever again).

Do we still have to fill out the form as before or can we just write 'no change' in places?

Is it likely to be refused in order for me to have to appeal it again?

Is it likely that I am going to have to see another medical services doctor?

My DLA doesn't stop until early next year so I guess I have time to think it over but part of me just wants it over and done with.

Anyone got any advice.

woody01

As a result I now have 3 children, 2 unplanned

but

I rarely get up and down in a normal fashion

That is just one thing that would look inconsistent with what you state.

I can see where these doctors are concerned and also why you would be concerned regarding a future award but the post above, and not wanting to sound condescending is full of things which could be read in a different light.

tireesix

I don't understand the issue with the children?

I have to get on with stuff, I can't not, I suffer for it every day with increased pain.

We have had 2 applications with social services, neither panned out because social services is too stretched at the moment, the people who helped us try and get social help were extremely shocked that we didn't get it.

I don't get how anything I said is inconsistent?

The doctor lied with my first application, she was the one who was inconsistent.

Every report from the specialists associated with me said things that supported what I was saying. When I was refused DLA the first time, again, everyone was shocked.

We get zero support from social services for our health problems, we have no friends or family living close by, in fact, our closest relatives live in France, so I have very little choice but to get on with stuff and dealing with the consequences as a result.

Just sleeping at night I can suffer from a dislocated shoulder. I have unstable joints, everywhere. I suffer fatigue daily and can need to sleep up to 16 hours a day on a bad day.

starnight_2

tireesix wrote: »

Do we still have to fill out the form as before or can we just write 'no change' in places?

Is it likely to be refused in order for me to have to appeal it again?

Is it likely that I am going to have to see another medical services doctor?

My DLA doesn't stop until early next year so I guess I have time to think it over but part of me just wants it over and done with.

Anyone got any advice.

Please don't put in no change. la probably won't have kept a record form your last award, so if you put in no change they will probably just ignore it and you are more likely to get a rejection. Is there anyone who can help you fill in the forms? Also get as much supporting evidence as you can from all your different docs, especially if your situation has deteriorated.

Hopefully if you get enough written support you won't have to see another of their doctors as it sounds you had a horrible time first time round. Also just because you have children and look after them doesn't mean you don't need extra help. Dla is about the care you need wether or not you get it.

tireesix

I am going to be asking for a volunteer from home start next week for help with the children.

I guess in my previous post I was just wondering why woody thought it was inconsistent for me to have 3 children and not be able to get up and down in a normal fashion.

I will just put some history:

After YEARS of problems, in 2006 at the ripe old age of 26 I think, the final straw came when I was going through an awful patch with my hands and couldn't use door handles. For years I had been told my problems were 'in my head' that 'it was just one of those things' etc, I have been in and out of physio most of my life and using pain meds most of my life even though at that point, the pain meds I was offered were pretty much useless. In 2006 I had had enough though and demanded to see a rheumatologist who diagnosed me with Ehler Danlos Hyper Mobility Type and later on with Fibromyalgia. It was a nightmare to get diagnosed but I finally got there. It was the year after that that I was told that I would probably be eligible for DLA.

With regards to the children. I had my first child in 2004, while I suffered back then, it was not as bad as now. Due to previously mentioned issues with contraception, I fell pregnant again and had a baby in 2005, I decided on a sterilisation. However, for those under 30, it can be a good old fight to get one. I was given permission, but unfortunately, ill health meant they had to keep canceling the op and I fell pregnant agin, having a baby end of last year. I finally got my op about 3 months ago. (Yes, despite my health problems, I still have sex, just only on the good days which means sex is a rare opportunity).

So, prior to 2006 I had only 2 children, I believed that my health problems according to my GPs were not much to worry about and I would get better in time.

I am not worried about whether I will get DLA for the following reasons:

There is more going on that what is written in the OP.

I have been diagnosed with at least 1 life long problem that will require treatment for the rest of my life and will cause problems for the rest of my life.

I am backed by a number of health professionals.

My medications also point towards the fact that I do have some issues health wise (anti depressants, morphine, tramadol etc). Some also come with their own issues side effect wise that result in me requiring help.

My OP was simply about the fact that I am scared about having to deal with medical services again because, even though I did finally manage to get some DLA, the Doctor I saw lied about things on her form, made judgements she couldn't have possibly made due to me being in plaster and unable to walk at the time without some use of crutches and she also managed to decide I was an unfit mother in an appointment that lasted only 20 minutes in the end (she also claimed my appointment was an hour long which it certainly wasn't).

I am just terrified of having to go through that again and maybe it won't be so bad this time, but I am panicking already.

I believe I should be able to get enough supporting evidence. Is it best to get it all sent together? I am hoping to get a new pain management doctor but it may be some months before I get an appointment and I would rather get as much sent off now as I can (I have a GP, previous rheumatology report, counsellor and someone who has known me for some time and can confirm my deterioration) but I would like to get the pain management one in as well.

I just don't understand why it has to be so ruddy stressful!

So, fingers crossed I guess!

Thank you Starnight for your reply, I knew about my care needs but didn't think about the help I need for caring with the children.

lolababy

Hi first of all social services have a duty of care to you and your children. An assessment of your needs and your childrens needs to take place. Social services cannot leave you struggling even if they are busy.
Adult and childrens services can do a joint assessment . From what you say you will be entitled to direct payments so that you can employ your own help to suit your needs .
Get in touch with the disabled parents network for advice. Phone 08702410450.

[Deleted User]

Might be an idea to get help with the renewal forms from cab or welfare rights,which may avoid having a dla doc visit

Trialia

Geez, sounds like you got a right lovely for your assessing doctor. I have FMS, EDS-h and bipolar disorder and though I went through a fair amount of !!!! getting DLA at the rate I have now, I didn't have to put up with anything like THAT! I feel for you. Might be worth trying to get a new medical assessment as you probably won't get the same person again - and if your doctor lied on hir report, get a new GP.

System

No idea if you did, but by any chance did you make a copy of your last DLA forms? That could make it easier to fill them in again, if not try to do it this time then if you have to renew again it will save you some time.

Don't really have any other advice to add i'm afraid, but i do sympathise with you

Hope everything works out for you

earthmother

I can't offer much help, but offer my sympathies.

We've just completed a review for hubby (HMS, Arthritis, Lymphodema, knackered joints and severe Sleep Apnoea, just to list the basics :rolleyes: ) - despite half of those being diagnosed in the time since the last review, they actually downgraded his care component - the reason? - because after years of fighting for it, and even though his daytime care needs have increased, he finally has the right diagnosies, medications, aids and adaptations to mean he can sleep through the night and once he's in bed I don't have to help him regularly :wall:

We've never in 8 years of claiming (3 reviews) been asked for a medical, so I can't comment on that aspect, but as far as the form goes, you do still need to fill in as much detail as possible - get the local CAB etc to help if you can - and keep a photocopy (they lost our form - was lucky as this was the first time I'd taken a copy of ours - it took a week to fill in!).

Good luck

joyciebird

Rind the DLA helpline and ask for a copy of your last claim pack, that way you can make sure you miss nothing out