*^*^* Friday 3rd July - Daily Chat...No Sanity Required *^*^*

becky_rtw

Bookie can you not sell and rent for while to get back on your feet??

Hope you manage to find a solution that works for you!

bank_of_slate

jinky67 wrote: »

Now you know i cant tell you a thing:A

You can talk about it once it's all done and over though!
...Linda xx

sammy115

bookseller1980 wrote: »

Therefore it is me who is the problem!
(don't worry - I won't!).

You aren't the problem..... how do you work that one out....circumstance, life, turn of events, downturn in economic climate....choose any of these, but NOT you!

Tell your parents to stop worrying about you (can't be done) your DD's are a credit to you if they want to help. Bookie, you aren't a burden, don't feel bad because you are in this situation.

I hope you told the landlord to fook off....(scuse me language)

bookseller1980

sammy115 wrote: »

You aren't the problem..... how do you work that one out....circumstance, life, turn of events, downturn in economic climate....choose any of these, but NOT you!

Tell your parents to stop worrying about you (can't be done) your DD's are a credit to you if they want to help. Bookie, you aren't a burden, don't feel bad because you are in this situation.

I hope you told the landlord to fook off....(scuse me language)

I am the problem because the sums all work out if I didn't have to be in it. You work to give your kids a life not a worry. Your parents work to give you a life and to be independent. I have failed on both counts.

Snaggles

bookseller1980 wrote: »

Thanks.
I am just so upset. I have my 78 year old parents worried to death and trying to raise money to help me. I have my DD1 who should be enjoying her baby trying to help. I have DD2 thinking she needs to give up her independence and move in with me to help me. It's not fair on any of them.
If I sell the house the equity will cover the business debts and mortgage. Nothing left for me though.
Therefore it is me who is the problem!
(don't worry - I won't!).

Goodness Bookie, you really do sound unhappy. :grouphug:

Right - a few truths:

You have sucessfully been a good enough daughter for your parents to still love you and want to help you even at age 78 (and I'm pretty sure there is no cut-off age for worrying about your kids, so stop with the guilt - if they weren't worrying about this, it would be something else - it's what parents do!).

You have sucessfully raised a daughter who loves you so much that she wants to help even though she's probably quite busy with her new baby (and she's a woman, she can multitask - so she can easily enjoy parenthood and be concerned about you, at the same time - clever how us girls do that eh?).

You have sucessfully raised another daughter who loves you so much she would move back in to help you (I'm sorry, I wouldn't do that for my parents no matter how much financial difficulty they were in - it would be torture - so you must have raised a much nicer child than I am!! ). You must be a brilliant Mum if a) she could cope with that and b) she wants to do that.

If you sell the house, you will have enough money to cover all your debts and have a completely fresh start. You could get a job, rent somewhere nice, and have a life that is free from all this stress.

OR, you could plug away at the debts with our help, get a job, and join the rest of us fighting to keep up to date with mortgage payments etc (you'll be in good company here!)

Sorry if any of that seems patronising or simplistic - but sometimes you just have to look past the complications and the niggly problems, and see that actually, things ARE pretty simple, it's just us that over-complicate them, with our worries about being seen to fail, keeping up appearances, keeping up with the Joneses etc.

You're not alone - you have friends and family around you, and you have us lot. We're not stupid mugs who will befriend anyone. If we like you, you must be a good person. So it's not you.

And anyway, since when does being crap with money make you less of a worthwhile person? :whistle:

jinky67

bank_of_slate wrote: »

You can talk about it once it's all done and over though!
...Linda xx

all i can say is they found him guilty and i dont think it was right:cool:

becky_rtw

On a completely unrelated matter - I think our freezer is dead - its been unuseable for ages due to the door not sealing properly so it just ices up - but it now appears to be leaking water everywhere :eek:

I'm going away tomorrow - I've told my flatmates about it happening once so I'm just going to pretend I havent seen it this time - is that wrong??

becky_rtw

I had one like that Jinky - luckily the judge ordered a not guilty verdict on us because he ruled there wasnt any evidence...even though we'd returned a guilty verdict (not me of course)...

Burlesque_Babe

I have just really ripped into my OH

I've basically said that if he can't be bothered to be here then his priorities are obviously elsewhere and his repeated actions of not turning up until this time of night emphasise the situation. He doesn't see it as a problem and says why should he be just turning up here to just sit and watch tv. I went mad and reeled off all the stuff I've suggested over the years we could do but he doesn't want to/is too tired/can't be bothered/he's already out the next night etc and he still doesn't get it. I have said he either does get it and is just pleasing himself to do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants or he is extraordinarily dense because this is the same conversation we keep having, but with a shorter time scale between the conversations - last time was about a week ago and he seems to have 'forgotten' already.

I really can't keep going on with this. I told him if he wanted to be on his own then all he had to do was say, or if this was really his idea of a relationship, again, all he has to do is say. He said he doesn't want to be on his own. I've told him he is throwing it away but he has no answers and says that we do 'plenty' of stuff together - I asked what? He said 'we go on holiday'.

For the first time ever, I said that 'my friends can't believe what time you arrive and that you never want to spend time with me'. There was a long silence.......followed by 'what has it got to do with your friends'.....

beanielou

What sammy says too Bookie.
You are so so lucky to have such a lovely family Bookie who obviosly care about you very much & you just cant buy that.
Please be kind to yourself & know we are all here for you
Love Lou xx