I need your advise

shopaholic_shiv

HELP!! me and my boyfriend got a joint mortgage two years ago, after proposing to me in November he has just told me that he met a married woman from work and that they have been having an affair since Christmas. He continued "planning our wedding" with me to "keep his options open" as he wasn't 100% she'd leave her husband for him. Which now she has...

He has moved back to his parents, with her i might add, and i am living in our house. We are in negitive equity at the moment and if we sold now we'd loose and owe alot so ideally we want to keep hold of it untill the prices go up and we can get a bit back if anything at all but at least no loss.

I don't earn enough to be on the mortgage alone and neither does he so we think it might be a good idea for me to carry on as i am, he'll still give a small direct debit towards the morgage/bills (as his name is still on it and is still investing but only a small amout as he's not living there) and then rent the spare room out to a lodger!

What i want to know is if this sounds feasable and if there is anything we can get signed so neither of us will pull out leaving the other in the s**t without the high cost of solisiters!!

Please help me!

Gwhiz

I'm sure someone with more knowledge will answer here, but...basically you are both liable for the mortgage whatever so if one of you stopped paying and the house was repossessed you would both be liable for the shortfall. I cannot see any agreement being enforceable above the one you agreed to with both your signatures on the mortgage agreement.

ninky_2

what an @rsehole. i'm sure he has his superficial charms but really you are well shot. how completely selfish can you get hedging your bets with someone you are prepared to cheat on whilst planning for a ceremony with them in which you are about to pledge your lifelong fidelity. he's revealed his true colours there.

and as for the woman who was toying with leaving her husband for him. sounds like they deserve each other. it will all end in tears believe me - how will these two ever be able to truly trust each other knowing each other's shoddy history?

your lodger idea sounds like a good plan. (make sure your new lodger is either drop dead gorgeous male or a female who will introduce you to a circle of such - ha!).

JayZed

Sorry to hear about your experience with your boyfriend, who sounds like a real !!!!, if you don't mind me saying so.

What you're proposing sounds feasible in principle, but you need to think about the following things:

1) If you bought the house jointly, then as long as his name remains on the title deeds, he will be entitled to 50% of any profit when the house is sold. Will this be a fair reflection of the amount that each of you will have invested in the property, even if the arrangement you're proposing continues for some years?

2) You each have a joint and several liability to the mortgage company. In other words, if he stops this monthly payment and you can't keep up with the mortgage, the lender can chase either or both of you for the money, and both of you will get black marks on your credit file. It's worth making sure that he understands this - gives him some incentive to keep up the payments.

3) What would happen if you were to meet a new bloke who ends up moving in with you? Would you want to change the arrangements with your ex? It's worth discussing that now rather than waiting until it happens.

4) If you take a lodger, make sure that you inform your insurance company, who may want to increase your premiums.

Gwhiz

ninky wrote: »

what an @rsehole. i'm sure he has his superficial charms but really you are well shot. how completely selfish can you get hedging your bets with someone you are prepared to cheat on whilst planning for a ceremony with them in which you are about to pledge your lifelong fidelity. he's revealed his true colours there.

and as for the woman who was toying with leaving her husband for him. sounds like they deserve each other. it will all end in tears believe me - how will these two ever be able to truly trust each other knowing each other's shoddy history?

your lodger idea sounds like a good plan. (make sure your new lodger is either drop dead gorgeous male or a female who will introduce you to a circle of such - ha!).

Hey, this is a money board, not an agony aunt board . Keep to the financial facts. All the emotional stuff is irrelevant to the situation.

JayZed

Gwhiz is only saying that because he's actually the @rsehole boyfriend...

Mozette

I would say that as soon as it is feasible, get it sorted. What a swine! Still, better now than later.

Blacksheep1979

You do realise that depending on how much your property has dropped in value you may be stuck in this situation for 5+ years?

ninky_2

Gwhiz wrote: »

Hey, this is a money board, not an agony aunt board . Keep to the financial facts. All the emotional stuff is irrelevant to the situation.

hmmm these boards are rife with emotion. even if it's bull v bear on property prices there is usually a bit of emotional baggage behind it all. money is so tied up with with feelings (need for security, status etc etc). you can't really ever completely separate the two.

shopaholic_shiv

Thank you for all your help and advice on this matter! ) It is a tricky situation! And, 5+ years, i hope it's not that long but it is possible that it could be! / x