Is it really worth all the stress

amilotte

Im having a rant really as don't think there is any advice under my circmstances I just feel the need to have a moan...
I have been fighting with the CSA for the past 9 years and have received a grand total of about £400 if that.

If I give a brief overview of my situation, NRP has his own business a barber shop and has two children that he lives with. There are two PWC that are claiming against him, myself and another person who I am in touch with (we update each other if there is any progress :rolleyes:). He has consistently lied about his income and has told me in the past that he has to be careful what he puts through the books or he will be taxed on a higher rate but then getting £190 a month in tax credits which seems to be an awful lot...... (this has slipped out on the occasions that we have managed to be polite). Unfortunately the business is run on cash so he can basically do as he chooses I guess . He is rubbish with money and as far as I can gather only deals in cash in his personal life (as in no direct debits, pay bills with cash) and so on the face of it probably does not look that well off although, this year, has managed to change his car, get married, buy the latest gadgets, a new sofa and book a holiday to Florida!

My case had been with the debt enforcement team for as long as I can remember and initially it was him who was playing up, changing his circumstances, not paying etc. Now it seems that the CSA are just not doing anything and sitting back and allowing him not to pay!!!!

I have just got off the phone to them only to be fed the same lines as I always am. I was told in March that there was a problem with my file that could not be put onto the computer system and basically I was in a que to move my file somewhere else to a 'clerical team'. At that time I was told they did not know when this would be as my case was 'not priority'!!!! I have today been told the same thing, my case has not budged and will gather dust somewhere for another 6-8 weeks as they are, I quote, 'snowed under'. I am livid, quite how it can take months to post a file to another team I just do not understand (my file has been to so many different offices it is more travelled than I am it would seem lol!). Now, all this time the NRP is sitting pretty knowing that he is not being persued....... for who's benefit is the CSA for as where I am sitting it is for the NRP!!!! There has been no enforcement of any type shown to him which I just do not understand.... I know that cases are progressing through the courts as my Mum deals with them but as ususal my ex is slipping through the net at every turn.

I'm now 24 weeks pregnant and I just don't know if I can deal with any of this any longer, is it really worth all the stress and fighting for what little I have so far received. Whenever I have ever had to call the CSA I can feel my blood boiling :mad:. What is also very depressing is that when I moan to the call handler about how crap the CSA are they are more or less agreeing with me - not too reassuring!! I'm sure the CSA in its current form has been far more damaging to our situation, I just end up feeling so angry with it all. Had the CSA not duped me into believing they would help me I would have cut my losses 9 years ago and got on with it all!

After reading so many of your accounts of fighting and getting nowhere I just feel deflated. I potentially have another 9 years of this. I am currently toying with the idea of reporting him to the Inland Revenue and thus benefits agency but then wonder whether he will just talk his way out of any investigation anyway and as he deals in cash its easy for him to 'cook the books' as he puts it. The guy I have just spoken to has told me to stick with it but is that really the right thing to do? Luckily I have a fantastic husband who has provided for my daughter from day one without question, should I just count my blessings for that and get on with it or stick with my principle that you can't just go around having children with whoever you choose and not face the responsibilities that come with that (I have his eldest child btw and could never have imagined things would have turned out as they have :rolleyes:)

Am I likely to ever reach the point of receiving regular maintenance or will he always have the benefit of stalling the situation by requesting a reassessment of income. Is this just a case of very bad luck that he is self employed and are there ever any self employed success stories I wonder.........

If you have managed to reach the end thanks for listening
A very fed up Amilotte

blimey40

you sound as if you know his every move.

The CSA will deal with it and it won't gather dust

amilotte

Lol, thats a mixture of having a NRP who doesn't realise when its in his best interests to keep his mouth shut and open social networking sites (we actually live hundreds of miles apart!) I have the evidence to prove he is not as skint as he makes out but no where to go with it.....
Thanks for your reply :-)

Blonde_Bint

blimey40 wrote: »

you sound as if you know his every move.

After all this time she probably does:rotfl:. Re sticking it out to the bitter end for what is rightfully your CHILDs you should see Kelloggs. Like a dog with a bone that woman, justice was served for Kelloggs. and quite right but she had to give it everything she had and NEVER quit. now I couldnt be ar sed but I think she's right. I am an NRPP and have never been in position of PWC.

But 400 quid in how many years 9. come on, no way. That is a serious p*ss take. ok maybe he cant afford too much I cant condone trying to bleed someone for every penny but is say for example 100 quid a month too much to ask.:mad:

I feel for your child, you should keep on at him via CSA as this type of NRP is why they the CSA are here.

Blonde_Bint

amilotte wrote: »

Lol, thats a mixture of having a NRP who doesn't realise when its in his best interests to keep his mouth shut and open social networking sites (we actually live hundreds of miles apart!) I have the evidence to prove he is not as skint as he makes out but no where to go with it.....
Thanks for your reply :-)

Just wait for someone more knowledgeable to come along I think there is somewhere you can go with it. But its not easy and its not quick so you have to be prepared for the long haul but as your getting virtually nothing now, what have you got to lose:D

there are some pwc who just want and want its never enough then you come along your NRP doesnt know hes born, he deserves my PWC he does lol. Chin up and stick around because it could be useful for you;)

sarahx1

Thought I was having a rough ride with them!

Is there a current maintenance calculation in place? Have you informed the CSA of his tax credit entitlement I do believe this can be taken into account as earnings. Have the CSA gotten Liability Orders for the debt he owes? I would email a complaint to them seeking a 'special payment' for the incompetent way they have handled your case, the stress, worry, torment they have caused you over the last 9+yrs and the fact that they have only recovered £400 in 9yrs. Ask for money for all your time and phone call costs contacting them.
Have they contacted the Inland Revenue to see how much he has delcared to them?

kelloggs36

Get your MP involved and make a complaint about the length of time it has taken. Gather as much evidence as you can and apply for a variation on the grounds of his lifestyle being inconsistent with his declared income. As the previous poster said, it won't be easy and you will have to have lots of evidence and you will have to appeal as it will be rejected straight away despite what evidence you have!! Appeal and get a tribunal to look at your case.

amilotte

Thank you for all your replies. I have now sent a very long complaint email to them following the advice you have all given I shall await their response :rolleyes:.

Re approaching my MP, I had attempted this a while ago but they were not particularly helpful, I think it was around the time of the big reorganisation. I have not approached them again as I wondered how interested they would be - perhaps I need to reconsider!

sarahx1 - there have been so many maintenance calculations done I cannot keep track! I have a feeling that whenever one is completed he just phones in with so say circumstance changes and he gets reassessed thus delaying the process further. The last one (or so I thought) states that I should be in receipt of £92.92 a month by now but apparently they wrote to me earlier this year with lower figures (I never received anything in writing) and I was told again yesterday that they will have to recalculate AGAIN . Bearing in mind that that figure included £35 in arrears he must be claiming he earns a pittance! As I have never really had any time with a set calculation it is impossible to work out what I am owed, its a nightmare!!!!

Its just so sad that I have to spend so much energy chasing him, I guess he is spending equally as much energy running away all the time :rolleyes:.

Thanks again.

sarahx1

Hey Amilotte, just wondering if you have you had any joy with your complaint email? Have they responded?

Dancing_Shoes

£400 in 9 years!!!!:eek:, this man is a serious child maintenance dodger!:mad:

I have no time for people like this!!

You sound like you have a great oh that has supported you and your daughter, he sounds like he is worth 100 of your ex!

I would say put your health(pregnancy) first and if you feel that it is all too much for nothing then let it go. If you can manage without his money then you may find it a relief to finally be rid of the csa.....but if you don't feel it will affect your health (pregnancy) then pursue the b$%t"£d until he has nowhere left to run;)

Surely these people can't dodge the csa forever????

Good luck with whatever you decide

lallychops

Amilotte...
I completely understand! It is almost as if you wrote that letter about my own situation! Oh how it makes my blood oil hearing things like ..."its gone clerical" !!! what on earth?! Are you, by any chance being dealt with by the Plymouth team? Its almost as if they say these things to blind you with a technical statement that you cant argue about, when in fact you end up completely dumbstruck at the stupidity of the person on the other end of the phone and unable to speak....
I have been fighting a similar situation with the slippery self employed, and after only 4 years do now actually feel that there is a small possibility of progress, but only because I have not been prepared to let go. The things I have learned are:

Client service team - dont even bother having a conversation with these guys. They are so overwhelmed they will say anything to get you off the phone (and admit it)

Debt Enforcement - If you can get someone in this team to keep hold of your case this can help. It is vital though that there is a debt even if it is small for your file to stay here. As soon as your ex pays it will bounce back to client services, so sometimes it helps to actually not chase your money.

You can ask for all your files under the data protection act from Bolton- they have 40 days to produce your files and they make interesting reading . They also give clear evidence of timelines and incompetence if you want to complain/check facts.

Don't phone the CSA when you are feeling stressed out - particularly if it is anger with your ex related. Choose a time when everything is fine (ie plan a specific time to call rather than react to a letter from the csa).

Request a form called an IR720 to be sent to the inland revenue to get his most up to date return. If you don't agree with the amount that he is assessed on after that and if he is living above his means then there is the option of a variation - although I have been advised not to bother as they usually prove unsuccessful due to the NRP being able to say he has got money for exotic holidays from anywhere and as long as the Inland revenue are happy with his income then so are the CSA....grrrrrr

Criminal compliance - once these guys get involved it seems they mean business. They have powers to look at al bank accounts etc and to decide for themselves if they feel lifestyle inconsistent with earnings.
If an agent suggests that they "might" do something such as get criminal compliance involved / raise a telephone complaint (anyone heard of this one?!) then don't let go of this until its done, call back check up chase until you know it has been seen through every day if necessary.

Find an agent that you feel confident they can be bothered to deal with a not so straightforward case (not always easy i know!) and make sure you speak to that person every time even if they are not your case worker.

I hope some of that is useful to you - the most important thing is keep it in perspective and don't let it take over your life as if your ex really doesn't want to pay it will be very hard to ever get anywhere. Having said that your child deserves a parent that understands their responsibilities - and is made to face up to them not simply allowed to father a child and let others pick up the bill.

Good luck and let us know if any progress?!