My options

Life_Tasted_Sweet

i divorced my first wife due to her persistent adultery 15 years ago.despite a similar income, she has loads of debt because she is thick whereas i am better placed financially

i've been paying every month for many years by standing order.i also give my son pocket money.the total is 15% of my take home pay.she has asked for more money but will not discuss how much and i have now had a letter from the csa

now, i do not like the CSA.i will do just about anything to avoid becoming one of their statistics.i suffer from depression anyway but after a sleepless night i have set out my plan

non-csa agreement
if we can agree outside of the CSA,i will increase my standing order to from about 13% to 15% of my take home pay and ds keeps his pocket money intact (about 2% of my pay)

csa involved
up to 15%
i do not want to pay by dd or by a deduction from earnings.would the csa allow me to pay by standing order or would they accept a one-off lump sum
i will no longer have my son to visit unless she pays me £13 (£10 for the money i pay and £3 that she can fund from wages/child benefit).
if the csa decide that i should pay more than 15% i will have no further contact with anybody related to my ex-wife (including my other children and grandchildren)

Over 15%
as above plus I shall ask my employer for part time employment


is that a reasonable plan?


lts

poppy9_2

I am utterly appalled by your attitude. So you will cut all ties with your son if your ex wife does not comply with your wishes? Is this a wind up?

McKneff

No it isnt, start again.

And just to point out that being in debt doesnt automatically mean you are thick !!!

PlayingHardball

Life_Tasted_Sweet wrote: »

i divorced my first wife due to her persistent adultery 15 years ago.despite a similar income, she has loads of debt because she is thick whereas i am better placed financially

After reading your post, I'm thinking she can't be that thick. Perhaps, with that attitude, your son is best without you in his life as well. Go for CSA option 2, for his sake.

koolmummy

Life_Tasted_Sweet wrote: »

is that a reasonable plan?
lts

Er - No.
Looks very much like emotional blackmail/control freakery to me.
Would you seriously consider not seeing your children/grandchildren? or was this just bravado?
I am stunned by your post.

loobyloo0302

"i will no longer have my son to visit unless she pays me £13 (£10 for the money i pay and £3 that she can fund from wages/child benefit)."

Paying you to babysit? What the chuff is wrong with you??????

Seems to me, your ex is well rid of you and very soon your son will be too

stressed_eric_4

if you have your son over 52 nights per year any way you will get a 1/7 deduction of the amount you should pay, or 2/7 if above 104 (? it might be 105) and so on.

if you are already paying 15% now (13% to your ex and 2% to your son) it's not going to break the bank paying her 15%, if you are struggling you can explain to your son (if he's old enough) that now you have to pay more money to his mum for his upkeep you can not afford to pay him his pocket money each week, but you'll treat him when you can.

frugallass

Life_Tasted_Sweet wrote: »

is that a reasonable plan?

I hope that you ex and the CSA screw every last penny out of you - people like you are the ones that give the good NRP's a bad name

I hope life never tastes sweet for you again - loser !

pinkpig08

I'm not surprised she committed adultery. Getting you out of her life sounds like the smartest thing she ever did.

DUTR

Life_Tasted_Sweet wrote: »

i divorced my first wife due to her persistent adultery 15 years ago.despite a similar income, she has loads of debt because she is thick whereas i am better placed financially

i've been paying every month for many years by standing order.i also give my son pocket money.the total is 15% of my take home pay.she has asked for more money but will not discuss how much and i have now had a letter from the csa

now, i do not like the CSA.i will do just about anything to avoid becoming one of their statistics.i suffer from depression anyway but after a sleepless night i have set out my plan

non-csa agreement
if we can agree outside of the CSA,i will increase my standing order to from about 13% to 15% of my take home pay and ds keeps his pocket money intact (about 2% of my pay)

csa involved
up to 15%
i do not want to pay by dd or by a deduction from earnings.would the csa allow me to pay by standing order or would they accept a one-off lump sum
i will no longer have my son to visit unless she pays me £13 (£10 for the money i pay and £3 that she can fund from wages/child benefit).
if the csa decide that i should pay more than 15% i will have no further contact with anybody related to my ex-wife (including my other children and grandchildren)

Over 15%
as above plus I shall ask my employer for part time employment


is that a reasonable plan?


lts

You can pay them via standing order,that is what I do, not sure what to make of the rest of the post, not sure if it's a troll posting, I won't judge on whether you cut contact as I pay and go, so who am I to judge there?

Mips

Life tasted sweet.. I really hope you can read this back and realise how heartless you have come across.

Your poor child :mad:

Why don't you show him this and ask him which option he would prefer...