Mad neighbour

sillyvixen

we had problems (when i was at home) with a mentally ill neighbour - then she moved when her marriage broke down, thinking our problems were over - she moved oppersite my grandparents, then the problems (as she was living alone) really began!!! as she was a mental health patient the police were powerless to act! keep a diary, i wont go into what we endured, but when the police failed to do anything again and again - due to the mental health act - a diary of advents was invaluable.

benjo

If I was a really mean person, which of course Im not :A, I might be tempted to sneak out one night and fill her bins with quick drying cement, then sit back and watch her try to drag the bins in front of the gate!

This wont help you at all, it will probably escalate the mad lady's behaviour, but it will give you a giggle watching her bust a gut.

Another possibility is, when she next blocks you in - call the police, tell them you are being held hostage, they will soon get fed up of you calling them, but they will be equally fed up with your neighbour and might just have a strong chat with her - then again, they might just arrest you for wasting police time.

Contact the local council, there are rules about where you can/cannot 'store' your bins, if she is blocking your access then perhaps they can get involved.

Goodluck.

Jemima5317

Thanks all - really appreciate the advice - and the knowledge that I'm not alone.

Thanks loads to the person who mentioned the "throwing a cup of water over great aunt's cat" incident, as that made me laugh out loud! My neighbour has cats, and I can soooo see her lobbing a bucket of water over me if I did that to hers (which I haven't and wouldn't!).

I guess I'll just wear it until something else arouses her ire. For the avoidance of doubt though, in case anyone thinks I'm being really horrible to a defenceless little old lady, she is only about 60 and fully able bodied - just appears to love falling out with everyone...

Jemima5317

Plus Benjo - thanks, you also made me laugh out loud. I really quite fancy ringing the police and saying I'm being held hostage, but am a bit too scared of the talking to I'll get for wasting their time :-0

Dave101t

id drive into the wheelie bin and bill her for the damage if she did that

inmypocketnottheirs

Jemima5317 wrote: »

For the avoidance of doubt though, in case anyone thinks I'm being really horrible to a defenceless little old lady, she is only about 60 and fully able bodied - just appears to love falling out with everyone...

Sounds very much like it could be my mother in law. Are you in Liverpool by any chance? If it is her, feel free not only to chuck a bucket of water over, but to drown her in the wheelie bin!

queenieplum

Put her in the wheelie bin!!!! I would report her to the council for the obstruction and ask them to write to her, as someone suggested earlier take photos and keep a diary of events.

If she starts ranting at you anymore tell her that your solicitor has asked you not to talk to her, jot something in a diary and walk away. That should shake her up!

I had some annoying kids who were always cycling round the cars in my street, one day I noticed some scratches on the side of it, the head kid sheepishly came over to 'ask what had happened' - I turned round and said that I didn't know but the area had been filmed by the police and that I was on the way to the station to see if I could recognise who had done that to my car.... I never so those kids again! Hurrahhhhh :rotfl: Just a tip!!!

benjo

Plus Benjo - thanks, you also made me laugh out loud. I really quite fancy ringing the police and saying I'm being held hostage, but am a bit too scared of the talking to I'll get for wasting their time :-0

Oh, I can think of plenty more 'giggles' alas I must add a disclaimer.... This should not be tried at home, you will get yourself into trouble for wasting 1. police time. 2. fire brigade time. 3. you might well end up in court yourself even though the silly old bint started it.

So, purely to keep you laughing here are some things you really SHOULD NOT DO....

1. Put a smoke bomb in her wheelie bin, sit back in your garden, with a gas mask on and watch the fun.
2. Put a stink bomb in her bin, sit back in your garden with a nose peg on and watch the fun.
3. Put a mannequin upside down in her bin, with just a bloody leg sticking out, sit back in your garden and watch the fun.
4. Superglue the wheels of her bin to the floor AWAY from your access, wait for bin day, sit back in your garden and enjoy the fun.
5. Invest in a small, (small enough to sit neatly in the bottom on her bin), cheap, CD player and a Wagner CD (you could make other music choices, but I suggest you stick with BIG music), drop it right at the bottom of her bin, switched on to loop the music over and over again (full volume of course), fill the bin with household waste, potato peelings, cat litter etc, insert ear plugs and sit back in your garden and watch the fun.
6. On the theme of CD players, same as above but with the music from Close encounters, insert alien toy from local toy store (make sure his head is peeping out from the top of the bin), liberally smear 'slime' (you can also buy that from local toy store - it resembles flourescent snot) around the bin, sit back and watch the fun.
7. Rinse and repeat item 6 with various themes, devils masks/music from the omen, etc, etc, let your imagination run wild, sit back in your garden and watch the fun.
8. Put an old bell style alarm clock inside a biscuit tin, in the bottom of the bin, set to go off early in the morning, cover liberally with household waste and wait for her neighbours to strangle her.

On a serious note, it is easy to get really down about potty neighbours - dont let the !!!!!!s get you down.

inmypocketnottheirs

benjo wrote: »

Oh, I can think of plenty more 'giggles' alas I must add a disclaimer.... This should not be tried at home, you will get yourself into trouble for wasting 1. police time. 2. fire brigade time. 3. you might well end up in court yourself even though the silly old bint started it.

So, purely to keep you laughing here are some things you really SHOULD NOT DO....

1. Put a smoke bomb in her wheelie bin, sit back in your garden, with a gas mask on and watch the fun.
2. Put a stink bomb in her bin, sit back in your garden with a nose peg on and watch the fun.
3. Put a mannequin upside down in her bin, with just a bloody leg sticking out, sit back in your garden and watch the fun.
4. Superglue the wheels of her bin to the floor AWAY from your access, wait for bin day, sit back in your garden and enjoy the fun.
5. Invest in a small, (small enough to sit neatly in the bottom on her bin), cheap, CD player and a Wagner CD (you could make other music choices, but I suggest you stick with BIG music), drop it right at the bottom of her bin, switched on to loop the music over and over again (full volume of course), fill the bin with household waste, potato peelings, cat litter etc, insert ear plugs and sit back in your garden and watch the fun.
6. On the theme of CD players, same as above but with the music from Close encounters, insert alien toy from local toy store (make sure his head is peeping out from the top of the bin), liberally smear 'slime' (you can also buy that from local toy store - it resembles flourescent snot) around the bin, sit back and watch the fun.
7. Rinse and repeat item 6 with various themes, devils masks/music from the omen, etc, etc, let your imagination run wild, sit back in your garden and watch the fun.
8. Put an old bell style alarm clock inside a biscuit tin, in the bottom of the bin, set to go off early in the morning, cover liberally with household waste and wait for her neighbours to strangle her.

On a serious note, it is easy to get really down about potty neighbours - dont let the !!!!!!s get you down.

Mate, you really do have too much time on your hands!! You should try going out sometime!!!:beer:

benjo

Mate, you really do have too much time on your hands!! You should try going out sometime!!!:beer:

If that is an invitation, where are you taking me on our first date?:T