Mentally unstable relative

dmg24

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

hmmm - this sounds like bi-polar disorder (manic depression) thats one of the major symptoms of it - I've seen it loads of times. And its not just a case of spending a little bit of cash - often when the person is having a real low spending can be extreme as they have no notion of what they are spending - Im talking potentially thousands of pounds here. I have seen countless cases of this - they usually used to call me in to help when I was on the wards as my background was in banking and finance before I went into mental health nursing.
Bi-polar can be quite difficult sometimes - when the person is on an 'up' they can appear well so it doesnt necessarily warrant a sectioning or whatever until something really bad happens.
It is possible to put some kind of 'block' on the account so you cant withdraw cash from machines - I had a Barclaycard with this on. However, please bear in mind that this wont stop them from going into shops and spending whatever they like.
Its difficult to know what to suggest here - perhaps speak to their CPN and ask them to have a word? Or could they possibly speak to your relative and ask if the relative would be prepared to work with the CPN to kepe the finances under control, then the realtive could authorise them to act on their behalf and then you could liaise with the CPN to work things out?
Hope you can get something sorted!

It is also symptomatic of many other mental health conditions. I don't think this is the place to be making a diagnosis on someone that you have never met (and I assume, are not qualified to make!).

churchrat

hi
do you share a GP--or perhaps his mother shares a gp with him? Although the gp will not discuss HIS problems with you they will discuss the stress/hardship that his behaviuor is causing the family member who is talking to the GP (if that makes any sense!)

The advantage of seeing his GP is that if you did persaude him to go and get some "advice" the doctor will already be aware of the problems. It can take a very long time to access mental health services and if you only have a short time when he will agree then you really would find it helpful to have some dialogue already in place.

The people who really know what they are talking about are MIND and they will talk to relatives and offer advice.

good luck with all this
churchrat

just thought--how is his mum dealing with all this? she could find help in her own right, Age Concern are great for all sorts of things.

chattychappy

I had a bipolar girlfriend for a while. I think the a key point was that she knew "she couldn't trust herself" and I had tacit permission to intervene and was never blamed for it (a few paranoid rants at the time, of course).

The OP wrote "He will not agree to handing over his cards to me." I feel if the "close relative" (and the nature of the relationship is very pertinent) holds this position all the time, then the OP is a bit stuck. In my gf's case, it was possible to reason with her during her good times and she was happy for me to take control during the bad times.

I hope the OP can make some progress during the "good times" and at least get some kind of permission/approval for intervening. Beyond that I think we're in danger of drifting away from simple money advice.

Best of luck!

Mrs_Ryan

dmg24 - I didnt make a diagnosis - if you bothered to read my post properly you would see I said 'it sounds like' I did not say 'This is definitely bipolar!!!' And by the way, you should never 'assume' anything - I've worked in mental health fields for quite a long time in a nursing capacity. Ok, Im not a doctor, but I do know what Im talking about. I said bi-polar as that is a major symptom.