The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

EverTheOptimist

Congratulations Mrs Happy. Fantastic news. :j:j Hope the next 9 months are extremely uneventful.

vesper

OMG congratulations Mrshappy, that's fantastic news.

Can't add much to the conversation yet, time dragging on sooooo slowly until our first meeting with the Doctor. This is worse than the 2ww.
Told my 2 closest friends that we were taking the first step to finding out what is going on. Their answer, 'what the hell has took you so long?'. Feels weird involving my friends in something that is a such a private thing, but we are so close we share things like that. And if even they think it's doctor time, then it is.
Has anyone else told their friends and family about their journeys. There's only really the people on here and my 2 friends that know what is going on.
My parents know we have had problems, only as we had an argument, and I screamed at them that what ever it was wasn't important to me as it didn't look as though I would have children, which was the most important thing to me.

Rowingirl

Congrats Mrs Happy, BFP is fantastic :j. Hope you have an uneventful pregnancy.

Vesper - I've told my parents & sisters and 2 best friends about our fertility journey; it was a relief to share it with them and their support has made the situation easier. DH's parents didn't react or say anything when he told we are planning to go for IVF; it was strange and we have no idea what they're thinking or if they want to know what may happen in the future. It has made me wary of who I tell about our infertility.

Primmer

MrsHappy - huge congrats - excellent news :j

tea_lover

Massive congrats mrshappy.... am so excited for you both!! Wishing you a very boring pg!

vseviour - is it OTD today??

Regarding telling people..... I told my parents and sister before our ICSI cycle. Partly because I also handed my notice in at that time and wanted to let them know some of the reasoning behind that. It was nice that they knew where we were up to, and very useful when I was ill and OH was stuck at work as my dad took me to hospital.

But having said that I don't think I'll be telling them if we try again. It felt like a bit of extra pressure for it to work (although that was totally from me, they did nothing to make me feel like that, and would be horrified that I even thought that tbh). I told them when we get our +ve which was great, but having to tell them about the m/c was awful. I was a complete wuss, texted my sister and made her tell our parents (which I still feel guilty about). Don't think I'd want that added thing to worry about if we try again.

Fairy_dust

Sorry not been on here for a few days. Congratulations mrshappy that's fantastic news!

Part_Mouse

Morning all

I've been diagnosed with pcos since my teens so my mum has always known and so has my dh and mil & fil.plus my burst appendix happened in my teens so that's been a worry.

Derby2

Congratulations Mrs Happy - you've made me slightly weepy at work on a Monday morning...yay!!!!!!

Fingers crossed vseviour

Part_Mouse

Vseviour got everything crossed for you.

time2deal

Re telling people - well, my life is an open book these days (as many of you know!) and I have found it a huge relief to tell people.

I think I nearly gave myself a nervous breakdown, trying to be happy all the time, but dealing with such stress, even keeping it from my husband in many ways. I was constantly terrified of seeing friends as I thought they would either ask me about it, or announce they were pregnant, or worse, stop asking as they were embarrassed as it was clear things were taking too long. It felt like there was no other subject in the world!

It is a sign of how far it had gone when a cancer diagnosis was a relief - in many ways its easier to talk about. I couldn't face another 'just relax and it will happen' talk.

It's been 7 months or so since my all clear, and people talk openly now about what my options are. It's good and bad. Sometimes a little over personal, but I have found gentle ways to move the conversation on. I've actually told most people we have to wait 1 year from the surgery to start, which it looks like it will be, so there is less pressure now.

On the negative side, about 2 weeks ago I was told my cousin had had a miscarriage, and we were virtually shunted into a room to 'talk', as we could 'understand' each other. It was like when your parents made you go and play with a kid just because you were the same age! I wasn't too impressed with it to be honest, and was very uncomfortable.