Unemployment Making Me Utterly MISERABLE!

budgettraveller

I really feel for all of you who really want to work but just can't find anything. Years ago I was made redundant, but luckily the job market was still quite buoyant back then and I managed to find another job within 4 weeks. I remember the fear and the panic in the weeks until I got another job worrying if I'd be able to pay the morgage and bills and wondering how long it would take to find something, getting down to the final 2 on many occasions only for the job to go to the other candidate, so I can't imagine what it's like for those of you who have been job hunting for longer.

I don't know if anybody has already mentioned this, but what I did back then was post my CV up on Monster (I'm not allowed to put in links as I'm a newbie), but I did it as a "private" CV so if any employers/agencies wanted to get in contact they had to e-mail me through Monster as my personal details were hidden, as was my last employer. This was good because it meant if I thought it was just some agency chancing it to harvest CV's I could ignore the e-mail.

Anyway, a few direct employers and agencies did get in touch that way and I got quite a few interviews from it. This was a few years ago, but once I got another job I never actually removed my CV from Monster (if you don't update it regularly, it drops to the bottom of the pile, so I thought I'd just leave it on to save me time if I was ever made redundant again in the future). Just lately I've been getting e-mails through Monster from direct employers advising me they have a position open and would I be interested, even though I haven't updated my CV on Monster for a long time as I'm not currently looking for work. So, it appears to me like the direct employers are cutting out the middle man and searching directly for employees to cut out the middle man and the commisson. One of the companies that contacted me recently would have been somewhere I would have applied to if I was unemployed, so it's not all scammers on Monster, although you do get one or two e-mails that seem suspicious.

Sorry for rambling on, it is quite a long winded post, but I just wanted to explain why posting your CV up on Monster anonymously might help you in your job search. I apprecite some of you migh have already done this so this post may not help you, but for those who haven't it is worth it, as I'm still being contacted years later, which if I was job hunting would be ideal. Also, when it's direct employers contacting you it's more likely to be a real job than agencies harvesting CVs.

rosered1963

Thanks budgettraveller - I didn't know any of that.

sackcloth

Dear All,

Fab hints and tips - lots to think about there. I agree that 100% self employment may be the way to go and then I can ditch the office politics... lol!! Gosh, don't miss that at all... :rolleyes:

RR: haven't got any advice about the HB as we've got a mortgage and we're about to enter the Govt plans for mortgage interest payments. Keep on with the enquiries though, it's important that you follow this up.

Budget: (love the name) I'm on Monster and they are pretty awful but then it could be my area that's the problem as I tend to get jobs offered that are over 100 miles away. I keep all my CVs posted on the websites as open so that I generate calls from agencies. Yes, they often waste your time, but it might be worth it if one call comes off.

Scrooge: you are today's hero.:T Your post is particularly inspiring and I'm definitely going to look into the self employment route. Difficult one to call while claiming benefits but I'd be delighted to say I was working again whatever.

Truegho: I can't even get a job in a shop and I'll do anything (not in a BBC show way though... or maybe I would???) - you're not alone and keep your chin up. Besides it's the weekend so you get two days off now from worrying about work.

Ms London: welcome along... We're mad here but it helps.

Everyone else! Yes, it's difficult to keep focussed and I completely understand about slobbing into the JC after 6 months. I'm still at the 3 months and desperate stage... lol!! Funny enough, I sort of feel that I've wasted the time too but with my OH out of work, it's a difficult situation. Today, he's owned up to being very ANGRY with the world and finds that he loses his composure when shopping or driving. I'm letting him have a mini-argument with me to keep him going but even I can't help him when he's out and about. This is the difficult time to try and keep each other going and keep up our moral. So wish me luck with the wicked husband of the West this weekend... lol!! :eek:

Today's thought: live in the now... and remember we're better than this.

Toodles,
Sackcloth

rosered1963

Sackcloth - you're wonderful and Gypsy Rosered thinks that you won't be out of work for long! I can relate to your husband - I used to laugh all the time and do anything for anyone. In the last 5 months I have become angry and sullen all the time - even my dreams are loss of control - teeth falling out etc- dreams.

I hate what I have become and don't like the company of those I love because I see my awful new self reflected back at me in their eyes.

God I can't believe I actually said that but it's true.

I need a massive effort of will to pull myself out of this hole and get myself back. I am definitely going the self-employed route - thanks to everyone here who has given me encouragement. Hope you are having a good weekend and catch you later. It's a lovely day and we are all alive - that's the main thing!

sackcloth

Ha... that got your attention!!

Gypsy Rose Red... hmm a whole different career strand from normal there... lol!! Ever seen the film? "Everything's coming up Roses" is one of my fav songs... and then of course there's always "You gotta get a gimmick"... I baggsie the roman horn... lol!!!

Seriously though, don't hide away from your nearest and dearest or they will be more worried about you. You don't have to wear your despair as a badge of honour but the real you is suffering right now and you have a right to get support from who ever can offer it. There's no real "new" you - you're still caring and helpful and nice, just stuck at the bottom of the pile. :A

Take some time out and think about all the positive things you've ever done in your life. You haven't changed in the last few months, and this experience is terrible but don't let it get you down hun... there's a lot of us here in the same situation.

And you lot are keeping me sane... okay, who said that...???? Yes, I dreamt I was David Tennant's new assistant, yes, I dreamt I was having a baby, I even dreamt I was doing a stand up routine and actually I was doing quite well (Simon Cowell liked it) and when I was at my last job, I used to dream I couldn't find my way round the office and had to keep climbing ladders and going through holes to get to my desk. I don't seem to dream that one now so that's a relief... Back to Mr Tennant...

Don't put me off...!! Auntie Sackcloth's going to tell you a story today... a story of bravado and the saddest bravery you'll hear...

When my company announced that we were going into a redundancy consultation period, I pretty much knew that my job would go and that I was on the front line. My very young line manager fell to pieces and withdrew so much so that she still hasn't spoken to me! She knew, and I knew, that she would be making a decision that would change my life and she knew that my OH was already out of work.

My co-worker and I were asked to pitch our skills against each other for one role in our department. It was unfair and awful. My co-worker and I both worked on our skill sets and discussed our meeting tactics. She was single, living at home and had no dependents. Bless her, she was a great girl and had decided that I had the job and was already planning to take some time off and travel. Despite everything, I helped her to remain focussed and confident at a time when our Line Manager was really struggling. I tried to keep the department spirits up and carried on working as if I was still in the job for the rest of the year. I planned and prepared just in case I was let go but hoped I wouldn't be.

The day came and I got the heave-ho. I was given 15 mins to leave and was asked to come back to a hand over in 2 days time. They wanted me out and fast. So this is where the bravery comes in...

Most of my colleagues and friends were devastated. My co-worker was in tears and my best friends in the office were shocked to the core. They really believed in me and that made me feel better. But I was really concerned that they would be left in the poop and my sad loyalty didn't want that. So what did I do?

I met with the HR department to finalise the deal and then spent the rest of the day clearing my desk, clearing my PC and handing over my work. The fact that I was prepared was great and meant that I could spend my last working day with the friends and colleagues in a good way. I went in to the office like a diva, dressed to the nines and wearing heels, and the rest of the day was spent going to say goodbye personally to everyone who had helped me. The directors were the ones who didn't make the effort to say goodbye all the little people were fantastic and I left there with almost a round of applause and certainly I felt that I had left with my head held high. Okay, so I broke down into tears on the train on the way home but I knew that I had done my best. And that's the real me. Loyal, to the end.:o

Deep down inside, I am angry and frightened and excited and nervous and anxious and lots of emotions. But I know who I am and who I was. I know that life chucks stuff at you but you ALWAYS remain true to yourself.

We are good people. We are real people and we're struggling to find a voice. Up the workers, up the people... I salute you all...!!

Enjoy Sunday - make sure you all get some fresh air...
Sackcloth

:beer:

snowqueen555

Monster, sounds good.. been having a look but most jobs seem 'above me'.

You know whats annoying me? I've sent 30 cvs this week and no replies. Most of them are entry level jobs, so I am talking retail and kitchen work, with kitchen work no-one wants me because i got no experience, though I do have a hygiene certificate, it seems useless at the moment, glad i didn't have to pay for it

rosered1963

sackcloth wrote: »

Ha... that got your attention!!

Gypsy Rose Red... hmm a whole different career strand from normal there... lol!! Ever seen the film? "Everything's coming up Roses" is one of my fav songs... and then of course there's always "You gotta get a gimmick"... I baggsie the roman horn... lol!!!

Seriously though, don't hide away from your nearest and dearest or they will be more worried about you. You don't have to wear your despair as a badge of honour but the real you is suffering right now and you have a right to get support from who ever can offer it. There's no real "new" you - you're still caring and helpful and nice, just stuck at the bottom of the pile. :A

Take some time out and think about all the positive things you've ever done in your life. You haven't changed in the last few months, and this experience is terrible but don't let it get you down hun... there's a lot of us here in the same situation.

And you lot are keeping me sane... okay, who said that...???? Yes, I dreamt I was David Tennant's new assistant, yes, I dreamt I was having a baby, I even dreamt I was doing a stand up routine and actually I was doing quite well (Simon Cowell liked it) and when I was at my last job, I used to dream I couldn't find my way round the office and had to keep climbing ladders and going through holes to get to my desk. I don't seem to dream that one now so that's a relief... Back to Mr Tennant...

Don't put me off...!! Auntie Sackcloth's going to tell you a story today... a story of bravado and the saddest bravery you'll hear...

When my company announced that we were going into a redundancy consultation period, I pretty much knew that my job would go and that I was on the front line. My very young line manager fell to pieces and withdrew so much so that she still hasn't spoken to me! She knew, and I knew, that she would be making a decision that would change my life and she knew that my OH was already out of work.

My co-worker and I were asked to pitch our skills against each other for one role in our department. It was unfair and awful. My co-worker and I both worked on our skill sets and discussed our meeting tactics. She was single, living at home and had no dependents. Bless her, she was a great girl and had decided that I had the job and was already planning to take some time off and travel. Despite everything, I helped her to remain focussed and confident at a time when our Line Manager was really struggling. I tried to keep the department spirits up and carried on working as if I was still in the job for the rest of the year. I planned and prepared just in case I was let go but hoped I wouldn't be.

The day came and I got the heave-ho. I was given 15 mins to leave and was asked to come back to a hand over in 2 days time. They wanted me out and fast. So this is where the bravery comes in...

Most of my colleagues and friends were devastated. My co-worker was in tears and my best friends in the office were shocked to the core. They really believed in me and that made me feel better. But I was really concerned that they would be left in the poop and my sad loyalty didn't want that. So what did I do?

I met with the HR department to finalise the deal and then spent the rest of the day clearing my desk, clearing my PC and handing over my work. The fact that I was prepared was great and meant that I could spend my last working day with the friends and colleagues in a good way. I went in to the office like a diva, dressed to the nines and wearing heels, and the rest of the day was spent going to say goodbye personally to everyone who had helped me. The directors were the ones who didn't make the effort to say goodbye all the little people were fantastic and I left there with almost a round of applause and certainly I felt that I had left with my head held high. Okay, so I broke down into tears on the train on the way home but I knew that I had done my best. And that's the real me. Loyal, to the end.:o

Deep down inside, I am angry and frightened and excited and nervous and anxious and lots of emotions. But I know who I am and who I was. I know that life chucks stuff at you but you ALWAYS remain true to yourself.

We are good people. We are real people and we're struggling to find a voice. Up the workers, up the people... I salute you all...!!

Enjoy Sunday - make sure you all get some fresh air...
Sackcloth

:beer:

What a great post Sacklcoth :T
You left that employment and situation is the best possible way with dignity, grace and kindness.

Before I left my job, I used to fantasise about telling the director where to go etc, but in the event, I didn't. I have knowledge and expertise (very specialist to the job and business I worked for) that they couldn't replace easily, due to a total lack of knowledge management in the company - not because I am indispensible LOL!. I offered for people to email me if I could help and they still do regularly. I even went back to do some short specialist contracting work.

My situation is different to yours in that I was not made redundant: After ten years in the company, I saw everything collapsing around me and after a botched restructure, 12 of my 16 colleagues left and for two years I had to do my own job plus cover everything else from running a library, to a 30,000 contact database single handed, to being the only press officer in a big organsation and running their international events. I worked day and night to keep on top, then my husband (who is ridiculously young and inexperienced in the workplace, or so I thought) said "It will never change - as long as you are keeping all the balls in the air, they won't do anything - they will just keep making you empty promises". He was right.

I left after 10 years, taking a big risk to start a new, less well-paid but seemingly exciting job. I worked in the new job for 2 weeks before I realised that the trustees had not even agreed my appointment and didn't have any funds to pay me a salary anyway. The Chief Executive had appointed me without their authority. I was one month away from my wedding with no work and my confidence and my trust in people severely dented. 6 months later, this is where I am now. I was not made redundant from my job of ten years - wish I had been as the money would have been a life saver. So my situation is to some extent self-inflicted.

Thanks for your intelligent and reassuring words. I think even people who read this thread but decide not to contribute will be bolstered up by your honesty and humour. You won't be out of work for long - you're like a firecracker. I am more like a burnt out sparkler lying in a puddle but I'm starting to pull myself up now.


Have a great day everyone!

RR XXX

Hope everyone is having a great day

sackcloth

Hello all, well a very poorly Sackcloth here with a nasty head cold. I'm going to take the day off and dose myself up with something lemony... (no advertising here without payment).

Snowqueen: it's hard going when you are sending your CV off so much and I now have several different versions which go for the sort of role I have. Might be worth going over yours and doing the same. I also upload my CV - even if it's the same - on Reed and Totaljobs every so often as it does bounce the CV back in front of the recruiters. You could also try that tip... and wave that Hygiene cert in the CV writ large. Every little helps. :T

Rosered: firstly big apologies for calling you Gypsy Rosered. I meant in the film style (Natalie Wood, Rosalind Russell) but obviously it has other meanings for you and I would have hated to make you feel bad about yourself especially at the moment.

That said, my dear, please don't be so hard on yourself. Whether you are in this fix because you made a career move or you are there because of incompetence by your bosses or the credit crunch, you are here now. Your hubby is right, you were being taken advantage of and a person can only juggle like that for so long before having a nervous breakdown. Leaving your job was your manifestation of that. The other job - well what a shower they turned out to be. I am of the opinion that bosses are actually the Devil at the moment and certainly they have let you down terribly. YOU HAVE NOT LET ANYONE DOWN. AND THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES... print this bit off and stick it on your fridge but don't you DARE take the blame...!!! :mad:

And congrats on getting married and making a wonderful new life, even if it doesn't feel like it yet. You have a fantastic time ahead and timing is always pretty bad. My OH was made redundant in the last recession twice in six months which coincided with the birth of our second child, his timing was awful but it gave us the chance to spend time with our kids while we both searched for work without the guilt of having to take maternity leave or worry about our careers. There is, trust me, a silver lining if you look for it.

Right, I'm off to raid the medicine cabinet. This firecracker's about to go "phut" and go off... :eek:

Keep your chin/s up... even if you have more than one and I look forward to hearing from you all again soon. To those who are readers, go on, post a message just to let me know I'm not the only mentalist... I'm not am I?

Sniff, sniff...
Sackcloth.

medini

When I Read this thread it reminds me I am not alone. For every day that goes by I feel lower and lower. Its like my world is shrinking in on me. i've applied for around 80 jobs so far. Out of these I've had 4 rejection emails and heard nothing from the rest.

I signed up for several agencies when I first lost my job as Id been working as an office temp so thought they would be interested. For about a week or so they phoned me to harvest my details and then nothing.

rosered1963

Hi everyone

Sackcloth - Sorry you're poorly - look at it this way - you don't have to worry about having a day off affecting your sick record! You are funny! I love your posts. I hope you get your firecrackeroisity back soon. Thanks so much for your kind words.

But your totally right all round - being unemployed can help you get things into perspective when you've been running blindly on a hamster wheel for years like I was. It gives you the chance to stop and think - which can be a very uncomfortable thing but very useful. As you said - it's a golden opportunity to have a real look at your life and what you want, and to learn from experience what you don't want. Many people never get this opportunity. We have got it.

What have I learned from the experience detailed above that has caused me to become unemployed? Can I share this with you people? It may be obvious to you, but none of it was at the time.

When jobhunting:

1. Don't always think that the people who are interviewing you actually know anything about the job they are interviewing you for - it is usual practice for the current jobholder not to be on the interview panel. The panellists are often very senior and know nothing about the job and may make it look interesting and relevant to you when it is neither. This means that you can take a job thinking it is one thing and finding out that it is something totally different. Therefore make sure there is a detailed job description or another way of finding out exactly what the job is, your position in the hierarchy etc. I once took a research officer job. It turned out that they wanted someone to type correspondence - see what I mean? Some of the recruiters just shouldn't be doing it.

2. Don't take up a job until you have a contract in your hand, no matter how much they pressurise you to start without one - they have done without you so far so can do without you a little longer until the contract is drawn up. If the contract as a clause in it saying "as and when required" with no end date, take it to a solicitor to get it checked before you sign it - this clause means that the employer can retain you and pick you up and drop you at will, and it will be almost impossible to sign on between, as you are technically still under contract.

3. Make sure the employer you have applied to is solvent and legal. Get their accounts from companies house. Do some research about them on the web. Don't believe their boasting and hype "We are the leading player in... We are the leaing charity in the field of..." Ignore this rubbish and find out what the truth really is.

4. If you are in a job where you are working all hours, covering loads of jobs and it is becoming impossible and no-one will listen to you, make sure you have a good escape route. I escaped Alcatraz only to end up in the sea full of sharks. What I needed was a good raft!

5. Be MSE - don't spend money unneccesarily to make yourself feel better in the short term.

Medini - welcome! Good luck and I hope you come back to tell us how you're doing.

RRX