Splitting Up

tango

Hi,could any one offer any advice?
I am spliiting up from my husband of 17 years,sometimes thinks aren't too bad,but other times they are awful.
I seem to lurch from one disaster to another at the moment.
How have others who have been through this,survived it

k_bagpuss

Well you've heard the phrase "life goes on" and believe me it does. I found out just over a year ago that my husband of 10 years had slept with someone else and had decided he didn't want to be married anymore and it felt like my life had totally fallen apart. We did the whole Relate thing but he moved out last September. I was a complete mess at first, left the lowest of the low and spent most of the day and night in tears. But gradually the crying got a little less and when friends invited me out (not on the razz or anything, just coffee or shops or local quiz etc) I went - even if I didn't feel like going just to get me out of the house and my mind on something else. And then on New Years day I decided that 2005 had been so bad that 2006 was going to be a positive year so I got myself a new job, and then a couple of months ago I thought I felt ready to maybe start dating again so I logged onto a dating website saying I was looking for friendship and I have now just met someone and things are going great. All you can do is take each day at a time, try to find something (a hobby) to throw yourself into just to distract your mind for a while and whilst you probably can't even imagine the light at the end of the tunnel right now it is there! You just have to keep your chin up as best you can and one day you'll see that chink of light. Good luck!

Philippa36

Yes! I've been there, it took courage to leave and finally say that my marriage wasn't working and now I am so much happier. It all takes time but eventually things will be better for you and maybe theres someone else out there who will suit you
As k_Bagpuss says, keep busy, courses are always a good start to help boost your social circle.
Good luck and keep smiling!

tango

Thanks for your replys,i know things will get better,but it is so awful that you can be so close to someone for so long and then,you are both so horrible to each other.
Life goes on,and i hope when this is all sorted ,for the sake of our children we can have a half decent relationship

pinkpauline34

"Ditto" to all the above.

It won't be easy but in time, you will see light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not trying to kid anyone here - you can have lonely times but if you have a support network, I'm sure they will prop you up in your weak moments. I have been on my own for 6 very happy years and I had to give up my home in London, a well paid job and my friends to move 400 miles away but it was all worth it. It was a struggle financially to begin with but it was worth all the sacrifices. Life has never been better for us.

Good luck and be positive and I am sure you will find it all works out for the best.

tango

Thankyou,i do have a support network,and that has been my lifesaver,even though at times i am petrifed,i always remember how bad the arguments were, and those, i will not be sorry to say goodbye too

busby1_2

At a time like this its your support network that will get you through it, if you havnt got friends and family to support you, it can be hard, there are oganisations like gingerbread and LoneParents.Org where you can find many willing and happy to help people in the same position

Good luck dont try and do it all alone