Getting OH to sort out our Credit Cards

EmmaLou_3

Hi everyone - glad to know we're not the only ones in debt!

I need some advice... all our credit cards are in the name of my other half, but he won't pull his finger out and get them into some sort of order. What tactics have any of you used to get your OH to sort out stuff like this?

I control all our other finances, but the credit cards are the only things I don't have access to. He is always forgetting to transfer to another card when the 0% runs out, and he keeps transferring money from the credit cards to cover our bank overdraft. I keep asking him for his online passwords, but he won't give them to me. I do wonder if maybe he is trying to hide from me exactly how much we owe.

Last time he gave me any figures was back in November. These will be different now as I know for a fact that he transferred £1000 from one of them in January into our bank account. This is what we owed the credit cards:

Egg - £2981.57
Mint - £1030.89
Morgan Stanley - £1773.99
(all 0% as far as I know)

Our Natwest loan had £3621.89 left to pay
Our Natwest overdraft generally reaches £3000 each month (we are never in the black)

We owe my parents £1000
We owe his parents £1500

We have an income of £1655 per month (including tax credits, CB and HB)
Our outgoings are around £2000 per month

When my OH got a payrise last year it didn't make us any better off as our HB was reduced so that we were in exactly the same position before the payrise.

It is really hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

What I would like (not sure if acheivable?):
To pay off credit cards
To pay off loan
To get rid of overdraft
To get our own house instead of throwing our money away renting.

Any advice would be much appreciated!
x

fizzel81

well done for posting, if you post a soa you will find alot of help can be offered, include all your incomeings/outgoings
followed by what you pay out on credit cards debts etc

kar

Do you not get any paper statements for any of these? OH and I open each others post depending on whos home first so could be a way to get a sneaky peak at the amounts.

I would personally be waiting for him when he got home from work with the latest CC bill and a cuppa and seriously talk to him about it. Without both of you working together it's gonna be like fighting a loosing battle. You don't even have to open it if your not confortable with that - you just know when it's a bill :rolleyes: Tell him hes got to take responsibility or you will never be able to get out of debt/be able to buy a house etc.

Once you have the exact figures - check the APRs carefully and note when they expire - in big red marker on your calendar (and a note 1 month before hand to start sorting out next card)

Then both of you should put togther a SOA together and post it here. We can help to advise you on where you can cut down. You can't continue to spend more than you get in - somethings got to give!!

In the mean time check your energy suppliers are the cheepest and try to think of things you could 'give up' to save some cash - sky subscription, monthly contract mobile phone, magazines and newspapers, gym memberships you don't use, lottery tickets etc and see how much yo can cut out.

sanfrancisco

BY shouting, nagging, shouting and nagging. Men are the worst for sticking their head in the sand. For what its worth over 2 years on he is very thankful that I interferred, althogh he did protest at the time!

You have to try and reassure him that you will not be angry whatever the situation (prepare for the worst) and that you want to get out of this TOGETHER. You are a team etc etc. Try and prepare a spreadsheet together and work it out together. Even if you have all the ideas, do all the work, try to imclude him (I'm sure you are trying), as after a few weeks/ months he will start to see it working and will strt to have faith.

Good Luck.

tyllwyd

I think you have to stand over him and make him log into the accounts so that you can see exactly where you stand. I'm terrible for trying to fudge the issue with my husband about exactly what I have coming in and what I owe, always thinking I can fix it before he finds out!

The best thing to do is for both of you to sit down together and both do a budget together - that way you can help each other sort it out. Otherwise if one person is saving but the other is still spending, you are never going to get on top of things.

We've got a budget now stuck to the fridge for us both to keep up to date, and I'm much happier with that because I can see the whole picture.

climbgirl

EmmaLou wrote:

We have an income of £1655 per month (including tax credits, CB and HB) Our outgoings are around £2000 per month

Forget about your debts for a minute - the first priority is to stop overspending by so much each month! Every month you're getting further into debt by £350 going by these figures. And this needs to stop fast!

Post your SOA (statement of affairs) - how much you owe and to whom, the APRs, your income, and your monthly budget. Then we can help bring the outgoings into line with the income.

EmmaLou_3

I have just found this list I made back in November - I will update it with the correct Credit Card amounts when I have got them: (now updated)

Per Month

Income
Wages £1272
Housing Benefit £163
Child Benefit £68
Tax Credits £113
Total = £1616


Outgoings
Rent £750
Council Tax £122
Electric/gas £55 (set amount by Direct Debit - will probably be different now)
Water rates £27
TV Licence £8
House Insurance £5
Car Insurance £29
AXA life policy £20
NTL phone/TV/internet £22
Telephone calls £5
Car Tax £16
Petrol £48
Food/groceries/cleaning products £346
Total = £1453

Money Owed
Credit cards:
Egg £2982 (November stmnt) minimum payment (on March bank stmnt) = £57
Mint £8.89- 14.880% p.a. (wow in credit!)
MSDW £3851 0% til 31st may06 minimum payment = £77
Virgin £1021 0.3233% minimum payment = £23
Total owed on Credit Cards= £7854
Total monthly payments = £157

HFC Loan £836 left to pay - monthly payment = £44
Natwest Loan £4095 left to pay - monthly payment = £105
Total Loan monthly payments = £149

Natwest Overdraft £3300 - Charges on overdraft average £26 per month

His parents £2000
My parents £1000

I'm sure I will think of other stuff to add to this list!

CLAPTON

just some suggestions. it would make it easier to read if you could edit the list as follows

add a total line after income and show total income-it saves everyone having to do the sums

for the outgoings remove the debts payments and add a total at the end of outgoing -again saves everyone having to add it up

for each debts show the debt , monthly payment and APR
and add a total showing total debt , and total month debt payment

dottyanne

His parents £2000
My parents £1000

Do you actually pay any money back at the moment to your parents/in-laws??

EmmaLou_3

dottyanne wrote:

His parents £2000
My parents £1000

Do you actually pay any money back at the moment to your parents/in-laws??

Great thing about parents - they don't send you bills every month!
Our parents have kindly told us to pay back when we can afford to. I was paying off my parents up until a few years ago at £100 per month (the debt was £3000), but they allowed me to stop this when our daughter was born. I have been doing house work for them to slowly pay it back. This suits us all at the moment, but I would like to pay them back eventually. They aren't exactly made of money as my dad was made redundant.

dottyanne

EmmaLou wrote:

Great thing about parents - they don't send you bills every month!
Our parents have kindly told us to pay back when we can afford to. I was paying off my parents up until a few years ago at £100 per month (the debt was £3000), but they allowed me to stop this when our daughter was born. I have been doing house work for them to slowly pay it back. This suits us all at the moment, but I would like to pay them back eventually. They aren't exactly made of money as my dad was made redundant.

Im asking you this as i too owe both my parents (they're separated, my dad i owe £3100.00 and my mum £500), they're not in too much of a rush for it but it pricks away at my concience, also sometimes they do have a habit of making me feel beholden to them :undecided