Father wants sole custody of children(Scotland)

marje

Hi, just wondered if anyone had any advice for my friend. She and her husband have had a very bitter split. He lives about 70 minutes away from the family home and is quite happy to have the 3 school age children at weekends (that is, he has all the fun times). My friend has a chronic illness which makes it very tiring to have sole care of 3 children for most of the week and she wants her husband to make more of a contribution to the care of the children, e.g. go to parents night at the schools, take children to buy new shoes, etc. That is help out my friend and take some responsibility for the non-fun parts of parenthood. However, the husband isn't interested in this and has now said that he is going to buy a house where he is and take custody of the children which means taking them away from their schools, friends, etc.

The couple has tried family mediation and it is stalemate. Does anyone have suggestions as to how they can move on in a constructive way.

Also any ideas as to how my friend can cope with 3 children and a chronic illness (she has no family to help her out).

Hope this makes sense - typed it in a real hurry.

Marje

*Louise*

How close a friend is she - could you spare time to help her out? (shopping etc)

When you say chronic illness - exactly how much does it affect her day to day life??

crapwithcash82

I would recommend your friend contacted the Citizens Advice on the phone, you can remain annonymous if you want to and they'll be able to give her some great advice. As far as I'm aware if the parents aren't married and the child was born before May 2006 the fathers only main "right" is to provide financially for the child - but don't quote me on that, give the CAB a call and they'll be able to help!!

Oldernotwiser

If your friend's illness means that she can't cope with the children and the father is happy to have custody, perhaps this would be the best solution all round. There's no reason these days why it should always be the mother who gets custody.

mrcow

From your post, it doesn't sound like he's trying to shy away from all the fun parts?

He sounds pretty committed and supportive. If your friend is seriously ill, then perhaps it's time to start looking at options that will suit everyone involved. It doesn't have to be "my way or the highway"

dieselhead

I have to say I agree with a lot of the comments above why doesn't your friend allow the father to have the children in the week and then she can have them at the weekend.

Savvy_Sue

How old are the children?

Is your friend getting all the benefits she is entitled to?

If she got in touch with Social Services, she might find that she could get help, either around the home or to help the children - I used to run an out of school club and some of the children were funded by Social Services to help parents with illness or disability to cope.