Alcohol self help thread II

inbits

beer2006 wrote:

Thats fantastic Al, very pleased for you.

inbits, have you told him you are going to leave or anything, or throw him out? What did he say?

I said last week that if he started drinking again he would have lost his family. he drank Friday night and saturday.. but only admitted it after I offered to take him back to rehab for a breathalyser. He fell over outside cut his head and is now sleeping it off..

He said he wouldn't le me down.. did I believe him .. I said I wanted to .. but thre truth I don't think he can do it ..

inbits

Lewt

Thank you so much for telling me your story. It does help to hear that it is possible. You're right about the costs, but i'm not sure he would go so far from home. The therapists he has are all recovering alocholics and he thinks that is a good thing. I can't see him agreeing to 3 months ... he thinks he should be back at work before Xmas.. me I'm thinking we'll have to sell up before we get into financial trouble.

At the end of the day only he knows what is going around in his head, but I have to think of my family. I can't make him give up. But our hearts are broken here and I don't really have anyone to talk to - well there are but funnily enough they have all backed away .. 'for the grace of god..' and all that.

Al_Mac

inbits, I've said this before, as my wife was told, children, then her and me last. You have to protect youself and the children. If your oh hasn't decided to do something to save himself, you have to kick him out, He needs to have his lightbulb alcoholic moment. And really want to get better.

inbits

Al_Mac wrote:

inbits, I've said this before, as my wife was told, children, then her and me last. You have to protect youself and the children. If your oh hasn't decided to do something to save himself, you have to kick him out, He needs to have his lightbulb alcoholic moment. And really want to get better.

Al - thanks - that's the scary bit.. I can't see how I can do that without breaking my child's heart, his mothers heart and well mine too..

Al_Mac

Do you think he's going to drink himself to death? Do you want to be there? do you want your child to be there? Do you think he will come to his senses?

He needs to know he's hit rock bottom, if you have to leave him to save him, will you do it?

Talk to his mum, she might agree.

I'm sorry, that really is a horrible thing to say, but the true fear of losing Mrs Mac and the young Macs, has been my main reason for sobriety, I was worthless, what I was going to lose was priceless.

inbits

Al, he has said the same things to me but continues to drink. His mother is getting on a bit - well we are getting on a bit as well.. and he thinks it would kill her .. crikey she must know.. but well as a family they pretend everything is fine when it most certainly isn't. His sibling is just as bad.

They will all hate me ( rather than the illness) if I tell her.

But deep down I know you are right .. he has another week in rehab.. to get through first.

Al_Mac

inbits wrote:

he has another week in rehab.. to get through first.

Fingers crossed that it does the job.

beer2006

Painful as it was Al, well done for writing what I was thinking, I'm afraid I didn't have the gonads enough to say it.
inbits, you think of yourself for once and the kids, stop thinking about his family hating you, I doubt they will and if they do, they are stupid and not worth worrying about.
Stop thinking about others and do whats right for your kids.

Kick him back to his Mums and see how she likes it.

It doesn't have to be final, but it may give him the kick he obviously needs.

:grouphug:

Al_Mac

Morning all, Mrs & Miss Mac off to a flower show today. Master Mac is still in bed.

I've ironed mine a and Mrs Mac's stuff.

DD & DS's stuff next

Wash on the line

Tumble drier on with the smalls

A year ago, if we'd had friends round I'd have still been !!!!!! and useless, now I'm just useless

jayne.doe

al you are the domesticated god of the alcohol thread will you come and do my chores for me i have loads I was out all day yesterday spending my ` no drinking budget` at the rate i spent i wont be drinking for a long time.:) (hopefully).