What Caused Your Debt in the First Place

tesuhoha

Montymoo wrote:

Mine is a combination of
1) going to university (what a waste of money, never been able to get a job that requires a degree)
2) my job in sales with unreachable targets that meant i and many others in the company had to live on our credit cards
3) leaving my job to relocate to the other side of the country due to my partners job
4) the old going over the overdraft, being charged cycle

have you tried claiming back those charges

tesuhoha

Thanks for all the stories so far. The essays are much appreciated. Some of your stories are so sad, makes me realise ive got nothing to gripe about.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

tesuhoha wrote:

I know im being a bit nosey but I thought it might be interesting to find out how we all got ourselves into this situation with the debt. Was it just uncontrolled spending at the shops, losing a job, breaking up with a partner or something else. My excessive debt was caused by sending my kids to private school. My son went to a grammar school but last year failed all his GCSEs so i am currently paying £1115 a month so that he can retake some of his GCSEs and do some AS levels at a very expensive local college. There was nothing else on offer at the time for him. I am also supporting my daughter through university paying her fees and rent. We have hardly any money and are paying off debts of £17,000 but it is a terrible struggle. Both children went to a private primary school and my daughter had a means tested assisted place at her school so we ended up paying fees. We wanted them to have a good education but if i could go back i would do it differently. Both of them have turned out selfish and ungrateful and the boy is lazy. We are deep in debt and dont have much of a house. We could have done a lot better with our money. After this year if whether or not he fails his AS levels we wont be sending our boy back to the same college. He will have to do A levels elsewhere. We are going to think of ourselves now.

Hi Tesuhola,

I admire your honesty. But why are you paying £1115 a month so your boy can retake his GCSE's at a private college ?

You say he went to private school and a grammar school. So he has already had an excellent educational opportunity.

If he has decided not to take those opportunities through being lazy or just not being academically orientated then why throw more money down the drain and risk the families financial security.

If he really wants to retake them let him go to the local free college and get on with it.

Not all kids are academic,maybe he should get out in the world of work / get a trade etc he might enjoy this more and be more happy and earn more money (never did Richard Branson,John Major or Alan Sugar etc etc any harm leaving school at 16) ie you can not be suited to studying etc but still be a big success in life.

You also say you are trying to help your daughter through uni but she off booking holidays to thailand !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you sound like a great parent (ie committed to your kids education / future) but I think the kids are taking the mick out of you.

I would tell them to get part time jobs and get on with it if they want to study.

Save your money for your self, you have already gone way beyond the call of duty in regards to their academic education and are not doing you or them any favours by spending all that money on something which does not seem to be appreciated or even benefit themetc etc.

If they are academically bright / motivated they will make it if not it does not matter how much money you throw at it it wont make a difference.

sorry to digress from the main point of the thread.

I am not having a go you sound like a great parent but just giving you another perspective.

Good luck !!!

desperatelyseekingmoney_2

Mine started when I was on maternity leave with my first child. This was just over 8 years ago, and we couldn't afford everything with hubbies pay and my maternity pay. So we got a loan and a credit card, then we consolidated and consolidated. Fell pregnant again so more spent on credit card and then consolidated. We then turned to Baines & Ernst (I know they charge!!!). After about 6 months we changed to CCCS as we was still getting threatening letters and phone calls and CCS was free!!!

We then remortgaged our house to pay everything except one loan off. We THEN moved to a better part of town and was accepted for a credit card (even though we had defaults etc). The spending then got out of control again. I have got 2 credit cards and a catalogue account (my total outstanding in my signature) and hubby has 2 credit cards and now one loan.

So not only did we get ourselves in a mess and got ourselves out of it, we did not learn and now we are back to square one. The only thing different this time is we have seen the error of our ways and we are trying to rectify this and we WILL NOT do this again.

tesuhoha

Answering Bestthingsinlifearefree. GCSE retakes were not available at our local college and we could not find anything available to himthat he wanted to do. The day my son got his results was heartbreaking; he said that his life was over. On that day if I had had a million pounds I would have handed it over to help him out. He didnt get off scot free, I cancelled his trip to Japan that he was supposed to have in the grammar school 6th form and my hubby was so upset he smashed up his Xbox (hes addicted to computer games). We are hoping that he will get the grades to continue next year at a normal college. He is clever but lazy. Well spoken but not much else going for him. He is not at all street wise or practical. He is no Alan Sugar, shy and quiet and we dont know what else is open to him other than uni. I am committed to helping my daughter through uni but will not finance her debt. She is very bright and she will have to learn by her mistakes when she leaves. I want them both to do well and maybe they will one day.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

tesuhoha wrote:

Answering Bestthingsinlifearefree. GCSE retakes were not available at our local college and we could not find anything available to himthat he wanted to do. The day my son got his results was heartbreaking; he said that his life was over. On that day if I had had a million pounds I would have handed it over to help him out. He didnt get off scot free, I cancelled his trip to Japan that he was supposed to have in the grammar school 6th form and my hubby was so upset he smashed up his Xbox (hes addicted to computer games). We are hoping that he will get the grades to continue next year at a normal college. He is clever but lazy. Well spoken but not much else going for him. He is not at all street wise or practical. He is no Alan Sugar, shy and quiet and we dont know what else is open to him other than uni. I am committed to helping my daughter through uni but will not finance her debt. She is very bright and she will have to learn by her mistakes when she leaves. I want them both to do well and maybe they will one day.

Hi Teshuala,

Every kid who thinks the day they fail their exams their life is over, need to be gently explained exams are not the be all or end all and if you did not put the work in you can not expect great results. If you did put the work in and did not get good results then maybe you are just not academically orientated. Its not the end of the world.

If he is clever but lazy what the point of him going to UNI ? ie a private college will push him to get through the GCSE's but who will motivate him through uni.

I cannot believe their is no state college in your area which offer GCSE retakes etc ??? (if that is the case that is amazing as every town has a college for GCSE's)

The most important thing for studying is to study some thing you enjoy rather than study just to study.

If he is not genuinely interested in his subjects it will always be a battle.

I would find out what he is really interested in and get him to follow something in that area be it in via studying / work.

My parents really wanted me to learn a musical intstrument ( I was not bothered) they paid for lessons, bought a clarinet etc etc

Eventually the music teacher kindly told them to save their money one because I was not interested ( and I am still not) and to I had no talent in that area.

My parents could have got Andrew Llyoyd webber, meat loaf and elvis all to try to interest me in music and it still would not have worked as I just was not interested in that, and was to lazy (though clever) to be bothered to learn music.

I am glad that music teacher saved my parents the money !!!!!!!!!!

Find out what he is good at / enjoys / is interested in e.g computer game / computers, cars , history and suppport him in that direction be it via work or study or a combination.

Its tough for kids who are not academic to feel they must stay on the exam conveyor belt to be a success there are lots of other options.

Just a few thoughts (maybe it should be a separate thread else where)

Sorry to hijack the thread.

Good discussion.

lynzpower

Completely agree with bestthinginlifearefree here, I was pushed through uni and even though I wanted to go, I couldnt really see the point, apart from having a laff. True enough. Ive got a 5 GCSE job and 6 years of debt out of it. Uni is not the best thing for kids, unles they want to specifically train as being a doctor/ engineer etc. I wish my parents hadnt been so blo**y supportive, Its certainly done me no favours in the long run. T, if your son doenst know what he wants to do now, pushing him into doing something he might only have half an interest in, is going to do more harm than good, and land him in massive debt.

Sorry to interfere, but I feel so passionately about this issue.

tesuhoha

Well as i said this is the last year and then it will be up to him. He has a year of A levels in front of him so that will prove whether or not he is suited for study as he will have to do this at his old school or at a local college. At least we will feel that we did all we could and if he gets a job after this year we will not have any doubt that he could have gone to uni. Back later going out now

Bestthingsinlifearefree

good points lynz power

ooops every one is joining in now !!!

I personally went to state schools / got a degree etc etc but I loved my subjects.

If my children want to go to uni and are academically orientated that fine.

If they prefer to learn a trade e.g hair dresser,plumber, progress through the ranks of a company etc. thats fine to

Both ways are fine by me as long as they do something they enjoy.

BOTH ROUTES ARE EQUALLY VALID and WORTHY.

I think all kids should have the opportunity of a decent education (and your kids sound like they have had that).

If they take to that opportunity thats fine if not they can be a success in many other ways / fields.

ooops I am getting passionate to now.

Good discussion.

black-saturn

I was pushed through Uni too. I didnt even do GCSE's as I was considered too clever for them and went straight onto A levels of which I got 7 of them at grade A :A Everyone said I should go onto Uni and I did and got a degree in publicity and marketing. Then I did an extra year specialising in theatrical publicity. Then I got a job in a theatre and then I had 2 children. Now I'm working from home and studing for a diploma in travel and tourism. I could never see the point in going to uni either.