moving out soon

velocity_boy

hi hope someone here can help.
i am the youngest in my family and have bought a house, i move in approx 2 weeks with my lodger following soon afterwards.
things are very strained since the buying process started, i cant seem to do right in the eyes of my parents, if i go to work it is because they wont let me have time off, and arguments are starting over literally nothing.
i am struggling for money as the house needs things but the bills still have to be paid.
i've been packing my things but my mum insists on ''helping'' which gets on my last nerve, because as much as i hate to say it she can be very overbearing at times and almost like an army general and it makes people resent her.
parents seem to have done nothing but put me down for months now and am getting to the end of my temper, i am off from today till tuesday and dont know how i will cope

Silverbird

I'm sorry, I have no experience of this and so I'm not sure what to suggest. Perhaps they are struggling to cope with the idea that they will be left all alone when you've gone and this is their way of dealing with it.

On the bright side you will be away from it all in 2 weeks :j

With regards to not being able to cope with all this until Tuesday, do you have a friend you could spend some time with? If not, perhaps just take yourself off somewhere for some quiet time (library, cafe, window shopping, walk in the park, museum).

All the best x x

betti911

I was in the same position a while ago when I announced I was moving out. Mum was upset, dad was angry. It is a really fraught time as it'll be a real adjustment for all of you... you living on your own for the first time and your mum letting the last of her babies go. For me it settled down a couple of weeks after I moved out and I now get on better with my parents than I ever did.

Re the money I'd advise only getting the essentials at first. I didn't have a proper table for months and ate with second hand plates and cutlery. Asda smart price stuff has been a blessing too!

I'd sit down with the budget planner on the website with all the bills for next month and try to work out how you are going to manage. The debt free board people are really helpful if you need advice as to how to cut costs. I wouldn't go to your mum and dad for money unless you really really have to as I'd imagine you'll want to show them you can stand on your own feet.

velocity_boy

hi the money problem is a temporary thing, once my lodger is in and stuff i will have a bit more to play with (i didnt get paid for some overtime and have got proof i am getting it at the end of june.

i'm going to a concert tonight but thats it till work on tuesday, then i only have 2 days off until moving day, i might have to work extra. as far as my parents are concerned i am the worst son in the world

diable

Its simple Mum's being Mum's she is going to miss her little baby seeing as you are the youngest, your Dad is scared at the thought of being left alone with your Mum for the rest of his life, no more nipping of to the pub with his boy and no more watching football, snooker or cricket at home once you have left and that is what fills him with dread.

When you move don't give them the address, it'll stop them from popping around lol

velocity_boy

diable wrote: »

Its simple Mum's being Mum's she is going to miss her little baby seeing as you are the youngest, your Dad is scared at the thought of being left alone with your Mum for the rest of his life, no more nipping of to the pub with his boy and no more watching football, snooker or cricket at home once you have left and that is what fills him with dread.

When you move don't give them the address, it'll stop them from popping around lol

me and my mum used to be very close when i was younger, me and my dad have the formula 1 racing and thats it really , we never did the whole going to the pub together thing or anything like that

LabLover

Was half way through my reply when my boss came up to ask a question , I dont think he quite understands the concept of a lunch hour , even tho I had half a tuna sandwhich on my desk!!:mad:
I feel so sorry for you because moving out should be such an exciting time !! I moved out when I was 17( now 21) and my parents were a little worried but they didnt try to ruin my moment and contrary to what they thought Ive coped in the big bad world without any handouts etc .
I kinda get the feeling that your parents are worried about what the house will feel like without you , you must be an integral part of the family! Your mum will miss fussing over you and your dad will have to sit at dinner table and make conversation all by himself without you there bringing up new topics or they wont have you to bounce ideas off of . Altho I do agree that its not really fair that they are making you feel they way you are feeling.They shouldnt be making you feel guilty or like youve let them down. Your doing NOTHING wrong .Enjoy youre concert tonight , just push all negatives to one side , everything will be fine !!!
What concert are you off 2 ? Ive got tickets to T-in the Park so im praying weather sorts itself out in the next few weeks :dance:

Nicki

Two possibilities spring to mind: first that your parents aren't particularly looking forward to being left just the two of them. Even if you don't go out much with either of them, you probably change the dynamic of the house. And second, if you pay a contribution towards rent or bills, they may be worrying how they will cope financially without this when you're gone.

Good luck - I'm the youngest child in my family but was forward thinking enough to be the first to leave home

velocity_boy

Nicki wrote: »

Two possibilities spring to mind: first that your parents aren't particularly looking forward to being left just the two of them. Even if you don't go out much with either of them, you probably change the dynamic of the house. And second, if you pay a contribution towards rent or bills, they may be worrying how they will cope financially without this when you're gone.

Good luck - I'm the youngest child in my family but was forward thinking enough to be the first to leave home

i have paid rent for the past 10 years but there will be less bills too.

my work hours have always been odd, they work ''normal'' hours so i am usually last out and last in and never around at weekends

they want me back on my day off to look after their dog :rolleyes:

velocity_boy

LabLover wrote: »

Was half way through my reply when my boss came up to ask a question , I dont think he quite understands the concept of a lunch hour , even tho I had half a tuna sandwhich on my desk!!:mad:
I feel so sorry for you because moving out should be such an exciting time !! I moved out when I was 17( now 21) and my parents were a little worried but they didnt try to ruin my moment and contrary to what they thought Ive coped in the big bad world without any handouts etc .
I kinda get the feeling that your parents are worried about what the house will feel like without you , you must be an integral part of the family! Your mum will miss fussing over you and your dad will have to sit at dinner table and make conversation all by himself without you there bringing up new topics or they wont have you to bounce ideas off of . Altho I do agree that its not really fair that they are making you feel they way you are feeling.They shouldnt be making you feel guilty or like youve let them down. Your doing NOTHING wrong .Enjoy youre concert tonight , just push all negatives to one side , everything will be fine !!!
What concert are you off 2 ? Ive got tickets to T-in the Park so im praying weather sorts itself out in the next few weeks :dance:

T-in the park? i am soooooooooooooo jealous

i am going to the last manchester show of the russell howard dingledoddies tour with my future lodger and her mate

LabLover

Lost my reply in cyber space again!! In true MSE fashion I bought the T in the Park tickets last year cause you get them alot cheaper :money: but you have no idea who is playing. Russel Howard is really funny wouldnt mind seeing him , Ive saw Rickey Jervais twice , going again in October , also saw Lee Evans , he actually just about sweats to death on stage.
Just enjoy yourself tonight, try not to worry about what your mum and dad think. :j