Feeling guilty what would you do

Pee

You shouldn't be feeling guilty. The chances are you will be in a better position to help your son than your SIL will be to help her daughter in five years time. And as you rightly say, in the long run, the house goes to them.

Desperate_Housewife_2-2

I don't think any parent should feel obliged to give money to their kids when they are 18. My parents gave me 20 quid for my 18th and I was always told I had to earn my own money and be independant. It was tough love but it worked because I am very careful with money and I am bringing my kids up to be the same.

Don't feel pressurised by what other people do, think about what you want to do and what your goals are. Be upfront with the kids and tell them that there are no free rides, they will have to earn their own money when they grow up anyway. You will be doing them a favour.

Whatever you decide, do what feels right for your situation

calleyw

The only thing I would say is what about if your children want to go to uni ?

You will have little time to make up the money to afford to help them if that is what you want to do.

I understand about wanting to pay off the mortgage quickly. But and the big but is things happen. Do you have adequate cover in terms of income protection etc etc etc.

Do you have 3-6 months of wages saved just in case.

Yours

Calley

littlemrtinkle

the kids should stand on their own two feet and make their own way in the world.

LookAfterThePennies_4

I agree with Desperate Housewife. People who are handed things on a plate often don't appreciate the value of money and consequently waste it! My parents didn't save money to give me when I was 18/21 and it hasn't done me any harm.In fact, I am about to become mortgage free at the age of 32.
You definitely have nothing to feel guilty about!

Dave101t

i didnt get any money off my parents, everything i own, i bought and paid for myself.
dont feel bad about not saving for them, you will give them a better sense of the value of money as a result.
they can always come to you if and when they need something

Toto

I have just started putting £20 a month into the kids accounts, but only because the baby has a trust fund that I put £20 into so I felt bad doing it for her and not the others.

The older ones don't know that the money is there and certainly won't expect it. Nor will they be handed a sum of money on a plate. it's really for me to have a fund available should they need something later on in life, such as a little help with moving out or going to uni.

MrsBartolozzi

Given that you are intending to pay off the mortgage in about 5 years ie before your eldest is 18 and/or goes to university, you will have the amount you are paying for the mortgage free each month after then. Have a think about how much you might want to have in your son's account by the time he is say 18 -
£20 a month for 5 years is only £1200 excluding interest (maybe another £150 with a good rate). This is only the equivalent of a few months worth of mortgage payments you can deposit for him if you feel you need to once the mortgage is clear.

benbenandme

I agree with the posters who said about it helping them appreciate the value of money and hard work ... compare Stella McCartney and Paris Hilton, both daughters of incredible rich parents, but only one of them has been shown the importance of earning a living
Perhaps try here and there to put a small amount away wnd maybe begin to drop subtle clues so it doesn't come as a shock that you haven't been squirreling away thoushands for them Maybe you could introduce poaket money for chores with 50% of it going into their bank account?

alfiesmum

We're overpaying to clear our mortgage asap as well, but I think it's important to have a balance. You say in your first post that 'We have emergency savings as a family', but then go on to say in another 'Sometimes if he needs new clothes or shoes etc and Ic ant afford to get him them, I will take the money out of his bank account.'
I think that if your son needs new clothes, then this should be a family expense, and not be taken from his own savings. If he fancies a new football top or something, then that's different, it's a treat, but you did say if he needed them which I think's a bit different. For us, it's important to have a balance in life, yes we throw every spare penny at the mortgage, but if your kid needs shoes, then surely that comes first?