Rights as a Visitor In Hospital - Please Advise

poshnosh

Sorry if this is in thw wrong place but i really need to know my rights as a visitor in hospital. have searched on here but cant find anything.

My aunty (to whom i am very close) has been taken into hospital as she suffered a heart attack at home 4 days ago. During her stay there she has also suffered from a stroke. Her health in hospital seems to be deteriorating day by day and this is very distressing for all the family. Every time I go to visit her I get very emotional as I dont know how much time we have with her.

As of last night she was moved to a different ward and visiting times are 2-8. As I work shifts I dont get home until 7:30, dont eat, rush straight to hospital. Today I went into see her (it was about 7:45). She had pipes on her and a drip and looked very weak. She has also become imobile. This saddens me a great deal as she was a very active, healthy individual. I sat besides her and she complained of her hand hurting. I realsied she had a huge bump there (resulting from an injection they had given her). Soon after a nurse came telling us all to leave as there were too many people in the room which is understandable. many of the people left but my husband, sister and I stayed on a couple more minutes. My sister was trying to get permission to stay longer for herself, but the nurse was point blank saying "no, visiting times are over". However, my sister politely asked to speak to someone in charge who allowed her to stay.

Shortly after another nurse came in and i politely asked her about the lump on my aunty's hand to which she replied "oh, it nothing". I asked her to remove the tape as the lump was causing my aunty pain and the tape was pressing the lump which looked like swelling, but she spoke to me like i was an idiot saying "the tape cant cause any pain". On that note she also started saying rudely visiting times are over, you have to go. I thought "duh" i never even said that but I was feeling too distressed to start arguing with her because of the state my aunty was in plus it was not appropriate to be having this conversation in front of my ill aunty. I got up ( annoyed that she was ignoring the swelling on my auntys hand), shook my head and was leaving the room when that nurse said "excuse me did you tell me to shut up". I totally ignored her. There was another nurse in the room too as well as my sister. I then heard one of them say "right you're banned, you cant come here anymore". I totally ignored her, did not even look at her and just walked out the room.

I just need to know my rights on this. As a visitor where do I stand? Surely they cant ban me from seeing my aunty. I never said a thing to the nurse, just shook my head and walked out. I thought I will not give her the chance to start a fight as it was not the time or the place. On the contrary the night before the nurses were lovely and let us stay until 10pm.

i am getting anxious and really need some advice as I dont care what they say I will be going to see my aunty. That nurse thought she owned the hospital. should i speak to someone else in authority? Do they have a right to ban me because they think I said something i never said?

I am more worried for my aunty as she is under their care and they may not give her the aid and care she needs.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you in advance

hayley11

I think it would have to be something quite serious to ban you, I think she's just on a little power trip to be honest.

Also I can't understand why they won't extend visiting hours when your aunt is obviously quite poorly. When my nan was in hospital once, we stayed with her 24 hours and she wasn't dying or anything, she just hated being alone in hospital.

I don't really know how it works on a ward, i'm sure there must be somebody higher you can speak to though. I would ring the switchboard and ask them who you need to speak to.

Sorry I can't be more help. Hope your Aunt feels better soon and you get this sorted

poshnosh

oh, my aunty is quite old and she too hates being alone. The other night when my uncle called (it was quite late) they told him she was still awake and had not gone to sleep. Just hearing that made me feel very sad -staring at a blank wall with no-one around to talk to. she does not talk much at the mo anyway but just our presence makes her feel better as she knows she's got someone of her own with her. This may sound silly but Whenever i eat something i think of her and it makes me sad because she is very fond of her food, and she was not allowed to eat or drink anything for 2 days. She cannot eat anything at the mo. as she finds it difficult to swallow and is drip fed.

dmg24

A hospital can (and will) ban those who are perceived to be abusive towards staff. However, it would appear that there has been a misunderstanding in communication in this instance, and a quiet word next time you go in should resolve it. If there is still a problem, then you would be best to contact PALS, who will speak with the staff on your behalf and try to find the best solution for all involved.

With regard to set visiting times, whilst they can appear to be an inconvenience, they do serve a purpose. Whilst it is quite understandable that your main concern is your aunty, there are other people on the ward who need rest, and having visitors there out of hours can disturb this.

hayley11, it sounds like your nan was in a ward where there was open visiting, or in a side room, where they tend to be more flexible as it is not disturbing anyone else.

Don't worry that your relationship with the staff will affect their care for your aunty. They are used to (what they perceive to be) difficult visitors, and only in the most extreme cases would it affect how they treat a patient.

poshnosh

thank you dmg. The thing is my aunty has a room to herself and i cant see how my presence would disturb other people. Plus, the strange thing is the staff allowed us to stay there the night before until 10 pm. It appears to me visiting hours depend upon which nurses are on duty.
i was going to have a word with the ward manager this am as I will not tolerate the nurses behaviour (she was trying to humiliate me in front of members of my own family), but maybe will stick to what you say - have a word if she is there.

jackieb

My aunt died last Thursday. I'd have been horrified if some nurse had acted like this. The hospital that my aunt was in couldn't have been more sympathetic. My uncle and cousin were allowed to sleep in her room. They made up temporary beds for them - and even gave them meals. My aunt was also in a room of her own, and we were allowed to visit anytime. The last time I saw her, there were 7 of us visiting. The only time we were asked to leave the room was when the nurses were about to turn her in her bed.

There's no need for the nurse to act the way she did, especially at such an upsetting time for you all. I'd be tempted to have a word with the ward manager.

Ivory_Tinkler

poshnosh wrote: »

thank you dmg. The thing is my aunty has a room to herself and i cant see how my presence would disturb other people. Plus, the strange thing is the staff allowed us to stay there the night before until 10 pm. It appears to me visiting hours depend upon which nurses are on duty.
i was going to have a word with the ward manager this am as I will not tolerate the nurses behaviour (she was trying to humiliate me in front of members of my own family), but maybe will stick to what you say - have a word if she is there.

As advised in another post, you should speak to PALS about your treatment. However, you need to be aware that wards caring for coronary patients do tend to be very strict about visiting, even in side wards. If you are chatting to your aunt and moving about the other patients can hear you and know you are there and this could cause them distress if their relatives are not with them while disturbing them also. Visiting hours are very inconvenient at times agreed, but when it comes to the care of patients, you have to work around the hospital not the hospital around you. Could you negotiate with your employer to leave early given the circumstances?

Good luck with sorting this out and hope your aunt recovers soon.

poshnosh

this afternoon i went to visit my aunt (haven taken the afternoon off from work)and found they had shifted her to a ward amongst other patients. I never saw that nasty nurse, Thank God, and i just made the most of it whilst i was there. No-one said anything to me about yesterdays incident, and the nurses i encountered today seemed a lot pleasant.....no ban was mentioned so i did not feel the need to bring this up.

In answer to tinklers questions.....

Ivory_Tinkler wrote: »

If you are chatting to your aunt and moving about the other patients can hear you and know you are there and this could cause them distress if their relatives are not with them while disturbing them also........not really disturbing other patients as I usually sit there quietly and read to my aunty in a low voice. i am a very softly spoken person so I am far from disturbing other patients. rather other visitors disturb us because they speak in loud voices or laugh very loudly and we can hear them.

Visiting hours are very inconvenient at times agreed, but when it comes to the care of patients, you have to work around the hospital not the hospital around you. ....... surely if you had a loved one in hospital and you did not know how much time you had left with them you would expect the nurses to be more sympathetic and extend the time (as mentioned in previous posts), and they did on monday evening. Also if you read jackieb's post above you can see how accommodating the nurses were to the extent where they were giving 2 members of the family overnight stay and meals which is exceptional service. I dont understand why some people bother going into this proffession if they not going to be compassionate and show mercy to someone nearing death and their relatives. they have to be very stone hearted!!!

it was not even about the care of the patients as you mention, this nurse was def. on some sort of power trip - she thought she was a person of authority, and she should not have been speaking to me the way she did in front of my ill aunty. If she had any problems with me surely she should have taken me aside!!! My auntys care was the last thing on her mind!

Could you negotiate with your employer to leave early given the circumstances? taken the afternoon off today but cant do this all the time.

Good luck with sorting this out and hope your aunt recovers soon. thank you

Ivory_Tinkler

Poshnosh, sorry I think you misunderstood what I meant (sorry if I didn't make myself clear). If the other patients realised that you had been allowed to stay with your aunt, they might become distressed because their visitors weren't allowed to stay with them. In a coronary/stoke ward this could be the last thing they need.

Having spent time with my Father on the Coronary Care Unit on more than one occasion I do realise how awful it is. Bless him, he is a very sick man and each time he goes into hospital I worry myself silly and pray that he will recover. Each time I have met with wonderful nursing staff but also been frustrated by visiting hours but stuck to them all the same, knowing that if his condition deteriorated, I would be allowed to go and see him (which I believed was the case with all hospitals if a patient is critically ill).

I am not for one minute saying that the nurse you dealt with was right and you really should bring this up with the ward manager and/or PALS so it doesn't happen to someone else, but for the sake of all patients (after all they are the sick ones), visiting hours should be respected and if you are allowed to stay late, then take this as a bonus from a really nice nurse.

As I said earlier, I wish your aunt a speedy recovery and that she soon comes home so that you can spend more time with her.

bluesrich

Hi PoshNosh, Having spent lots of time in and out of hospital throughout my life, it does sound like this nurse was on a power trip and I can't imagine you would be banned from that ward that your aunt is on, I would speak to the nurse in charge or Sister of the ward and put in an official complaint about this nurse, Also possibly contact the Pals team, although my experience with them is very negative, There is a website called Patient Opinion where people either patients or relatives or even staff can post without having to give your real name, Also the Local PCT read this website on a regular basis and hopefully you will have your concerns answered by your particular PCT, The Website is patient-opinion.org I hope that helps and good luck.