Messy split

tiptoes

Hi all

My partner and I have decided to split, though we bought a house a couple months ago. My partner wants me and the children to move out,neither are his, i wish to stay in the house as dont want to uproot the children again from school and home, as they are just settling.
I've offered to get house valued and give otherhalf his share of any profit and the deposit back as it was his inheritance off his gran. Though he just whats me to walk away with the kids.

Other option is to sell and us both start again. Please all adive welcome.

jenniferpa

I'm sorry that this relationship didn't work out. I have no idea what the legal ramifications are, but off the top of my head, there is no way I would be the one that was walking. Logistically, you would have to house yourself and your children, find new schools etc., whereas he just has to house himself. Since he doesn't sound as if he's going to be reasonable get to a solicitor asap.

Jennifer

mdean

Hi - I assume the property is in joint names- and is mortgaged - in which case the good news is that he cannot require you to leave - I do think unless you had a formal agreement that you would be responsible for the mortgage as the bank will envoke "joint and several liability"

What you are proposing is reasonable providing you can raise the cash- effectively buying him out of his share at todays prices

good luck

bizzy_lizzie

I looked at this when my OH was behaving oddly ( it turned out he had depression but it took a while to get it diagnosed.)

I am sure i found out that you couldnt be forced to sell until the youngest child finished full time education.

Good luck & hope everything turns out for the best

BL

hjb123

I would go to see someone at the local CAB and see what they say but to be honest. On the one hand you have a case to stay in the house as you have kids - but you say they arent your expartners. Is the house in joint names or just his as you say it was an inheritance to him? I can see his point wanting to keep the house if it was an inheritance though.

Is he not willing to buy you out or pay you a deposit or money towards somewhere in the area? Were bills/mortgage/expenditure shared equally etc?

TIGs

If the house is in joint names why should you do what he wants????

Why can't he do what you want???? Sit tight doesn't matter if the kids are his or not if the house is in joint names its as much yours as it is his even if it was his money used to pay the deposit.

Go to CAB and ask them for advice, at least then you know where you stand legally.

Good Luck :j

mdean

why exactly do the two posts above asume that it is tiptoes ex partner who is in the wrong - or indeed that either are in the wrong

I think in these sorts of circumstances it is important to take the emotional heat out of the situation.

It sounds to me that Tiptoes wants to stay put and her ex wants his money back - given they have voluntarily decided to purchase a house together both reasonable things.

Given there are no kids involved (from the ex's point of view) He has no obligation to stump up any cash - and it is reasonable for Tiptoes to pay the mortgage on the house she is living in.

The ex is entitled to his 'money back' by a buy out - but not straight away

This I hope is reasuring to TT and is more helpful than the all men are b'stards thing.

TT has no need to go near the housing office or CAB if she can pay the mortgage - she will need a lawer to close the deal

tiptoes

Sorry didint pharse myself well, The house was not his inheritance the money we used as the deposit was and the problem comes as he wants to stay put, me just take my name off mortgage and move out, I've offered to let him buy me out but he just wants me to leave. Ive offered to buy him out +pay back the deposit. Or thrid option is to sell up niether of theses he wants to go for. The split a joint decision after talking and realising that we dont know how to make it work any longer.

comping_cat

tiptoes wrote:

Sorry didint pharse myself well, The house was not his inheritance the money we used as the deposit was and the problem comes as he wants to stay put, me just take my name off mortgage and move out, I've offered to let him buy me out but he just wants me to leave. Ive offered to buy him out +pay back the deposit. Or thrid option is to sell up niether of theses he wants to go for. The split a joint decision after talking and realising that we dont know how to make it work any longer.

I bet he wants you to just move out and take your name off the mortgage!!!! Goodness, that has just made me so mad :mad: !!! He might find that the mortgage company wont let you take your name off, unless his salery covers the whole mortgage (i think you said on the O/S thread that he couldnt get the mortgage on his own?)
I think the problem is, how much hassle he is going to cause, and how much you are prepared to live with. You dont have to move, and as you are both on the mortgage, he cant make you. By the way, when you bought the house, did you sign a decloration stating that if you split up, he would get his deposit back, or a larger share of the equity? If you didnt, you are both entitled to a 50/50 split, in which case your offer of paying back the deposit and his half is a much better offer than if he wants to fight because no declaration, no deposit back!!!!!

mdean

Not quite sure I follow all the details but

1) If the house is in joint names neither of you can make the other do anything - you must agree

2) You should not move out

3) Just taking your or his name off the ownership for the house and liability for the mortgage is not how it works

4)either - you buy him out (It is not clear whether he owns more of the house than you) - it does not matter - if you can raise the larger mortgage you can do that if he agrees. That should be at the market rate - ie has value gone up or down

or - he buys you out

Final 2 options - not v palatable continue to share the house - or leave it unsettled