Getting OH to sort out our Credit Cards

tyllwyd

EmmaLou wrote:

Miscalculated petrol - should be around £48 - this is my everyday travelling as a mum!

That still seems amazingly high to me. Maybe keep a very close eye on this and bring it down if you possibly can?

EmmaLou wrote:

Train fares - just spoke to OH - apparently work has been paying these for the past few months so I can discount it! yippee!

This just worried me a little bit because in the past my husband's work used to pay for his travel expenses to and from home and the office where he was working as a contractor but they made a mistake and hadn't declared it as a taxable benefit. When the Inland Revenue found out, the company had to pay a huge tax bill, and although we didn't have to pay any back tax, we did have to pay tax on the benefit from then on. So if OH's train travel is between his normal place of work and home, make sure everything is OK with the tax.

EmmaLou_3

It seems that living opposite a shop doesn't help our situation. It is all to easy to pop accross the road because we quite fancy some chocolate, or a bottle of wine. Although it is usuallythe OH that does this!

I do have very conflicting feelings about our financial situation - One moment I will go and cut back on everything, then after a while I will feel so depressed about not having any treats etc, that I will then go and spend money when I feel like it in hope that we will eventually have enough money to pay off the depts. Don't get me wrong, I don't go mad and spend loads of money! just the odd trip to Primark or allowing myself to buy takeaways etc. I still end up feeling guilty! When you work so hard (whether in employment or looking after your own child), it is very difficult to accept that you can't even afford the basic treats. OK...I know, it is the reality of life.

What do the rest of you think?:
Is it ok to be in debt if you are sure that in a few years (when the kids are at school) you will afford to pay them back?
or
Should you live life with the very basics until you are earning more?

In my eyes either way is just as stressful/depressing as the other - I guess it is a case of finding a healthy medium.

Sorry to bore you with my thoughts!

mountainofdebt

EmmaLou wrote:

What do the rest of you think?:
Is it ok to be in debt if you are sure that in a few years (when the kids are at school) you will afford to pay them back?
or
Should you live life with the very basics until you are earning more?

But how do you KNOW that you will be able to pay them back in the future? And if you don't do something about it NOW won't the debts be bigger?

Personally I've cut back alot since coming on this site BUT I do allow us a few treats once in a very long while. Probably not what everyone would advocate but I only have a treat small enough to keep me motivated to get rid of the debt so I can afford the big treats, lol!

roswell

one day in the future i MIGHT be a millionare ... on the other hand you will notice that all the successfull millionairs (bar lotto wins) have done it the only way possible, NOT spending every penny they earned, sacrificing something now to do better in the future and hard work.

If we all had crystal balls none of us would have debts problems and lenders only give you money for one reason PROFIT. They dont want to help you they dont care if you by treats for the family or spend it all in the casino as long as there going to make money out of you they will give you money.

End of the day everthing you put on credit card will be worth less in the future and cost you more in the end. This is why you get deals like Pay nothing for this year (translate into pay a years extra interest next year)

Alleycat

I personally think that if you cut back to just the bare necessities for too long it can end up in disaster. Obviously you do need to make some major savings, but there needs to be some sort of happy medium. Forsaking everything even a bar of choccie will do nothing for your motivation especially if you are having trouble converting a partner.

For example, its nearly 2 miles into town and I will usually walk it there and back, but if I am tired or in a rush, I'll happily get the bus. Yes I could have saved a few quid but I would soon get fed up. Also, with food shopping, I cook from scratch as much as I can, meal plan etc, but do allow for the odd takeaway when I'm too tired, disorganised or fancy a treat.

At the moment, dd is only 14 months, so too little to be at the age of wanting loads of stuff and she doesn't care that her clothes are second/third/fourth hand, so this for us is the best time to be doing all this money saving and major cutting back. When she is bigger we will have paid all our debts off and so won't have to scrimp as much (though she still won't be getting everything she wants!) and so it won't really be an issue then. Never assume that the future means you will suddenly have the money to pay your debts back. If you can't afford it now, how will you afford it when they are older and cost more?

Sorry, that last paragraph sounds really depressing, but just trying to be realistic!!

roswell

Emmalou - have you convinced Oh to let you see the state of the credit cards yet?

scholt

Hi Emmalou

If you don't mind me asking whereabouts are you? My instinct said south east (expensive housing - I know all about that one :rolleyes: !) are you urban enough to sell your car?

System

I was in the same situation as your OH. Sounds like he is burying his head in the sand. Get him to read this website which may begin to tickle his curiosity. The sooner he faces up to it the better he and you will feel and youd be amazed what help is available from other sources quoted here and other people here

dottyanne

Perhaps a good ideal would be a role reversal - let him deal with the bills for everything for a while - maybe this would give him a shock and jolt him into facing the problems head on.......I think most of up on here are advising from experience. Credit Card debt is serious if you dont have any control over it..........and your OH obvioulsy doesn't - he may not see it just yet but you have, perhaps you have to open his eyes before your situation gets even more out of control...as i've said before if there are 2 adults living together you need to work together otherwise you are playing a financial tug of war.

EmmaLou_3

scholt wrote:

Hi Emmalou

If you don't mind me asking whereabouts are you? My instinct said south east (expensive housing - I know all about that one :rolleyes: !) are you urban enough to sell your car?

Yes we are South East! Not hard to guess eh. Our town is a commuter town, but there are a lot of us that were born here that are clinging on. It is quite upsetting that we may have to leave the area because of the cost of housing. Any new housing built around here (loads of it all the time!) tends to be huge 4 bedroom places, or expensive apartments! I have lost a lot of friends due to them having to move away. All of my family live in this town so I'm am very reluctant to leave as it is a strong network of babysitters - in fact I look after my sisters 3 kids whilst she works, as childcare is too expensive.

Hmm?...I probably am urban enough to lose the car, but we travel a lot to Yorkshire where OH's family live. It is just as cheap and more convenient to use the car than to use public transport. I also use the car to lug things to my allotment which is the other side of town. Again excuses, excuses! We are actually down-grading the car - this should hopefully save on insurance and also I should get some money back for the sale of the car.