Do you ever recover from BK?

rog2

It's quite a thought provoking question, Loise. :think: :think:

Of course people 'recover' after Bankruptcy - after all, even the Insolvency Service acknowledge the 'fresh start' element of bankruptcy.
To my mind, however, the question implies - 'Is life the same after bankruptcy as it was before bankruptcy?'
Now, you may, or may not have meant it in this way, but that is how I interpret it, and I give my answer based on my interpretation:

I have recovered from my bankruptcy in that I no longer have to 'deal' with creditors, dcas and the unforgiving Tax man, and have to say that life is much 'easier' without that hassle - I no longer 'dread' phone calls, 'red letters' or uninvited callers. I am confident, and far more knowledgeable than pre-bankruptcy, in my dealings with those who I used to fear - such as Banks, Debt Collectors and, even, HMRC. I have learnt, thanks in no small part to DFW, to 'live within my means' and have very few 'materialistic aspirations'. I miss my car, and the 'trappings' that went with my previous life, but am, gradually, coming to terms with the fact that I will, probably, have to manage without them for a long time to come.
To that extent I have recovered from bankruptcy and am, probably, a better person for the experience.

On the other hand, my bankruptcy has, certainly, affected my life in very negative ways, and it will never be the same as it was before:

I have had to 'transform' myself from a once successful businessman into a 'not so successful' jobseeker, relying on my income from an irregular part-time delivery job in the absence of any jobseeker's allowance, or other benefits (denied because I had been self-employed and my wife earns just above the threshold). I have been unable to re-start my business because I am unable to obtain sufficient funding - due to my bankruptcy and the current economic climate. I have, consistently, been applying for jobs (often below either my expectations and qualification level) for the last three years, and, equally consistently, my applications, of which less than ten have resulted in interviews, have been politely rejected. Whether this is because of my bankruptcy, my age, or a combination of both, I do not know.
My personal relationships, with my wife and family, have never recovered. I am the first to acknowledge how 'unfair' the whole process has been to my wife - who had to take out a mortgage in order to buy back my BI in the house. My current earnings do not even make a small dent in that mortgage payment and, naturally, our relationship has suffered as a result. I wish it were not so, and I continue to try and get myself into more meaningful employment so that I can not only contribute towards, but take over the responsibility of, those payments which, after all, she did not need, nor was she a contributory factor, in any way, to the circumstances of my bankruptcy.
My relationship with my children (all fortunately grown up) is also 'strained' because they, inevitably, see me as the root cause of our current financial situation. I was, recently, blessed with the arrival of my first grandchild and would dearly love to be in the position to, as other grandfathers, have more of a financial input into his wellbeing. As a result I do feel that my bankruptcy has alienated me, to some effect, from my children.
I used to travel a lot, especially to my wife's family in Italy - this was not, I hasten to add, a contributory factor to my bankruptcy as all trips were funded from savings and not credit - but, now am, understandably, unable to do so. My wife's parents are both in their late eighty's and I would never forgive myself if I were unable to see them again whilst they remain alive and in good health. My wife, and children, still visit them, albeit on a less regular basis and on a strict budget which, currently, can not stretch to include me.

I appreciate that bankruptcy will affect different people in different ways - for most of us, myself included, it was the only realistic option for an otherwise hopeless situation - and most will make a full, and quick, recovery from both the physical event of bankruptcy and its implications. I am, equally, sure that, given time, I, too, will make a 'full recovery' and be able to look back on this as 'life experience'.

I do not pretend, for one moment, that I went into 'Bankruptcy' thinking that it would be a 'magic panacea' and, certainly, given the benefit of 'hindsight' I would, if my circumstances had allowed, have tried to tackle my problems differently. But, as we know, hindsight is a wonderful gift that few of us are blessed with 'before the event' and I have learnt to accept the consequences of my bankruptcy - both positive and negative.

This board is, frequently, invaded by those who are quick to criticise those of us who have had to go down the route of bankruptcy - often calling it the 'easy option'. These people should be aware that it is definitely not an easy option - there are consequences - not all financially related - that the bankrupt has to live with, often for the rest of his/her life.

So I'm not so sure if we do ever recover from BR, but we certainly can recover.

Thanks for reading - and I hope, LOUISE, that my comments don't dampen the spirits of others.