What's life after Bankruptcy actually like ?

mazzatee

Hi gemma

Which court did you go to? Your experience is VERY unusual as most people find the court process quite painless.

gemma7wayne

I went to barnstaple court and it was a female judge she told me i was stupid and i would never get a job or go abroad ever again because no one would want someone like me to work for them and i would not be allowed in other countries because i am a disgrace.

I felt so small and ashamed and was in tears and as i was leaving the room she told me to stop crying as other people would think she was a nasty piece of work!

antarctica

gemma7wayne wrote: »

I went to barnstaple court and it was a female judge she told me i was stupid and i would never get a job or go abroad ever again because no one would want someone like me to work for them and i would not be allowed in other countries because i am a disgrace.

I felt so small and ashamed and was in tears and as i was leaving the room she told me to stop crying as other people would think she was a nasty piece of work!

I would have definitely complained. No one should be allowed to treat you like that!

You're in debt, you're not a bloody criminal. Actually even criminals don't get treated like that!

That has made me really angry! :mad:

and what is the BS about not being allowed in other countries?!

gemma7wayne

i didnt understand that either i asked cab about it after and they said some countries u need a visa from can deny access but its very few and its normally if u want to be there for more then a holiday period.

I also told them about how she treated me and they said i was unlucky getting her cuz she has a right chip ob her shoulder about BR.

BDB1

Deciding to apply for bankruptcy was the biggest, hardest and yet easiest decision i have ever made.

It absolutely is a choice, same as everything in life is a choice, its just that sometimes it seems that there are no choices available.

I dont regret for one second the decision we made to declare ourselves bankrupt, my family life has become infinitely more enjoyable, we actually spend real money that we earn, our little boy even seems happier (probably because he gets the odd treat now :T)

We havent faced any of the problems that some people seem to have, we changed utilities suppliers no problem at all, virgin media have been fine etc etc.

We find that we appreciate what we do have a whole lot more than some of our friends , we go bargain shopping we do grocery shopping with say a £50 budget and actually have fun sticking to it.

But the main thing is that we do not worry anymore, we dont worry whats going to happen in the future because from the day we were declared bankrupt the future has been ours to shape as we see fit.

No one can say anything to you that is worse than the horrible thoughts that go through your mind when layed in bed awake worrying about how you will pay that bill or if you can transfer a small balance to another card so that you can at least feed the kids.....those thoughts are gone now, they have been replaced with pleasant dreams and endless discussions with the wife about what we can save up for, what the kids would like to do...the list is endless.

Bankruptcy was the best option for us, no doubt about it and living with it is much more pleasant than livving in fear of the doorbell or telephone to be honest, dont get me wrong its not easy by any means, but it is better.

kew63

What a total and utter cow !! Really shocked to hear about that judge and so sorry you had such a horrible time.
I always think people shouldnt be so judgemental, you never know what twists & turns life will take - and you might find yourself in a situation that you've previously sneered at. Lets hope life throws some big boulders through that judges glasshouse and maybe she'll learn a bit of humility & compassion.
Dealing with your problems is NEVER something to be ashamed of ...

kew63

Tammera wrote: »

Not to sound judgmental, but if its something you can decide on then it doesnt sound like you need to, bankruptsy is for people that have no choice.

Take your point completely, what should have explained is hubbie's debts are purely from business. How things go on from here depends on what he's liable for, if it's not too bad then he could go DMP route but if it all falls in his lap, which to be honest is more likely then facing £40-50k of debt is going to take donkeys years.
Seeing an Insolvancy Practioner/Accountant on Thu and hopefully we'll have more info to go forward with.

Thanks to everyone for their stories though, it is good to hear the honest truth and sure lots of other people will get a lot of comfort and help from what you've said.

Thanks again :-)

Pobby

Whilst I understand that for many people going bankrupt it is not due to their stupid decisions but about bad choices/ failing businesses.

To balance this out, I must also say that I have been on the other end, a couple of people going bankrupt on me. I have a very small business. One guy was just little more than a crook imho, the other guy did promise that when he was back on his feet he would make some form of compensation. I heard that he has come into money, not yet a penny seen this end.

I am not bothered by banks, credit card companies losing out but I would ask that you spare althought for the little guy like me.

BDB1

Pobby wrote: »

Whilst I understand that for many people going bankrupt it is not due to their stupid decisions but about bad choices/ failing businesses.

To balance this out, I must also say that I have been on the other end, a couple of people going bankrupt on me. I have a very small business. One guy was just little more than a crook imho, the other guy did promise that when he was back on his feet he would make some form of compensation. I heard that he has come into money, not yet a penny seen this end.

I am not bothered by banks, credit card companies losing out but I would ask that you spare althought for the little guy like me.

Completely agree Pobby.

One thing that i do regret about our bankruptcy is not being able to pay back the companies that helped us and were sympathetic etc due to the restraints that the OR has put on us.

I really would have liked to have given something to them, even a small amount.

gforster

Went BR in Apr 05 and was discharged in Nov 05.

The actual process was not easy and you have to be prepared for what can be a very hard time with interviews with OR etc etc.

Once I had gone through the worst I actually told all my friends and family, was completely open and honest about it and it immediately removed all the stigma of them finding out behind my back etc.

Have completely moved on now and I can honestly say it has not affected my life badly in hardly anyway.

Opened a basic bank account with Nationwide the same day that I went BR, 6 months later after being discharged they allowed me to open a current account (no debit card or cheque book).

Managed to get a mortgage 2 years ago in March 07

I have never gone back to get credit and haven't even applied for a debit card, I pay my bills on the 1st of the month (no debt) and move the rest of the money to a savings account on the 2nd of each month. Then i use a hole in the wall for spends from that account so I can't go overdrawn (no overdraft !).

The only downside is I can't get petrol from asda as they only have serve yourself pumps for cards.

Internet purchases I ask a family member to use their debit card and give them cash up front, I have thought about a pre-pay card for this but think that it is an added cost that is unnecessary.

Have no problems with Jobs, Travelling, Bills, Insurances etc etc and they have always treated me as they would anyone else. Occasionaly I have to tick a box that says "have you ever been made bankrupt" and to me now it doesn't feel any different from other questions on the form like "how long have you held your current account for ?".

BR is there for people who simply cannot get out of their situation and to give them a second chance, it is exactly that, it is not designed to keep you a second class citizen forever afterwards.

If you approach BR with a positive attitude and become a little more thick skinned to that odd person who thinks it can't possibly happen to them then you will be fine.