Stepchildren and bedrooms

doelani

Over the years and as my childen have grown up the configeration of bedrooms have changed.

Fistly...
Son1..own room
Son2..own room
Daughter...own room
2 stepdaughters and stepson in one room ( they were young and had bunks with double on bottom)

As my kids where older and lived here fulltime they had their own rooms. Now things have changed and over they years when my eldest left hoom my 2 stepdaughters moved to his room so was.

Son2..own room
Daughter..own room
2 x stepdaughters...shared room
Stepson...own room

Then things got complicated when a grandchild came along.:D so rooms changed again :rolleyes:

Son..own room
stepson...own room
stepdaughter and grandchild...share room
daughter and stepdaughter...share room :eek: this is disaster as daughter works shifts so really needs her own room , stepdaughter is always " borrowiing" her things after a year I am fed up with complaints.

So nowwwwwwwwww my son is leaving home, he only stays here now 2 nights a week and will be moving out about september. Ideal opertunity to give kids a room each, apart form grandchild who will still share with his mum.

I have 2 problems though,

First: stepsons room is smallest room, he stays more then stepdaughter who shares at minute with my daughter so we feel he should get my sons room and stepdaughter who sometimes only stays 1 night a week should get smallest room. She is not happy about this. We have explained this is OUR house so our decission where people sleep.

Second: At the minute painting stepsons room and have decided to do it a neutral colour so ocme september when room change around will not need painted again. This is causing problems as I do not want to waste the money " accessorising" the room for a boy for the sake of 2 months to tehn change it for a girl. Just cannot afford it. My thinking is keep it all neutral as this room will only be used once a week after september I woudl rather refer to this room as a "spare" room rather than " stepdaughters" room. They are very teritorial about rooms and on the odd night when hubby or I go to another room, his snoring lol, we feel guilty about sleeping in x,y or z bed.

Sorry this is a bit long, just so complicated lol The real question is if you have stepchildren do they sleep in " spare room" or do they have their own room? I will add they are all teenagers who so not have toys etc any more so only things they keep here are sleepwear and toiletries. They will also probally all stop coming withing the next 3 years. I am just sick of changing rooms around !!!!

SugarSpun

I'm not a stepchild, but when I go back to my parents' house I sleep in their guest room. I don't live there any more, and so they have the right to have the room as they please. They like that it is neutral for others to stay there - so although I have a drawer in there with spare pajamas/underwear/bits of things it's their guestroom and I am a very welcome and much loved guest. That's all.

I'd tell the stepdaughter to put her big girl pants on and recognise that she's moved on and moved out.

sooz

I'm confused by who is where
But agree that there should be your bedroom, & if no one else lives with you, then all the rest are your guest rooms. Decorate them as you choose, & put your stuff in them. Perhaps, if you are feeling generous, allocate a drawer to frequent guests.

doelani

sooz wrote: »

I'm confused by who is where

me to sometimes, one of the joys of a large family lol

nickyhutch

When I was a step, I slept in a spare room. My 2 steps, when they come, share with my DS because there's room and they all want to share (15, 14 and 12) so they can watch telly, Xbox etc). There is a spare room, but it's PC/treadmill etc etc, and we never changed it into another bedroom as they're happy to share.

I think it's unreasonable of your steps/kids to expect a room kitted out for them if they don't stay there the whole time.

newcook

When me and my brother used to stay with my dad and stepmom at weekends we used to have our own bedrooms (they didn’t have any children between them) and they were called our bedrooms until we had got our own places and no longer stayed there. I'd have been quite upset if they had refered them to 'spare rooms'.

While I appreciate that theoretically we were guests of a weekend we were told that it was also our home - we had our own keys, friends used to call us there of a weekend, we kept clothes there so we wouldn’t have to cart change of clothes about school on a Friday etc.

It is hard enough for kids with divorced parents without having to feel that you are a 'guest' in their house

chatnoir

my parents are split and I now have many step brothers/sisters...when we moved into my stepdads house we all had our own room as we all lived there full time. But when I went to my dads every other weekend we had to sleep on the sofa or mattress on front room floor! I never felt part of the new "family" and always felt like a guest. I think as they are teenagers so techincally "children" they should have there own room if you have the space, once they have there own rooms turn them back to spare rooms. Having extended step families is hard specially when you don't see one parent everyday and your new step family sees them all the time, you need to make them feel as much a part of the family as you can

Good luck xox