If shes not worried about repaying the money why should i?

Legacy_user

When my partner and I moved in had our first child 5 years ago she was advised by a relative of hers who work in tax credits not to put me down as she would get more money, anyway she done this ago got caught last June, she has been told to repay £60 per month, as she couldn't afford this I was repaying it, I have recently stopped as its just to much, I ask her for the money but she never has it. We keep all our finances seperate, the tax credits went straight to her but yet I am repaying it:rolleyes: Should I just forget about repaying it all together as she is showing no interest in helping, and what is likely to happen if it stops getting paid?

McKneff

Just my opinion but when 'she' was getting the tax credits werent you benefiting from them also, if you lived in the house as a couple.

I would imagine if 'she' got caught then its her name on the forms then she would be resposible legally. But morally you went along with the fraud so you shoudl feel some responsibility surely.
If youre a couple then i would try to work it out between you.

By the way, have you told her yu have stopped paying it.

onetomany

totally agree with above

tallyhoh

I am surprised that the relative in tax credits did not warn your partner that she faced prosecution, a criminal record or even a jail sentence.

It now comes under the Inland Revenue unlike the old family credit, they have powers that Mr Debt Collector does not.

Consider the fact that you (not just your partner) got away lightly (so far) & make this a priority debt.

robsmum_2

Totally agree with previous posters. Have also looked at some of your other posts to try to get a better picture of the circumstances and am very concerned for you.

The theme running through them is that you are "missing out" somehow. As you have a child I think you and your OH should look at your finances as a whole unit for all household expenses and keep any remaining for seperate use. Just a suggestion.

Overpayment of Tax Credits is a priority debt and as previous poster said they have very big powers to reclaim it - the rights are all on their side.

Talk to your OH and contact CAB as soon as possible as this situation will very quickly spiral into a much worse one if left.

System

robsmum wrote: »

Totally agree with previous posters. Have also looked at some of your other posts to try to get a better picture of the circumstances and am very concerned for you.

The theme running through them is that you are "missing out" somehow. As you have a child I think you and your OH should look at your finances as a whole unit for all household expenses and keep any remaining for seperate use. Just a suggestion.

Overpayment of Tax Credits is a priority debt and as previous poster said they have very big powers to reclaim it - the rights are all on their side.

Talk to your OH and contact CAB as soon as possible as this situation will very quickly spiral into a much worse one if left.

So do I. But its 90% 10% in our house hold and nothing I can do will change that, and the 10% she pays is the TV lisence at £12 a month

moneymakestheworldgoround

Does she overspend in other areas? Does she have new shoes, nights out, excessive tastes ?

Or is she struggling to look after your child and doing the best she can on a low wage?

If it was the first, I would stop paying and tell her to buck her ideas up and pay her debts.

If its the second, I would support her everyway possible.

Pee

I have also looked at your other posts.

I don't think that it is fair that your girlfriend expects you to bring the money in to pay the bills and spends her benefits money etc as she pleases, although i can't see anything suggesting that she overspends, just that the cost of living is too much for the both of you.

You also say that 99% of the time you are happy.

You have children and keeping a family going and together with children is important. Hopefully soon your wife may be able to increase her hours?

Do you feel that she is spending too much on children's clothes or toys? If so, are you being reasonable? Do you make demands on her that aren't entirely fair too, like expecting her to do all the food shopping cooking and cleaning?

If you are not happy, you need to tell her this and work out a budget between you. If this causes rows, then you have to either put up with the rows and hope it blows over but the trouble is if she is financially just as well off without you - which she may not be - she might be looking at leaving you.

You do need to tell her you are not paying the debt. Could you agree on both paying half?

System

moneymakestheworldgoround wrote: »

Does she overspend in other areas? Does she have new shoes, nights out, excessive tastes ?

Or is she struggling to look after your child and doing the best she can on a low wage?

If it was the first, I would stop paying and tell her to buck her ideas up and pay her debts.

If its the second, I would support her everyway possible.

Yes to the first, its not that she has excessive tastes, she just wants to live the life her relations have, new clothes, nights out for drinks etc. Its not really excessive but it something we can't afford, I've not had a night out since 2005, I'm not to worried as I've not interest anyway but its the point of the thing.

And the annoying thing is the person who gave out the bad advice has 2 or 3 holidays a year, has a new build home and all the rest.

And as for me benefiting from this extra money back then nothing has changed, back then I still paid 90% of the bills, only difference now is she has fewer clothes but I suppose the government won't see it like that which is why I am mad:mad: As mentioned we work seperate, all money is seperate however we are in the process of opening a joint account which should be interesting as I've never had a bank charge on my current account while she has 1 every month.

It really is like banging you head against a brick wall.

System

Pee wrote: »

I have also looked at your other posts.

I don't think that it is fair that your girlfriend expects you to bring the money in to pay the bills and spends her benefits money etc as she pleases, although i can't see anything suggesting that she overspends, just that the cost of living is too much for the both of you.

You also say that 99% of the time you are happy.

You have children and keeping a family going and together with children is important. Hopefully soon your wife may be able to increase her hours?

Do you feel that she is spending too much on children's clothes or toys? If so, are you being reasonable? Do you make demands on her that aren't entirely fair too, like expecting her to do all the food shopping cooking and cleaning?

If you are not happy, you need to tell her this and work out a budget between you. If this causes rows, then you have to either put up with the rows and hope it blows over but the trouble is if she is financially just as well off without you - which she may not be - she might be looking at leaving you.

You do need to tell her you are not paying the debt. Could you agree on both paying half?

Thats the plan with opening a joint account. So we'll see what happens

robsmum_2

I really feel you have got to talk tp your OH. Reading the rest of these posts and your replies it sounds like things are already out of control, particularly for your OH.

At this stage I would hesitate before opening a joint account and stress to your OH the importance of a budget and sticking to it.

If you find it difficult to talk to her show her these posts!