Is it really worth all the stress

amilotte

Thanks for your replies!

Sarahx1, as you know I had PM'd you to say thanks for your earlier advice.

For info I did a really long complaint to the CSA and to be fair (and to my astonishment!) they acted on it pretty quickly. The case was transferred to Crewe within a few days and acted on shortly after resulting in me having an assessment outcome within a couple of weeks :T. However, I am not happy with the figures he has provided so intend to query these so am probably going to end up back at square one :rolleyes:. Thanks to Sarahx1's advice I asked that I be considered for a 'special payment' and am pleased to say that they have awarded me £50 after acknowledging the stress that this has all caused.

Dancing Shoes - Good advice! I have actually calmed down since I wrote the initial post and realise that actually it is the CSA and their failings that causes me more stress than the NRP himself. I have accepted his failings and what he is but you kind of expect the CSA to do a half decent job at least :rolleyes:

Lallychops - Guess what...... my case was at Plymouth!!!! It has now been transferred to Crewe after months of waiting but, like you, I just don't get the whole clerical - can't be put on the computer system situation - surely in this day an age anything is possible. Your right about them being overwhelmed too, when I would slate the CSA they would agree with me that it was useless!!

Re Debt enforcement, I had actually thought that my case was with them before it had to 'go clerical' so not sure what that means. I know he will comply for say a month or two and then we will be back to none compliance again. The major problem is that he is self employed and works very hard at finding ways to avoid paying anything (probably harder than he actually works doing his job:rotfl:). I just get the feeling, from reading posts on here, that they will chase those that are easy targets and not bother with the ones who can play the system. I shall be asking them re the form you mentioned for the last tax return although my problem is he has admitted to 'cooking the books' so whilst he is taking cash home at the end of the day the business and bank accounts probably look empty! Also, as you say he can just say that everything was a 'gift' which he has done in the past.... his Mother in law is one VERY generous lady!

You would have thought that after 9 years I would have become hardened to all of this but at times it ends up feeling just as raw as it did when I first put the claim in. I try to put it all in perspective, I don't 'need' his money myself and my husband provide for DD (I know that statement will probably infuriate some) but for me the principle is that he should not get away with going round having children and not taking the responsibility. My ideal was that he contributed regularly so that my daughter could see that he could be consistent and responsible but that is just not the case. He really is an embarassment to the male population!!!!

It is so useful to be on here and see that others (PWC & NRP) have the same problems, you often end up feeling like the only one and the advice I have received has been of huge benefit. I hope things continue to move forward for you and shall be keeping my fingers firmly crossed that there shall continue to be progress with mine!!

sarahx1

Your welcome.

Hope you have asked for a financial redress aswell as the consolatory payment for the length of time it has taken to obtain the £400, ask for them to look at the timescales and the huge gaps in your case when obviously nothing was done and put to them that if they had done their job, ie inland revenue, land registry and credit reference searches they could have found info and progressed the claim. They should have gotten liability orders, put charges on any property he may own, commital to prison proceedings to ensure payment.
I have just asked for a breakdown of dates when things where done and found huge gaps and have asked for financial redress on these as my claim would have been further on and I would have been in receipt of payments alot sooner. They have agreed I have suffered financial loss through their incompetence and are looking at calculating how much I should have received.

Keep at it, it does pay off, my ex just paid £1000 at court yesterday towards a LO and been ordered to pay every month or face jail:j.

Should not have to come to this of course but they get what is coming to them in the end!

Blonde_Bint

They all get what they are asking for in the end. sometimes the end is a long way a way (many many years in some cases)

I believe what goes around comes around. Just treat people how you would like to be treated and when that gets you nowhere try not to sink to their level while they try to pull you down:mad:

kingfisherblue

amilotte, I hope that everything works out for you - I'm glad that you finally got somewhere, even if you might end up back at square one. At least you can use it as evidence that things have not been properly dealt with in the past and point out that you hope it is not going to be repeated in the future. Good luck with the remainder of your pregnancy - try to relax and have some stress free time.

For myself, it's the first time that I have visited this board - I'm usually over on 'Disability and Dosh'. I chased my ex (via the CSA as he refused to speak to me about money) for regular payments. He was fine at first, until he moved in with his pregnant girlfriend. Then he ran up massive debts - I know this because he tried to make me sell the house to pay for them, and I had to go to court three times to keep it (it has been adapted for our disabled child).

It is now four years since he paid me anything, except for a four month period when i received £5 a week from his JSA. He was out of work for a year, but by the time the CSA took him to court and then the DWP delayed collecting from him, I only received twelve weeks worth of money (£60)

I have been diligent in ringing my local office (Birkenhead - where the staff are quite helpful). earlier this year, one of the staff advised me to make a formal complaint. I had a dissertation to complete at the time, so I told her I would do it when I had finished university. She said that she would note that I was thinking of making the complaint as it might help. A few weeks later, I received a telephone call saying that I would start to receive not only a regular payment, but also the arrears. there were many problems as he moved house, changed jobs several times, failed to inform the CSA each time. At one point he was claiming JSA, but in court, his bank statement showed earnings from an agency (he had become unemployed in May and the earnings were shown for October, November and January)

Finally, after receiving just £60 in four years, I am due to receive regular maintenance plus arrears from a DoE order. The CSA have received the first payment and it will be transferred to my bank account in the coming week.

So to answer your original question, yes, it is worth all the stress - but you might want to limit the stress whilst you are pregnant.

Take care x