Parental Responsibility

Becles

Another thing we should have thought about before now!

Does a step father gain parental responsibility of children when he marries their mother?

My childrens father has parental responsibility as we were married when they were born and he's on their birth certificates. I don't think he would agree to giving that up, and I think it is unfair to ask him to do so.

I just wondered what rights will my new hubby have over my children? He mainly wants some sort of parental responsibility so he can take them to hospital if they have an accident, and collect them from school if they are sick. It's just everyday things that he might need to deal with and he doesn't want to push their real Dad out of things.

Spendless

Becles wrote:

I just wondered what rights will my new hubby have over my children? He mainly wants some sort of parental responsibility so he can take them to hospital if they have an accident, and collect them from school if they are sick. It's just everyday things that he might need to deal with and he doesn't want to push their real Dad out of things.

Do you need parental responsibility for these things . My nan in-laws and parents are named as contacts for school and who is authorised to pick up and they don't have PR. I just filled in a form from the school.

Bossyboots

I thought we had covered this some time ago Becles but perhaps you didn't take part in the thread at that time.

The answer is no, your husband will not acquire parental responsibility upon your marriage. Your ex also cannot just give up his parental responsibility, despite what some might tell you they have done in the past.

However, your new husband will become the children's primary carer and as such he will have day to day rights in certain things. He will be allowed to collect the children from school but you will need to notify them that you are married, don't just leave them to assume things. He will also be allowed to take them to hospital and the doctors and things like that. As you say, it is the everyday things and as primary carer he will be allowed to do them. He would not be able, for example, change your children's school or their names or major decisions like that.

After three years, your husband can apply to the court for a residence order. This will convey parental responsibility on him. It will not however remove PR from your children's natural father, it will just increase the number of people who have in relation to them.

Becles

Spendless wrote:

Do you need parental responsibility for these things .

School said so.

Craig is on the contact list which I filled in at the beginning of last term, and he's picked them up at normal school time before.

However the youngest was ill at school last week and as I was doing work where I had to have my mobile switched off, half an hour had passed before I got the message. It then took me 20 mins to drive home so it was nearly an hour after he'd taken ill before I got to the school. Craig was in the house a few minutes away from school, but they said they couldn't let my son go with him as he hasn't got parental responsibility.

Bossyboots

Spendless wrote:

Do you need parental responsibility for these things . My nan in-laws and parents are named as contacts for school and who is authorised to pick up and they don't have PR. I just filled in a form from the school.

They wouldn't however be able to authorise any medical treatment or discuss the child's progress at school.

The idea of having named contacts for collecting children is for security. You can ask anyone you like to collect a child but obviously for security, schools like to know who is going to be doing this and to have someone they can contact apart from the parents during the day should the need arise.

Becles

Bossyboots wrote:

After three years, your husband can apply to the court for a residence order. This will convey parental responsibility on him. It will not however remove PR from your children's natural father, it will just increase the number of people who have in relation to them.

I missed the original thread, but thanks for that information.

I think that's the best solution as adoption looks like it cuts the natural father out full stop, which isn't right.

Bossyboots

Becles wrote:

School said so.

Craig is on the contact list which I filled in at the beginning of last term, and he's picked them up at normal school time before.

However the youngest was ill at school last week and as I was doing work where I had to have my mobile switched off, half an hour had passed before I got the message. It then took me 20 mins to drive home so it was nearly an hour after he'd taken ill before I got to the school. Craig was in the house a few minutes away from school, but they said they couldn't let my son go with him as he hasn't got parental responsibility.

The school were wrong. If he is a named contact and regular collector from school they could have let him go. Goodness, if the school my children were at had applied that rule I can think of two occasions they would have sat there sick waiting for me. Once I was at a funeral and my MIL was contacted to collect my son.

Anyway, once you are married he becomes the primary carer so the issue shouldn't arise again.

Bossyboots

Becles wrote:

I missed the original thread, but thanks for that information.

I think that's the best solution as adoption looks like it cuts the natural father out full stop, which isn't right.

Thats true and how lovely it is to hear a parent not wanting to cut out the other natural parent.

Their father would have to agree to the adoption anyway and if he objects, you would have to have strong grounds why it should be granted in the face of those objections and it doesn't sound as if that is likely to be the case.

I can't find the old thread. I am wondering whether it was even before you joined so I will try to help with any other info I can if you need it. I have to go out soon for probably the rest of the day but will check back in tomorrow if you need any more help.

Pooky

We applied to the court for Parental Responsibility for DH, just after we got married, it cost us around £30 (if I remember rightly) and took a few weeks to go through - we had to go to the county court and give reasons, we wanted it for the medical and school reasons. Ex agreed that it was worth it incase of emergancy and he lost nothing....he had to sign to say he agreed and it all went smoothly.