*^*^* Friday 3rd July - Daily Chat...No Sanity Required *^*^*

jinky67

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I have just really ripped into my OH

I've basically said that if he can't be bothered to be here then his priorities are obviously elsewhere and his repeated actions of not turning up until this time of night emphasise the situation. He doesn't see it as a problem and says why should he be just turning up here to just sit and watch tv. I went mad and reeled off all the stuff I've suggested over the years we could do but he doesn't want to/is too tired/can't be bothered/he's already out the next night etc and he still doesn't get it. I have said he either does get it and is just pleasing himself to do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants or he is extraordinarily dense because this is the same conversation we keep having, but with a shorter time scale between the conversations - last time was about a week ago and he seems to have 'forgotten' already.

I really can't keep going on with this. I told him if he wanted to be on his own then all he had to do was say, or if this was really his idea of a relationship, again, all he has to do is say. He said he doesn't want to be on his own. I've told him he is throwing it away but he has no answers and says that we do 'plenty' of stuff together - I asked what? He said 'we go on holiday'.

For the first time ever, I said that 'my friends can't believe what time you arrive and that you never want to spend time with me'. There was a long silence.......followed by 'what has it got to do with your friends'.....

Good for you:T:T:T:T:T

Buffythedebtslayer

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I have just really ripped into my OH

I've basically said that if he can't be bothered to be here then his priorities are obviously elsewhere and his repeated actions of not turning up until this time of night emphasise the situation. He doesn't see it as a problem and says why should he be just turning up here to just sit and watch tv. I went mad and reeled off all the stuff I've suggested over the years we could do but he doesn't want to/is too tired/can't be bothered/he's already out the next night etc and he still doesn't get it. I have said he either does get it and is just pleasing himself to do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants or he is extraordinarily dense because this is the same conversation we keep having, but with a shorter time scale between the conversations - last time was about a week ago and he seems to have 'forgotten' already.

I really can't keep going on with this. I told him if he wanted to be on his own then all he had to do was say, or if this was really his idea of a relationship, again, all he has to do is say. He said he doesn't want to be on his own. I've told him he is throwing it away but he has no answers and says that we do 'plenty' of stuff together - I asked what? He said 'we go on holiday'.

For the first time ever, I said that 'my friends can't believe what time you arrive and that you never want to spend time with me'. There was a long silence.......followed by 'what has it got to do with your friends'.....

*picks up Poms poms she keeps by the sofa and begins to chant*


Go BB! Go BB! Go BB!

:TYou get in there girl! Brilliant stuff :T



*not as eloquent as Snags but you get the idea*

beanielou

bookseller1980 wrote: »

I am the problem because the sums all work out if I didn't have to be in it. You work to give your kids a life not a worry. Your parents work to give you a life and to be independent. I have failed on both counts.

I know where you are coming from on the parents front.
I do worry because I know that my mum worries so so much about me but thats what she does & I hate being nealy 50 & having to get her to help with things.But as has been said thats what parents do & we would do the same for our children.

Toto

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I have just really ripped into my OH

I've basically said that if he can't be bothered to be here then his priorities are obviously elsewhere and his repeated actions of not turning up until this time of night emphasise the situation. He doesn't see it as a problem and says why should he be just turning up here to just sit and watch tv. I went mad and reeled off all the stuff I've suggested over the years we could do but he doesn't want to/is too tired/can't be bothered/he's already out the next night etc and he still doesn't get it. I have said he either does get it and is just pleasing himself to do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants or he is extraordinarily dense because this is the same conversation we keep having, but with a shorter time scale between the conversations - last time was about a week ago and he seems to have 'forgotten' already.

I really can't keep going on with this. I told him if he wanted to be on his own then all he had to do was say, or if this was really his idea of a relationship, again, all he has to do is say. He said he doesn't want to be on his own. I've told him he is throwing it away but he has no answers and says that we do 'plenty' of stuff together - I asked what? He said 'we go on holiday'.

For the first time ever, I said that 'my friends can't believe what time you arrive and that you never want to spend time with me'. There was a long silence.......followed by 'what has it got to do with your friends'.....

Because we spend a lot more time with you than he does :rotfl:

ZTD

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

*picks up Poms poms she keeps by the sofa and begins to chant*


Go BB! Go BB! Go BB!

:TYou get in there girl! Brilliant stuff :T



*not as eloquent as Snags but you get the idea*

To get a job done, you not only need the sharp knife, but the blunt hammer.

skint_spice

Bookie, you're a brave lady and you'll get through this. Your family sounds lovely.

Beanie, B&Q do cheapish wellies or they used to not that exciting but would do the job.

BB, go girl! about time too.

Hello to everyone else!

P.S. did I miss twitty's explanation?

sammy115

Bookie, about six years ago my mum was having terrible financial problems so i bought her house off her - I then had two mortgages. I paid her mortgage for her and she continued to live in her house. It released some equity for her and I could afford the mortgage as well. We also did the same with OH's mum and dad, albeit there were four of us to take on the tiny mortgage.

Two years down the line me and OH lost our jobs and we were stuffed 2.5 mortgages and no money. Simple, my mum sold her house again! my house, her house, I lost count. She now rents and loves it!!!!!

My daughter (who was 16 at the time) was lending me her part time wages and we were taking her coppers to the money machine that takes coppers to buy food. It was a desperate time. The lowest point was when I couldn't afford to buy her a prom dress. I was flooded with offers from people on here.

Now I am lending her the deposit for a mortgage.

Its swings and roundabouts. No one knows what life is going to throw at you, but be proud that people don't want to see you suffer. Take the offers of help as the compliments they are.

One day you will come out of the fog and remember the dark times, not always with fondness, but you will have taken something from the experience, then just pay it forward.......

We love you you know....

bookseller1980

ZTD wrote: »

Defining the exact problem and its extent is half of the problem. Well done you.

:grouphug:

And having found the problem the solution is to eliminate it, right?

whatatwit

Big hugs to Bookie......you are not a failure sweetie, the nature of purchasing has changed since you went into business.
Enjoy your closing down sale....by telling them all that you are closing due to Amazon and online shoppers etc and the supermarkets wanting to sell everything.

Anyway.....confession time, although with a jury here, maybe I should keep my mouth shut.
I'm 99.9% certain that the owner of said vehicle has helped themselves to money at my shop whilst on the pretence of helping out my member of staff. Vehicle has then been parked on my car park outside shop for over 2 hours....no sign of owner.
So, before I left work, I used a little screw and pssssssst...not quite a flat, but it made me snigger.
This is not the first time with the money, not a huge amount but any amount is too much.

sammy115

BB - just for you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E-WasNzVpI&feature=fvst

It is Friday after all..................isn't it?