Can anyone give me advise about father in law

littlemissbossy

My FIL is 86 and is really bad with his nerves he can't sit still, sleep or rest. He says he isn't worried about anything in particular as me and my husband deal with everything ie shopping, bills and we have a home help go in every day.

He is wearing my MIL out as he if very negative and constantly needs attentionand won't let her leave him on his own at all. He keeps getting her to ring the on call doctor/NHS direct who keep coming round and calling for an ambulance as I don't think anyone knows what to do. He goes into hospital for a few hours they give him the all clear and he says he wants to go home.

He has various health problems but I don't think these are causing his problems its just his nerves.

Can anyone give me any advise as to where to go for help, would it be age concern, social services, his GP is either rubbish or sick to death of him, not sure which. I don't know whether he needs to see some sort of councellor but don't really know where to start looking.

Sorry for the ramble, hope I've got my point across.

Mrs_P_Pincher

I'd talk to Age Concern as a starter - then see what they advise, although I do wonder whether, if he hasn't always been like this, this could be the start of dementia.

Good luck

Mrs P P

Savvy_Sue

Try each of them in turn and see who's most helpful.

Social Services could be asked to do a Carer's Assessment on your mum, ie what support SHE needs in order to carry on caring for your dad.

Mum could see GP and explain what terrible strain SHE is under.

Age Concern might also have helpful suggestions.

Mind you, it's not just your dad who insists on calling out of hours doctor / ambulance etc. I know he's not well, and I know he's in pain, but if he won't take their advice and go and see his own GP as a non-emergency, it's very hard to give the appropriate levels of sympathy!

franr43

He sounds to me as if he may have what psychiatrists call 'agitated Depression' - so he's right about needing medical attention but from Mental health services. Suggest you ask GP for a referral to a psychogeriatrician to assess.

twentypenceoff

i would hate to alarm you but my ex mil got like this and then she had a heart attack and the doctor said it can show initially as nervousness with no physical symptoms, but i dont know why that would be, the body knowing something is wrong, maybe?

snowmaid

He is a good age now and could be feeling worried and insecure, hence wanting to call the GP etc. It is so difficult for everyone when a loved one reaches this stage. There is a lot of good suggestions here, try them. Good luck.

moggitymog

ask the GP to refer to Community Mental Health Team for older adults, they will do a full assessment, get the referral done ASAP as waiting lists can take a while

littlemissbossy

Thankyou for all your suggestions and advice, that has given me a starting point.