School giving me no notice

poet123

Zziggi wrote: »

I can see that in one sense 29 kids out of 30 loose out because of the oneeveryone looses out. But if the child can't taste the food for a medical (i.e. disability) reason then to regularly exclude them from food tasting would constitute discrimination - or at least people would claim discrimination against the child with a health problem.

I know this is a completely different senario, but i think both sides have to be reasonable and at least TRY to be inclusive. I refuse to let my kids be photgraphed in school & we're the only ones to object. The school has a policy of letting parents film/photograph kids in christmas concert, harvest festival, class assemblies, sports day etc etc. So there is the problem that I am within my rights to refuse permission and the school cannot film/photograph without my consent.But if I insist on not giving my consent then all parents are prevented from filming/taking pictures. If they allow filming/taking pictures and remove my child from every activity of this sort then this could be construed as discrimination/trying to coherse & pressure parents into giving consent. I absolutely stand by my refusal and will not change my mind but compromise has to be reached. I think it would completely unreasonable for me to expect all parents to be banned from filming when i am in the minority of one (although many schools have a blanket ban and i understand if there are "kids in care" at the school [especially removed in cases of abuse]then social services insist on no filming/photos anyway even when the child is the only kid in care at the whole school). The major events are xmas concert, sports day, harvest festival. Class assemblies are lower key. The compromise is that i remove my kids from the major events (xmas concert, sports day, harvest festival) so filiming/photos can occur but they take part in class assemblies and parents are told not to film/photo in class assemblies. Of course parents grumble but i feel i have compromised. I have said to the school that I do not consider my kids being unable to take part in the major events as discrimination (so there by allowing the school off the hook) and that I accept that it is ME removing my children from the major events and not the school excluding them. I could have been an !!!!! and said i want my kids to take part in everything otherwise i'll scream discrimination then filming would have had to be banned for every event. Now that would have been "selfish and mean spirited". I think when people are making attempts to include everyone then both sides should see that there has to be some give and take. However if no attempt is made with small changes in order to include everyone then i think people have little choice than to be "selfish and mean spirited".

I can see your point, but unless there is some concrete reason (such as care issues, domestic violence, custody issue) then surely the democratic thing to do would be to remove your children from all events which other parents want to photograph, for at least part of the event in the case of still photos, or the whole event if video is involved..

KellyWelly

This reminds me of a Christmas party when my son was in nursery and we weren't allowed to film or take photographs because one set of parents objected. The cheeky blighters then turned around and asked me to take photographs of their daughter with her birthday cake (Christmas birthday) because they had forgotten their camera.

Me, Muggins, said OH YEAH! COURSE I WILL! and actually took the pictures. I wish I had turned around and told them to sod off.

Zziggi

Sorry to hear you have had such a rough day KellyWelly.

KellyWelly wrote: »

My point is that all the OP needs to do is put the specific needs in writing and let the teacher know instead of stewing and going into school all wound up and complaining.

Parents - you won't get anywhere demanding and behaving unreasonably, just be nice, PLEASE!!!!

As i read the OPs first post she has had "polite but firm conversations" with the teacher but they had had no affect on getting the teacher to give her more notice. I thought she wanted to know her correct (legal?) position about who is ultimately responsible for providing the ingrediants. As she wanted to be a little more "firm" in order to affect more notice to be given. In the first post she put that she is happy to provide the ingredients but it is the notice factor that is the real issue.

TBH I read the posts and thought the OP came across as a more than reasonable parent but needs to sort the problem out. I don't read her posts as getting wound up and going in to school complaining.

If it were me, me & my big mouth would probably have made a sarky comment about the amount of notice by now.

Zziggi

poet123 wrote: »

I can see your point, but unless there is some concrete reason (such as care issues, domestic violence, custody issue) then surely the democratic thing to do would be to remove your children from all events which other parents want to photograph, for at least part of the event in the case of still photos, or the whole event if video is involved..

To be honest if the Headmistress had told me that what you describe was the schools position on the matter then I would have agreed to it because I do believe that the minority shouldn't hold the majority to ransom in most cases - especially the minor situation of photos at a school play!!

As it happens the Headmistress wanted to compromise and offered the one I stated in my post to I agreed to it. Fair play to her for wanting to seek a compromise rather than just telling me I'm in a minority so tough!

poet123

Fair play to you for being so reasonable.

milliebear00001

Zziggi wrote: »

To be honest if the Headmistress had told me that what you describe was the schools position on the matter then I would have agreed to it because I do believe that the minority shouldn't hold the majority to ransom in most cases - especially the minor situation of photos at a school play!!

As it happens the Headmistress wanted to compromise and offered the one I stated in my post to I agreed to it. Fair play to her for wanting to seek a compromise rather than just telling me I'm in a minority so tough!

Schools can only photograph children with the explicit consent of their parents. We have a couple at my school who don't have permission and we only allow school 'approved' photos, or 'supervised' parent photos as a result. In practice, this means we do things like allowing parents to take photos at designated times (end of performances etc) only, when we can guarantee the children without consent, are not present. It is a right royal Pain in the A*** to be honest, but there you go. My friend has a class with several muslim children in it. Their parents do not permit photographs as it is against their faith to create an image of a living thing. Sorry - off topic!

Oldernotwiser

Floss wrote: »

But don't forget that the OP is on benefits, and these alternative ingredients can be expensive - have you looked at the price of wheat-free or even just gluten-free flour recently? And non-dairy spread?

!

Yes, but presumably the OP has to buy these things anyway to feed her son at home!

Zziggi

milliebear00001 wrote: »

Schools can only photograph children with the explicit consent of their parents. We have a couple at my school who don't have permission and we only allow school 'approved' photos, or 'supervised' parent photos as a result. In practice, this means we do things like allowing parents to take photos at designated times (end of performances etc) only, when we can guarantee the children without consent, are not present. It is a right royal Pain in the A*** to be honest, but there you go. My friend has a class with several muslim children in it. Their parents do not permit photographs as it is against their faith to create an image of a living thing. Sorry - off topic!

As a Muslim myself I'd say Their parents do not permit photographs as it is against their INTERPRETATION OF THEIR faith to create an image of a living thing. (passports/driving licenses anyone?)

My concern is more the fact that at pre-school photos were allowed and I then found a pic of my DS on the internet, even with him named on the pic. Another parent had obviously posted it on a site along with a series of other pics taken at the same pre-school event. Although posted innocently enough, I felt unhappy about it (not that i spoke to the parent who took the photo) so decided that I'd not allow it in future.

I can fully appreciate just how much of a complete pain in the backside it is for teachers. Along with them having to remember that little Johnny has got celiacs, Sally has dairy allergy, Matthew can't eat tomatoes, artifical colouring in foods send Liam mental and of course William's mother wants him to be kept away from Ryan who is a bad influence on little William......and that's before we start thinking about the time, staffing & budgetry contraints of how the National Curriculum will be taught.

Savvy_Sue

KellyWelly wrote: »

All the parent needs to do is write the teacher a letter and tell her exactly what he can't have and what alternatives need to be provided, it's that simple. It's right that the school should provide them because it is for a medical need and her son should in no way be excluded. But you know what - if she goes in there kicking off demanding her son's rights and this and that then it's a real possibility the teacher just won't bother anymore (I wouldn't) and the whole class will miss out because of it. If everyone just thought before they went in all guns blazing then things would be a lot simpler and more pleasant.

But from reading the first post, it seems that the parent HAS told the teacher what her son can and can't have, and HAS discussed alternatives. She has NOT gone in there kicking off, BUT she is finding that polite discussion is getting her nowhere.

I think you're transferring your bad day. Hope tomorrow is better ...

milliebear00001

Zziggi wrote: »

As a Muslim myself I'd say Their parents do not permit photographs as it is against their INTERPRETATION OF THEIR faith to create an image of a living thing. (passports/driving licenses anyone?)

My concern is more the fact that at pre-school photos were allowed and I then found a pic of my DS on the internet, even with him named on the pic. Another parent had obviously posted it on a site along with a series of other pics taken at the same pre-school event. Although posted innocently enough, I felt unhappy about it (not that i spoke to the parent who took the photo) so decided that I'd not allow it in future.

When I wrote 'their' faith, I meant the faith of the particular parents I described. Can I ask why you were unhappy about your children's photos being used?