help with resigning whilst on sick leave for stress

Floss

andygb wrote: »

On the contrary, I do not mean to be patronising, because I have seen both sides of the coin. I have seen people bullied by managers for no good reason, but I have also seen people who want to "cherry pick" tasks in an office environment, rather than muck in with the other staff, and accept that the less than glamorous jobs have to be done as well.
I have managed staff, and been responsible for training, and it is extremely satisfying to see people on a learning curve, and to be responsible for a team which is happy and performs well.

When you work in a very small organisation like the OP you cannot "cherry pick" - you have to be an all-rounder & be flexible.

I agree with Zazen999 - I think your post have a patronising overtone which to someone in this situation, who has been diagnosed with stress & anxiety by their GP, is not easy to deal with.

Personally I think there is precedent to believe that is is the boss who is not pulling their weight, NOT the OP.

Savvy_Sue

Bunnie1982 wrote: »

In my opinion refusal to give a reference at all speaks volumes.

Not if the employer says "it is company policy not to give references".

If they usually do, but refuse to do so for an individual, THAT speaks volumes!

andygb

Floss wrote: »

When you work in a very small organisation like the OP you cannot "cherry pick" - you have to be an all-rounder & be flexible.

I agree with Zazen999 - I think your post have a patronising overtone which to someone in this situation, who has been diagnosed with stress & anxiety by their GP, is not easy to deal with.

Personally I think there is precedent to believe that is is the boss who is not pulling their weight, NOT the OP.

I still do not see why this is patronising, and I was the one who said that you should not "cherry pick".
The OP alluded to the fact that this may or may not be the fact, with the words "nag and nag and nag", when talking about a manager.
How do we know that the boss is or is not pulling their weight?

SomeBozo

Not necessarily - they are more likely to be wary of what they say as if it is not true legal action could be taken.

As long as what was said was true, there is no legal action that could be taken.

Bozo

Runnybabbit

Hi Autumn

Reading your post is not far off what I'm experiencing myself at this present moment in time. I'm also currently signed off on sick leave with 'work related stress' although I have resigned.

I've been working in similiar circumstances but with one of the largest employers in the UK. I've been the victim of constant harassment and bullying by 3 other members of staff and my Line Manager allowed it to happen despite my attempting to talk to her about it. I resigned, I've worked for that department for 18 months and my Manager didn't even bat an eye lid when I gave her my Notice. I expected her to say "whatever is the problem, is there anything I can do to stop you from doing this?". !!!!!. For reasons that I can't state here, my Union became involved to try and pave the way for me. I too was like you, and wanted to 'dissolve' into the system. I ended up putting in a grievance about the other bullying members and also my Manager, as I felt, that she'd failed me. I was asked at the Meeting if I wanted to take part in the internal investigation which was about to follow, to which I said "no".

I've experieced every emotion you can think of. On one hand I still want to take this further (to stop it happening again to someone else) and on the other I want to let it go so that I can move forward and concentrate on what's good for me. My name is 'mud' in that department, I've received nasty text messages from members of staff, and treated like a social outcast. All I did was stand up for myself, and stupidly thought non-bullying staff would stand by me too.

Only you can decide what's best for you. I can't speak about the reference issue's as of todate, I have no experience in this field, although I may have to learn fast !!!!.

I'm really sorry that you're going through this, and I'm really sorry if I've come across as me, me, me, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
Babbit x

andygb

Runnybabbit wrote: »

Hi Autumn

Reading your post is not far off what I'm experiencing myself at this present moment in time. I'm also currently signed off on sick leave with 'work related stress' although I have resigned.

I've been working in similiar circumstances but with one of the largest employers in the UK. I've been the victim of constant harassment and bullying by 3 other members of staff and my Line Manager allowed it to happen despite my attempting to talk to her about it. I resigned, I've worked for that department for 18 months and my Manager didn't even bat an eye lid when I gave her my Notice. I expected her to say "whatever is the problem, is there anything I can do to stop you from doing this?". !!!!!. For reasons that I can't state here, my Union became involved to try and pave the way for me. I too was like you, and wanted to 'dissolve' into the system. I ended up putting in a grievance about the other bullying members and also my Manager, as I felt, that she'd failed me. I was asked at the Meeting if I wanted to take part in the internal investigation which was about to follow, to which I said "no".

I've experieced every emotion you can think of. On one hand I still want to take this further (to stop it happening again to someone else) and on the other I want to let it go so that I can move forward and concentrate on what's good for me. My name is 'mud' in that department, I've received nasty text messages from members of staff, and treated like a social outcast. All I did was stand up for myself, and stupidly thought non-bullying staff would stand by me too.

Only you can decide what's best for you. I can't speak about the reference issue's as of todate, I have no experience in this field, although I may have to learn fast !!!!.

I'm really sorry that you're going through this, and I'm really sorry if I've come across as me, me, me, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
Babbit x

To both Autumn and Runnybabbit,
if this ever happens to you again, then make sure that you keep a record of any criticisms or times when you feel that you were treated unfairly, and if need be, take it to an independent tribunal.
Runnybabbit, I am no legal expert, but have you thought of writing everything down, and going to see an employment lawyer, regarding a possible case of constructive dismissal?
Finally, good luck to the pair of you,
Andy.

Runnybabbit

Hi Andy

I feel awful for treading on Autumn's post but hopefully it may give her/him some courage.

I have fortunately been keeping a record of everything, I have dated and timed emails and a diary which allows me to write down my personal thoughts and how I felt at the time. I know I have enough proof for constructive dismissal, but after speaking to ACAS, don't really want to have to go to Court and have my work life discussed by people who don't know me. I know they've done wrong, they know they've done wrong, but there is more than one way to skin a cat !

Autumn, hold your head high, stick two fingers up and sod the lot of em! Move on and concentrate on your new life, leaving the crap behind - god this makes me so mad :mad: .

babbit x

andygb

Runnybabbit wrote: »

Hi Andy

I feel awful for treading on Autumn's post but hopefully it may give her/him some courage.

I have fortunately been keeping a record of everything, I have dated and timed emails and a diary which allows me to write down my personal thoughts and how I felt at the time. I know I have enough proof for constructive dismissal, but after speaking to ACAS, don't really want to have to go to Court and have my work life discussed by people who don't know me. I know they've done wrong, they know they've done wrong, but there is more than one way to skin a cat !

Autumn, hold your head high, stick two fingers up and sod the lot of em! Move on and concentrate on your new life, leaving the crap behind - god this makes me so mad :mad: .

babbit x

Hi,
you may not have to go to court (I am speaking from experience here), because if you have been keeping records, then there is every chance that the employer will back down, and come to some kind of "compromise agreement". This is basically an out of court settlement, and can be quite a good deal. It also means, that you no longer have to speak with your employer because your solicitor handles everything, so no awkward phone calls, sarcastic remarks from boss or HR departments.
It may be worth thinking about.
Andy