God I feel rubbish about myself! Rant only really

gorgeous_gwen

I feel quite weak for writing this down but here goes...

I have a gorgeous baby and a DS a little older. My body has changed since having my children, but nothing too bad really, I think I've been quite lucky. I've never really worried about my weight, I've never been into cosmetics, girlie things but I'm happy in my own skin. I fluctuate between a size 12 and 14 and I certainly wouldn't say I was anything near model looking, I have things I don't like about myself but they don't rule my life...

Until now. I could kick myself for falling into this trap, but I was reading a sunday magazine the other day, you know, those trashy ones that come with the papers and usually feature various celeb women and what they've been wearing and how they're deemed to look. The one I picked up was a 'summer' one and the first spread was women in their bikinis and they were rated with a 'tick' or a 'cross'. And I swear I looked down at my baby belly muffin top and thought, my god I know I've never had a taut, flat belly but is it normal that women do and I've just never known til now?!?!?

I know, it's totally laughable but seriously that's what I thought! Everywhere I look at the moment I see women who have obviously gone through the checklist of "womanly things to do to look good" and I'm asking myself, should I be aspiring to this?

I should point out I'm not a slob:D I like nothing better than being fresh out of the shower, hair straightened, smelling good with a nice dress on. but I'm a world apart from those women.

Boyf doesn't help. I hate to let him know I feel like this as I've always been so adamant how the celeb image is so fake, and how I'm happy with me, flaws and all, but when I'm pointing out celeb x from Big Brother in her bikini, massive boobs all squashed together and hair all wet, fake tan a gogo and bottoms you'd have to rescue with tweezers to be able to take them off, for some reason feeling the need to point out how fake she looks and he says but she's all right, the wet hair really does it, I'm like what is he thinking, why is that attractive, god I look nothing like that!

I'm not sure what my point is but I feel better for getting that off my chest!

BigMan

OMG You sound just like my Mrs

I am sure I speak for a lot of men out there, a personality is better than a stick thin, flat belly, skinny legged female anyday.

lynzpower

Boyf doesn't help. I hate to let him know I feel like this as I've always been so adamant how the celeb image is so fake, and how I'm happy with me, flaws and all, but when I'm pointing out celeb x from Big Brother in her bikini, massive boobs all squashed together and hair all wet, fake tan a gogo and bottoms you'd have to rescue with tweezers to be able to take them off, for some reason feeling the need to point out how fake she looks and he says but she's all right, the wet hair really does it, I'm like what is he thinking, why is that attractive, god I look nothing like that!

maybe one of your flaws is, much like 99.9% of other women in this country
, you let the thought cross your mind that you might have body insecurity from time to time.!! And he should learn to love that part of you too!

Why keep it from your OH if you feel that way. When I read those supplements i always sigh and say "god look at them they look so much better than I do!" and he will retort something like "yeah but I wouldnt want to live with her" or " she hasnt got much else going for her has she" or even "shes no match for you "

I am a total scruff myself if truth be known and I look at myself some days and think God, how can you present yourself like this! but then i want the extra hour in bed of a morning, and thats the trade off.

I will never be one of those girls who cares enough to constantly watch what they eat or enjoy working out. thats just not me. I will always allow myself that slice of cake! If youd prefer to excercise more then use the opportunity about how you might fit excercise into your lifestyles.

fernliebee

I think it's normal to get moments of feeling like it, but you seem very grounded about it and it's not ruling your life. Remember with the power of airbrushing and photoshop anyone could look like that! Most average mums have a baby belly, we just tuck it into our pants and hope for the best!


At least I do.

Lilith1980

Hey hun

I think a lot of people have something about themselves they don't like. The thing is, fat is hardest to shift from your belly because it sits there to protect vital organs.

My belly is the bit I dislike most about myself and has been for years. I am only now getting to a stage were I feel a bit more comfortable with it and am concentrating on being healthy on the inside rather than placing too much emphasis on the outside. I would like to have a flatter tum but I've never been one to show off my mid-driff anyway so it doesn't matter a great deal if the washboardabs don't appear one morning

You have to remember this girl on BB is a model - her job depends on her having no love handles and looking great, and she's young - give it time and the curves will come lol. And anyway, she might be pretty but she certainly doesn't have much of interest to say - pretty much like the rest of the BB contestants

Maz

BB contestants are not representative of 99.9% of the population. Mostly they are vaccuous egotists, lured by money and their 15 minutes of 'fame', only to be forgotten 15 minutes later. They're the fast food equivalent of television, instantly forgettable.

I do find it weird that a proportion of the population sit in their living rooms, watching other people sitting in their living rooms.

3onitsway

Its natural to have a bit of a belly - its unnatural for a woman to have an ironing board taut tummy! Just think of the all the lady-bits/internal organs that are in that tummy - if you didn't have them you wouldn't have your gorgeous children!

I'm also normally a 12 (sometimes 14!) and have a bit of a wibbly tum! Somedays I think I look good, somedays I think i'm a 20 stone bloater! (My youngest is only 4 months - and i'm NOT posh spice!).

I did do a stupid diet a few years back and got down to a loose 10 - but my belly looked horrible! The skin was crinkly and looked like a deflated balloon! It looks better with a bit of fat filling it out. :rotfl: OH didn't like me 'skinny' either, he said I was too bony - he likes to have something to grab onto! :eek:

vixarooni

i got a big bum, big legs and small everywhere else. I look towards beyonce and hope for the best!

milliebear00001

Well, once had the washboard stomach without any effort...two kids, and ten years down the line, I am a stone heavier and have to keep my stretchmarked, saggy, post-C-section tummy well under wraps! I view mine as a bit of a badge of honour though. We're women - we birth babies - I reckon it's unreasonable to expect to come through such an amazing experience physically unscathed!

I know it's a bit of a cliche, but you're clearly an intelligent, funny woman. I think many men find that much sexier than a stick thin model.

The killer for me is that when I had that washboard tummy and weighed seven stone, I thought I looked crap! I'm MUCH more confident about my appearance now than then, tummy or no tummy!

bonty44

I've put on a scary amount of weight in the last two years.
But, do you know what, my kids still love me and don't think anything of it; to them I'll always be Number 1 Mum Mind you, had best start shifting it if I want to be able to chase them round the park all summer holiday :eek::eek:

Bitsy_Beans

I tend to feel naff about my body when it rolls around to summer again and out come the thin strappy tops, vests, shorts etc etc and all the 20 somethings (and under) are out in the sun wearing next to nothing. And there's me - crepe paper belly, post pregnancy weight hanging around, feeling fat and frumpy. No wonder I love winter!!!
I try to remember that this is the result of my lovely kids but on the other hand I do find it hard to accept that I am finding it incredibly hard to bounce back into shape.